The Narcissist after the Break-Up

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narc and breakupBreaking up with a narcissist is an emotional roller coaster. If you have read other articles or received support from a therapist on how to break up with a narcissist, you will know that the only viable way to do this is with No Contact.  However, this causes the narcissist to experience “withdrawal” from not having enough ‘narcissistic supply’. In his frantic desire to gain a “fix” of narcissistic supply, he will respond in one of two ways. He will either leave, with no remorse or shame for the abuse he has imposed, and seek out a new source of supply or he will immediately swing back into pursuit mode, with the singular goal of winning you back.  A narcissist does not want to be alone and he constantly needs someone to validate him.

Sticking to your guns of No Contact will initially anger and threaten the narcissist, so expect some new craziness to emerge.  The narcissist is relentless when it comes to securing his sources, and he will use all kinds of manipulative behavior to draw you back into the relationship.  He may romance you, seduce you, and charm you just like he did in the beginning.  If that doesn’t work he will resort to more drastic measures such as threatening suicide or saying “he cannot live without you”.  The narcissist will return to see if he can still get his fix from you, or even create supply through your reactions.  The narcissist isn’t ignorant about the pain he’s caused, he just doesn’t care.  As long as you react-in any way-the narcissist will always come back (whenever there is a lapse in whatever supply he’s replaced you with).

Do not underestimate the patience of the narcissist; he will wait to come back until the most convenient time to return.  He will return without offering an apology or explanation. He will come back to get the thrill he wants… the thrill of power- of conquering and controlling. When his narcisstic supplies run out, rest assured, he will be knocking at your door.

The narcissist will dig deep into his ‘bag of tricks’ to re-conquer his perceived opponent. He will be capable of unthinkable and egregious behavior because your initiative of No Contact has upset him to the very core. His nastiness can range from simple verbal attacks to being downright destructive.  Do not underestimate him and be prepared for anything– despite how well you think you may know them.

However, if he knows that you have figured him out, he will not want to be around you for fear that you will tell people the truth.  He is less likely to contact you after the break-up. Most likely the individual with NPD will move on quickly. NPD has no conscience, hence his ability to move on quickly to seek a new victim with more supply.

The Boomerang

Prepare yourself for continued conflict after the break-up for he will fight the decision tooth and nail.  The narcissist will be worried about how you will make them look plus the added effort of having to find another person to abuse. He may suddenly soften toward you, he may seem sweet and probably even claim that he will change for you. A narcissist will try to talk his way back in the door claiming unfinished business or the need to talk.  He will try manipulating you back into the relationship.  A narcissist will come back like a boomerang.  Even after they accept the break-up, they will show up with gifts at your door.  They will want to talk fondly of the relationship.  They will want to control what you say to others about why you broke up.  They need to be in control and they need to still come out looking like a hero.

Perhaps the most confusing and difficult thing when being involved with a narcissist is the crazy- making cycles of breaking up followed by the “highs” of making up.  It is an inevitable process that comes with the territory of a narcisstic relationship. A narcissist will leave you only to return back to the relationship; he will hurt you deeply and then come back on bended knee and beg forgiveness; he will spend excessive amounts of time trying to convince you to give him another chance, only to revert back to his old ways as soon as he realizes you have once again committed to him.

Narcissists take advantage of your good nature and they know how to get you to feel sorry for them.  At first he will show acts of being loving, compassionate and supportive; he will promise to change and he has a natural ability to fake tears and emotion. He may acknowledge the error of his ways and promise it will never happen again. The conquest of getting you back is like a drug to him; the narcissist is a junkie when it comes to obtaining his sources of supply. He needs his fix whether it comes from new narcisstic sources of supply or old sources.

These boomerang cycles and the conquests make him feel alive and give him a thrill.  This is why the narcissist will use every known lure, going to great lengths to reel you back in again, only to immediately revert back to his old behavior after he has succeeded. Realize, too, that any type of reaction from you is considered narcissistic supply; your reaction whether positive or negative is irrelevant.  If he can’t get a good response from you, he will try to elicit a bad response…any reaction from you gives him his fix.  Do not feed his addiction.

