What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Welcome to this guide to Narcissistic abuse. With the help of this guide, you will understand completely what Narcissistic abuse is, what it does and how to recover from it.

I will show you examples of narcissistic abuse, books you can read, and even songs you can listen to. But let’s start with a good definition.

Definition Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse done by a Narcissist to someone they have a relationship with.

Continuous manipulative behavior, lying, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail can severely damage the person in the relationship physically, mentally, and cognitively.

Narcissistic Abuse can be from a “loving” partner, a mother, father or other family member, and anyone who you are close with and has somehow influence and control over your life.

What Are The Signs of Narcissistic Abuse in the Relationship?

#1 Gaslighting

#2 Smear Campaigns

#3 Narcissistic Rage

#4 Sexual Abuse

#5 Emotional Abuse

#6 Projection

#7 Mirroring

#8 Lack of empathy

#9 lying

#10 silent treatment

#11 Love bombing

#12 Financial Abuse

#13 Hoovering and Hoovering Examples

Signs of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?

Physical Symptoms

  • Headaches
  • Digestion Problems
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Muscle tension/pain
  • Skin Conditions
  • Sleep problems
  • Reduces immune system

Emotional Symptoms

  • Low self-esteem
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • stress
  • Guilt
  • Obsessive Compulsive behavior
  • Irritability

Cognitive Symptoms

  • Memory Problems
  • Concentration Problems
  • Unwanted and Intrusive Thoughts

Read more about Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome in our extensive guide about this topic.

The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle

The Narcissist often perpetrates repetitive behavior when it comes to their dating life. The people Narcissists date with are a reflection of their ego.

You might be a model, a very successful person, a smart athlete, or accomplish other important things to the narcissist. They see you and want you, and that is how the cycle of abuse begins.

See also  Narcissists In The Family

Stages of Narcissistic Abuse


The narcissist idealizes you in the beginning of the relationship. They show their love and appreciation through something called Love bombing. A warning sign might be that you feel the relationship is going fast.


After the Idealization phase comes the Devaluation phase. They no longer see you as a perfect being they need to seduce and conquer.

They are losing interest in the relationship and start using their manipulation tactics to get what they want and put you down/


The Narcissist discards their partner when they no longer get what they need in their relationship. As overwhelming as they came into your life, now they disappear and ignore you completely.

The Continuous Cycle

The discard is not always final. When you feel better and want to continue with your life, they can show up on your doorstep, and the love bombing starts again.

Narcissistic Abuse Quiz

There are some quizzes online you can try out to see if you are suffering from Narcissistic Abuse. Remember that these quizzes are no replacement for a real diagnosis done by a therapist.

Willowlifecoach: Do I have Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?

Marriage.com: Are You Suffering From Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?

Feelingishealing.co.uk: Narcissistic Abuse Quiz

Psychologyquestions.com: Am I Being Emotionally Abused by a Narcissist?

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

The 6 Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

How do you move on after the abuse? Where do you start.

6 Ways To Stop the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse

What if you are still in an abusive relationship and you want out? This article will show you how to stop the abuse and move on with your life.

See also  Do Narcissists Like Spending Time Alone?

Online Therapy For narcissistic Abuse

BetterHelp Online Therapy- BetterHelp is a website offering affordable therapy online

Do Mental- DoMental is another website offering online therapy

Online-Therapy.comOnline-Therapy specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which works best for Depression and Anxiety

Amwell- Amwell is an online platform where you can choose a healthcare professional specialising in