Quick “Fix”

It doesn’t matter if your relationship lasted months or years, the narcissist believes he will always own you and that he will always have control over you. He is arrogant and truly believes that all people he is, or was, close to can still be manipulated despite the passing of time

They will ignore the boundaries that you try to set. Giving these emotional predators the benefit of the doubt or forgiveness is like giving them the rope to hang their victims. They prey on individuals that are forgiving or are romantics.

Most victims of a narcissist want to believe this boomerang behavior is based upon genuine desire to be back in a relationship with them and wanting the relationship to work. Unfortunately, a narcissist is only returning back to the relationship to get a “quick fix” on his addiction.  The narcissist will put on a great act and use his best performance to lure you in and conquer you once more. As time passes, the way he treats you and the cycles of idealization and de-valuation begin to re-establish themselves. This process continues on, even during the break- up stages. If you validate him by reacting to him in any way, shape, or form, he’s got his fix and will move on to the next best supply. You may feel intoxicated by his change of heart and behavior and take him back but the minute he realizes that he has you again he will immediately revert back to his old cruel behavior.  It’s a mind game and the only reason the narcissist continues to come back is to ensure that he still has you right where he wants you- where he can control you.

Summary

In summary, expect continued craziness after a breakup; given time the ensuing craziness will subside to a more manageable level if you do not take him back.  When the narcissist finds a more reliable source of supply, he will skip off without hesitation and show no signs of remorse, guilt or shame.  You on the other hand, are left heart- broken as well as emotionally and mentally exhausted.  You will need to remind yourself that narcissists are incapable of change, and that they are incapable of genuinely loving anyone.  If you take them back after the break-up, the roller-coaster ride will be ongoing and the boomerang cycles will continually repeat. Break free by sticking with No Contact and get support from those who have also been through it (support group) or from an NPD experienced therapist.

 References:

http://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/life/what-to-expect-after-the-break-up-with-the-narcissist/

http://www.ehow.com/how_4871106_break-up-narcissist.html

http://getoveranarcissist.com/narcissist-break-up-cycles/

http://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/dear-narcissist-a-break-up-is-the-end/

 

 

About Alexander Burgemeester

46 Responses to “The Narcissist after the Break-Up”

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  1. Brandi says:

    Thank you, deeply.

  2. Maripaz Lara says:

    That was a great post. I was with one for 4 years married to him for 2 years. I thought he was my knight in shining armor. He was trying to mirror me by pretending to be someone he is not. He made me feel I was the only woman on the planet. As soon as I was hooked and was on his way regarding pornography, prostitution, online dating and his womanizing ways he was verbally and physically abusive. He was a brilliant liar and great actor. The last time he hit me was 12/12. I am unemployed, living with a friend and he depleted my account. He did try and tell me he misses me but due to my love for him he sucked me in with his web of lies. With my current situation I decided going back last month. He said too late he found someone else. Wife number 3 who like exactly like his daughter. He met his match. I filed for divorce on 3/13. The best thing I did was no contact it has been close to 2 months. If I stayed I will be so affected mentally and emotionally.

    • veronica says:

      I realised over a year ago that the person I was with has N behaviour. Anyway I took him back after he promised to change etc. What intrigued me or got my attention about your post is the fact that you mentioned Pornography! This was the one thing I discovered about him earlier this year. He has an obsession with porn but lies when confronted. I saw it on his pc. His phone. Even saw text msgs to women whose details he got from one of the sites. I thought it was nothing at first but the more I came across these I knew that it is an addiction. I feel sick by all of these things I have discovered about him. We aren’t together anymore and I’ve been trying to stick to the NC. Its working thus far and yes it isn’t long but everyday I pray for courage not to be sucked in to his web. Its quite sick reading all these things that so well describes him.

  3. caitlin says:

    Great post. I definitely click with the behavior patterns and scenarios described. I do however wish that the narcissist depicted was made gender neutral. Thanks again for the insight

  4. pretty says:

    I iam going threw the same thing right now we have been together for 3 and married for 1 and it has been the worst year of my life. I just want out, what should I do I have no job nust had a baby 03-13 a 5 and 9 I cant take it anymore.

  5. Echo says:

    I was married to a narcissist for 10 years and we had three children together. I ended the relationship by filing for divorce, but co-parenting and visitation prevent me from having NO CONTACT. He now uses our children as tools to abuse me. He continually crosses boundaries and violates court orders. We have been back to court several times. A few years ago the court reduced his visitation to only three times a year and allowed me to move across the country from him. He still flies to my state to exercise his visitation, so he can maintain contact with me. A psychological evaluation was conducted during our last custody case and he was found to have a Personality Disorder with narcissistic, paranoid, and anti-social traits. I had difficulty getting the courts to understand the behavior exhibited from these traits and how that behavior impacts my children. Emotional abuse, lies, manipulation, and favoritism, are prevalent during visitation. Since these don’t fit under the criterion of physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect, child protection is unable to help me. All three children are in on-going counseling, but my ex claims the problems stem from me. He recently filed for full-custody again so we are in yet another court battle. I want nothing more than to stop the abuse and the continual court cases. I feel like I will never be able to escape my abuser or protect my children from the abuse they must endure because I left. Do you have any advice or tips on dealing with a narcissist when NO CONTACT isn’t an option?

    • Karen says:

      I just came across this post and i felt i was rading about me. Echo, i know EXACTLY what you are going through. I was with my Narcissist for 12 LONG YEARS and when i decided to finally leave him (it took me years as had 2 young kids) he said he would make it a blood bath, which he did.

      I went to court SEVERAL times, too many to count as soon as my child was 12, i did NOT have to deal with my ex. Contact was done through my son, as he could decide when he wanted to see me etc. Narcissists have a great way of manipulating and of course pitting your kids against you. they are very good liers, actors as you know.

      I went to counciling for several years, and what i always remember is that the councilor said, when your children are older they will be able to decide and make their own decisions on who to believe. They of course, believed their dad as he was very convincing to them and of course as you know kids are impressionable.

      I can tell you that now, one of my kids came around when she began an adult. ON HER OWN> I stayed away, ALTHOUGH it was hard. Now at 21yrs old we are close. She realized that it was her dad. She saw first hand of the different women going in and out of ther life, and none of his relationships lasting.

      I am not in contact with my son, as he is still manipulating him, but i’m hoping that he will come around in his own time

      I am NOT saying this is easy. I have cried ALOT of tears, never being able to understand how someone could be so cruel. He still tries to get back at me, indirectly. I had to get a restraining order. In spite of all this, i still dont regret leaving him and all the grief, to get away from him was the best thing i did for my sanity

      Stay Strong, get counciling. its is a long and difficult path. You will see the light, it might be months, years, but know its a better life without this blood sucking guys!!

  6. Eleisha hayes says:

    I am so angry this man stole my youth. I am now 38 I met him when I was 26 he was 48 he used me I allowed this now I feel like running him over he is 60 a crack head and I was as well. I can’t believe I let him in so deep. I have a strong hate for him

  7. Eleisha hayes says:

    I am so angry this man has put me in a terrible position I know he means me no well. I have nobody I can talk to this man has really hurt me I hate him and I wish him harm

  8. nic says:

    I broke up with my ex narc in march after 16 years and 3 children. As soon as he left he has been spiteful and nasty to me and the kids. He’s totally ignored them and doesn’t ever phone or see them. He’s with someone else now and so in love. They are now moving away and 2 weeks ago they got married. … less than 6 months after he left. He did this without telling the kids and they have never met her. What are the chances of this relationship being real and lasting and what are the chances of him trying to come back? I don’t want him back but I’d like to be prepared just in case. Its just so hard to get my head around all if this. X

  9. de laet says:

    Zelfs een paar maanden doet zooooo vreselijk pijn je gelooft in een nieuw en goed leven je kan het niet geloven maar alle teksten kloppen hij in mijn geval dan houd alleen van zichzelf.Waarom heb ik dan nog verdriet?

  10. Bec says:

    I was with one of these horrible ppl for 2 years. Best way out after goin back to him 12 times was an avo after he hit me. Get an avo which involves no contact of any kind wat so ever! They can’t return!!! They can’t suck u back in! Iv been almost 4 months now an I still hav my bad days but it’s going away. He tries still to get at me threw other ways but there has been zero contact since the day he was arrested! It’s a hard thing to do but ur sanity is worth more an the avo makes him not contact u an if he does he goes to jail so either way u are rid of him.

  11. Vanessa says:

    Ive been in a relationship with a 36 year old N and Im 28. He makes me feel crazy! Im starting to become like him, which scares me. We are constantly off and on, I always go back. But this time Im gonna stay strong! FCK N People, soul suckers.

  12. Shelly says:

    I was in a relationship with an N for 8 months. He was one of the strangest people I have ever known, but fortunately I found Sam Vaknin’s you tube videos. Thanks to the information I was able to research, I learned a huge amount of information on the subject. Fortunately I was able to use this information and apply it to my situation. You are right. They are emotional suckers and don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves. Unfortunately for him, I threw him out of my apartment, changed my phone number, and moved back to where I lived before I met him. I know one things for sure! I haven’t given him a second thought in more than 6 months, but I am sure he will think about me every day for the rest of his life. Awh, sweet justice.

    • Mrsee7 says:

      Actually… he won’t. He will not think of you at all. At least not in an empathetic, normal, human type of way.
      thinking about you would require some sort of emotional connection or human reaction … he’s not human. Narcissists are like aliens… parasitic aliens. They don’t think like you and I.
      soooo…. if he does think of you, it will be in a very distorted, surreal, evil kind of way. A version of you that’s not at all close to who you really are.
      Stay away. no contact.
      You know you’re over REALLY OVER a narcissist when you stop trying to put yourself in HIS SHOES (human trait… he’s an alien), when you stop trying to guess what they’re thinking, why they do what they do, why they think they way they think, etc…
      you will never understand because you are HUMAN. they aren’t. they denied themselves the ability to feel a long time ago. they voluntarily gave up their humanity. the reasons were probably valid at the time they dissociated. they are fossils now. zombies. monsters. aliens. you pick the best symbol. no ONE can heal them or save them.

      • Melissa says:

        That is so interesting. That a traumatic experience happened at one time to them and they dissociated themselves. They denied their self the ability to feel, so now they have no feelings in their relationships. Hurting people for attention and gratification.

        • Mrsee7 says:

          precisely. that’s the trap. empathetic people will try to justify their way by looking at their past. truth is… they prob don’t even remember why or what led them to be who they are now… truly cruel people. again, best approach, NO CONTACT. that is the true way to dignity, healing, inner peace and ultimately genuine, long-lasting happiness. not an easy road, but it’s the only TRUE road. good luck to all.

    • Mrsee7 says:

      oh and good job for dumping him and staying away! courageous indeed :)

    • Fern says:

      Hi Shelley

      Did your ex try to contact you after the break-up? All the articles I read say that we should expect contact, but I haven’t heard from my narcissistic ex since I ended the relationship three months ago.

      I changed my number immediately. He may have tried to text or call. I’ll never know. I also stopped going to the support group we both attended (and where I met him – it’s his hunting ground.)

      When we were together, I told him that I’d done NC with previous exes. He said I wouldn’t have to do that with him because he wouldn’t stick around where he’s not wanted.

      I think he knows me well enough to know that I would only change my numbers when I’d reached the point of no return. Also I think that in his mind, not contacting me proves that he is better than my other exes, who had to be silenced.

      But maybe I’m wrong, maybe he will contact me at some point. I’d like to hear if your ex contacted you. It sounds like you sent a very clear message. Is that what it takes? If so, then hopefully I will not hear from my ex again. I’ve stuck rigidly to NC.

      Thanks in advance.

      Fern.

      • karin says:

        He will contact you once he sees you have moved on. Do not give in he

        will repeat the same old behavior just to finish what he started. Continue

        to be strong and be happy!

  13. CJ says:

    It’s interesting that the comments of all these people dealing with narcissists are dealing with men older than them. I am 24 and have recently been a victim of a 36 year old narcissist. He already had a new victim lined up before I figured out and left. This is helpful, thank you. I have been responding to him, but I now understand why it’s only hurting me by giving in to his pathetic attempts of validation.

    • Renay says:

      I think a lot of younger women get in relationships with older narcissistic men because many of them look younger than their age and many, my friend in particular lies about his age. Oh yeah, he lies about f****** everything! For those of you who keep falling back into their clutches, please keep reading on line. It took me a few months of reading articles and blogs to realize what a monster he is. I was a widow and he strolled into my life manipulating me for nearly a year. I bought things for him, spent all my time with him, and allowed my life to revolve around him. Just as he planned. He was engaged when we met & I had no idea. He keeps all of his associations separate, disappears with no explanation, and lies lies lies! I think he hates women and only has sex with women he sees as disposable whores because he cannot understand sex goes with love. It’s funny how everyone who meets him thinks he is gay. I think he is so obsessed with everyone being attracted to him he doesn’t care if nits a man or a woman!
      Remember, everything I have read says don’t walk away from these people run like he’ll and don’t look back!

  14. Paul says:

    I find it strange when a woman is hurt and dumped by a male partner the male is subject to being called a narcissist . So what this artical states and others if a man tries to fight to get his partner back he is a narcissist but if he tries to move on and show no hurt he is also a narcissist. It’s mostly females replying to all these types of articles so really it’s only males to have this behaviour patten ?! If you look at the thread it seems the females are angry ! I feel it’s misleading

    • Andy says:

      I think you’re reading a bit too B&W into this. It’s not a matter of what but how and why. My ex-N wanted me to stay for reasons beyond my comprehension. If you truly wanted to fight for you relationship you do it and try your everything to save it, to fix it, to make the other feel good, you show you mean what you say and take responsibility too. Not to take hurting immediatly to new heights after you’ve given a chance and blame it onto the other.

      What puzzles me in these articles/blogs though is that far too often the N example is a he. Do recognize N’s exist in both genders.

    • Luscious says:

      Paul,
      I can really see where the problem here lies. Men who are victims of Narcissistic Women usually find it embarrassing to comment or make mention of the abuse.
      I was raised by a Malignant Narcissistic Mother who suffered every symptom on the list and more. I consider her a N Sociopath, and believe me when I say that from my own experience with Ns, My mother is the absolute worst and there is no N man that I know of who could compare to my mother’s viciousness and manipulations. I also have 2 sisters, a brother and a niece who are full blown Ns. They are all defective, but again I will point out that the women are far worst than my N brother.
      My last boyfriend is a Narcissist Alcoholic and even though he hurt me, I find myself more angry at my mother’s abuse than my ex.
      When I compare the 2, my mother wins in the most vile and evil person on earth!
      I am also grateful for her sickness because it helped me to react accordingly with my ex N and was able to get out with my dignity, and teach him not to mess with me. I set my boundary and cut my losses early. I was able to see the signs clearly after a year of his abuse, “something” was so familiarly “wrong”…in the same way I felt with my sick MN Monster of a Mother.
      I found my own power within and put a stop to the abuse by involving law enforcement, I had him thrown in jail and from there the judge established NO CONTACT which gave me the peace to rebuild my life without him.
      8 months later I am living a much better, more peaceful life and he slyly has found a way to get in touch with me. We have 2 young children together, a 1 yr old and a 3 mo. old.
      I will never use the “norm” to assess my situation with this freak of nature. I do not care that we have children in common, since he has a horrible disorder and abuses alcohol, and he also pleaded guilty to assaulting me while I was pregnant.
      If my children never know their N Father, then more power to me in raising them. “Never let your guard down” and do not fall for their pretentious games…..I was emotionally tortured and physically abused by my N mother for over 30 yrs of my life, and believe me, NO CHILD should have to deal with an N parent EVER!

    • alice says:

      @ Paul, I wasn’t dumped, he wouldn’t have dared have left his woman who he totally controlled on every level.I was with him for 12 years, suffered extreme abuse..of all types from him, he wasn’t getting any better, only worse. He never would except any blame for anything, including cheating, beating me and raping me.He never fought to get me to come back because he wanted to make something good happen out of all the bs, NO..he wanted me to kiss his ass, do whatever he said..and not ever think he was wrong about anything.This is not normal behavior, it’s not a normal relationship..he’s not normal! Fighting for something you believe in, or love..that’s one thing, fighting for control…that’s another! He still hasn’t gotten over me leaving him, done some very low down rotten things to me..trying to get ppl to think of me as a nothing. That’s because he was in such fear of ppl finding out about him, his evil mind..and hands! he even tried to have me put in a mental hospital, by the judge! It was a horrible split-up.I ignored him, totally..but he wouldn’t stop..and still continues to this day.I should have known something was way wrong with him in the very beginning, he always spoke of how he was getting DSS to investigate some old GF..always hurting someone, because they had to levae his abusive ass! he certainly doesn’t take a break-up normal, no..it has to be something done about it..she has to pay for it! BTW, he demanded that i go back to him in a letter.Tried to tell me that it was all my fault, I was really messing up by leaving! Until you have dealt with someone with a NPD, you don’t know how these ppl do things..they are not normal! When you express to someone you are very unhappy, tired of the abuse..and no longer have any love for them…and want to split-up and all they can do is tell you “you are gonna do what I say, what i tell you to do, you aren’t going anywhere, because i said so!”After 12 years of pure hell with that man, no..I no longer loved him at all by the time I left him..I hated everything about him, I let him know this to! Why would he want to be with someone who hated him, hated the sight of him? Because he could still make me do his will, or most of it anyways. I know what it’s like to live with someone with NPD, it’s awful! Maybe the word is thrown around too much,not all break ups are because of narcissistic abuse, but too many are these days! When we can learn about certain types of behaviors, we can have a heads up and not get overly involved or too attached to them.I knew something was very wrong with him, but hadn’t heard of NPD..until 12 years after leaving him and divorcing his sorry ass! i hope now that i would see some of these traits earlier on in ppl, so I know how to handle myself around them.His violent rages, at home and at anywhere..were to just break me down, embarres me so I would feel even worse about myself and to give himself more authority over me.That is not love, that’s abuse…he wouldn’t leave the marriage..i had to.When he started trying to contact me, to demand my return…having a catholic priest call and tell me “my place was with my husband!”That was his way of getting pity from ppl, his wife had left him..poor thing..he’s such a good husband why would she do that? He told anyone who would listen, that i had left him because i was on drugs, had a boyfriend..or whatever sounded bad.That’s not a very good way of winning your love interest back is it? The way he conducted himself after i left him, well..it showed his mental problems clearly. I never even thought of going back to him, i was done ..had enough of him! i was his narcissistic supply..and he needed someone to tell him how wonderful he was, how great he was..it wasn’t going to be me!

  15. Lopez Mara says:

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  17. Haley says:

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  18. Louise says:

    I read a great article that taked about “no reaction” if no contact was not an option

  19. sarah says:

    After 10 years relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls friends several times but every time he would say that he love me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But after l contacted Dr.okaya of spell cast temple he cast a love spell and after a day, my boyfriend started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we now have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr. okaya of okayaspellhelp@yahoo.com helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before

  20. jessical says:

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  21. isabel says:

    After 20 years of marriage to an N, I have been emotionally exhausted. Physical and emotionally abused, and I couldn’t leave because I lived on an isolated island and had no money. He controlled everything. By a stroke of luck, we ended up having to move to a city. I got a full time job. The abuse continued but I bought 2 doorknobs with key locks. One for my bedroom, one for my study. I live in those 2 rooms. If I divorce he will leave me with nothing just like he did his last wife (bankrupt). I have my own bank account, I have a JOINT mortgage-free home. When the time comes, I’ll leave him or I’ll wait till he dies (his father died about 8 years older than he currently is) and joint assets will be mine. I would have left early on if I could have, but now I’m just playing it smart, protecting myself, getting out of HIM all I can and having patience. I will win in the end.

  22. lady says:

    Do they ever break up with you but demand that you not tell anyone that you guys broke up? And they still waby you to live with them?

    • peter says:

      yup. mine broke up with me, but asked me to redesign her tramp stamp tattoo, and if she could still come by for sex since she “was so aggressive she didnt attract any males at the moment”. she also hid it from her parents (who actually initiated the breakup by banning me from her house) and from her friends. ow and of course she kept saying she loved me. she is a total liar and a fraud.

  23. Ash says:

    Things have been very rough for the last few months with me and my girlfriend. We have been dating for the last 4.5 years and we’ve had our share of issues. While I always thought it was a conflict of personalities, I have recently come to realise that I might have NPD which has been the trigger to all our issues. I feel devastated as I think she was a wonderful person and I messed things up so badly. Finding out that that I have NPD has been an eyeopener and I have been seeking professional help for it. My girlfriend says she has had enough and wants to leave me. I’m really upset as what we had was really special and it breaks my heart to know it will end. What I want to know is if anyone has any knowledge of NPDs who get to realisation and how that could possibly impact their behaviour and lives? I don’t think I’m a terrible person, I did not ask for a disorder that does not feel emotions. HELP!

  24. williams says:

    My name is williams and I base in uk…“My life is back!!! After 1 years of Broken marriage, my wife left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called High Priest OLORUN which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 7 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped High Priest OLORUN ‘s e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. High Priest OLORUN is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try High Priest OLORUN anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here’s his contact:{OLORUNLOVESPELLHOME@gmail.com

  25. lilly says:

    Am Lilly from Texas USA i want to share my great experience to the whole world about how i got my lover back to my arms after we departed for 4 years i never taught that i could have him back in my life until i met this great man named Dr MAXI OWOLABI who showed me true powers of spell, Me and Larry Broke up 4 years ago ever since i have not been my self although i have been in several relationship i have not seen who is as good as Larry, so ever since i have been thinking about him, so i had to tell my friend about how i feel for Larry that i wish if i can have him back to my arms, so that was when my friend told me that she was reading a love review the other day when she saw how somebody commented on how she got her lover back with the help of a man named Dr MAXI OWOLABI. So that was how i told her to show me the site were she read the reviews so that was how she showed me and i saw so many reviews about this great man how he helped a lot of people even the sick, without wasting anytime immediately i collected his contact and called him and told him what i want, he just laughed over it and told me not to worry that he will come back to me, so that was how i waited to see what will happen, so surprisingly i got a call from Larry. i was like this is a dream, but later realized that it was reality, Larry was crying and pleading on the phone that he missed me a lot that i should come back to his life, i was like is this real? until he came to my house and went on his knees pleading to me that i should forgive him, so that was how we got united again with the help of great DR MAXI OWOLABI, and now we are happily married, thanks be onto Dr MAXI OWOLABI for what he has done for me, if you need his help you can contact him through owolabilovespell@hotmail.com o his phone number which is +2347059144152 and you will definitely testify of his great help and powers.

  26. Molly says:

    Hello my name is Molly, my life is completely back!!! After 2 years of marriage, my husband left me and our kid for his ex wife. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I was told by a friend of mine how a special spell caster helped her to solve her relationship problems with ease, she gave me this spell caster’s mail dr.sanuspiritualtemple@gmail.com for me to contact him and that my husband will surely come back to me. Only 48 hours after I contacted DOCTOR SANU my husband came back to me and begged me for another chance and that he regrets ever leaving me and our son or his ex wife. I was shocked because I haven’t seen or heard from him for more than 3 months. I don’t know the word I can use to describe this powerful spell caster DOCTOR SANU but I bet you don’t want to miss this spell caster’s help, he is such a blessing to earth.

  27. Gerene Tokioka says:

    I never. Knew what a NPD was until just now. My current ex as of today just broke up with me. He’s always been the controlling type. It’s either. His way or nothing. And claimed that of he doesn’t get his way, its going to be big trouble. For 4 yrs I thought it was me. I’d hide the ongoing relationship and thought if I’d change I could make this work. I truly believed this was my knight in shining armor. After this God shot of scrolling through the internet, I now know what he is. Thank you Jesus. Now that I know what this is I will seek help as soon as possible.

    • Mrsee7 says:

      Good luck to you.
      to truly understand Narcs check out Sam VAknin on youtube. He’s a narcissist himself so he’s an expert, but limit your consumption of his stuff to the very basics. the last thing you want is to be listening to another Narc for a prolonged period of time. after you understand the basics, transition to Melanie Tonia Evans. Check out her Narc Abuse Recovery Program. this is not a SPAM post like the one below. she is truly an expert and healer when it comes to this stuff.
      good luck to you. this is one of the worst experiences you’ll go through in life, but if you survive and overcome it, you will be amazed at how incredibly strong and wise you will become. it takes TIME… but it’s TOTALLY DOABLE. I’m living proof of it. good luck to all!

  28. GRACE says:

    I was in a 2 year relationship with an amazing man. We were very much

    in love and talked about the future often. As time went on, I started

    to have many insecurities, fears and doubts about his love for me and

    my attitude and moods began to change as a result. We started fighting

    often and after six months of a rocky patch between us, he ended

    things.I was completely devastated and heartbroken. I couldn’t function

    or make sense of life or what had happened between us. After a month of

    feeling like my world was over I started to look for hope anywhere I

    could find it. I started searching the internet for stories that were

    similar to my own and came across many sites referencing the Law of

    Attraction. Having read The Secret in the past I immediately went to my

    bookshelf and read it again, cover to cover. It was then I realized

    that all my negative thinking had contributed to the demise of my

    relationship but I had hope that it could be undone. The principles of

    The Secret always resonated with me but I never truly applied it to my

    life.I started keeping a journal and daily I would write things like
    “I am so happy and grateful now that we are in love again”. I put

    together a vision board with pictures of us when we were happy and also

    cards and letters he had written. Before I went to bed every night I

    would send him love, light, and all the warmth I could muster, although

    sometimes it was very difficult. I knew in my heart that we were meant

    to be together and focused on remaining happy and confident in my

    convictions. I noticed that as time passed, I truly felt grateful and

    positive every day. The sadness I once felt had turned into hope and it

    was easy to manifest lots of the other things that I wanted in my

    life.until i meet Dr Wicca online who gave me four days automaton that

    my ex will come back, i never believed him on his spell.not when my ex

    came back just after the days that Dr Wicca said.my ex came back

    begging for forgiveness and now we in love as never before.met him on

    his email:(traditionalspelltemple@hotmail.com) and enjoy your

    relationship and marriage.

  29. C says:

    Wow!! This is so spot on! Thank you so much for writing this. I’ve read a lot on narcissism since I got involved with this man & I can say from personal experience, this seems to be exactly how they are. Sad but true. It’s so hard when you still care so deeply the person & have to keep reminding yourself of what he is capable of so you can keep up the no contact. Recognize the initial signs of a narc & steer clear!

  30. Flora says:

    Dear friends, I am from united states i had a problem with my husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, i was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me. until a friend of mine Walt Pen told me about a spell caster who helped him in the same problem too. i emailed Prophet Clark the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. we have two kids together and we are happy. thanks to Prophet Clark for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work the great spell caster. email address him on :prophetclark@blumail.org

  31. Anne says:

    I am glad that I found this post..im in the middle of getting out of the relationship..all your comments somehow ease my pain …Thanks to the writer and everyone who made a comment..wish me luck guys!!!

  32. Samantha says:

    It’s amazing to find posts like these. Especially when you’ve just recently left a Narcissistic partner. I know a lot of times that word is thrown around too much to describe men that really aren’t narcissistic. However I truly believe I was in a relationship with one for 6 years. The relationship consisted of me basically being his puppet. I had to do exactly what he requested. If I didn’t I was subjected to emotional abuse that eventually began to turn physical. He never complimented me, yet got upset when others did. Rarely said anything nice about me yet pointed out my flaws and constantly put me down and call me names everyday. When I would try to leave he would tell me I was a horrible mother. That my kids deserved better than me and he would do everything in his power to take them away from me. I believed. Eventually I would find out that he would contact prostitutes. When I would question him he would tell me that I was crazy and insane and that’s why no one would ever want me. He also constantly tried to meet new women. Then once the relationship was great he would leave me. While he was with them I would have peace. He would leave me alone. However one the relationships ended he would revert back to harassing me and doing anything to sabotage any new relationships. Leaving is hard but it can be done. If there are kids involved on communicate when absolutely needed. Keep the conversations strictly about the kids. The longer you stay away the easier it gets!

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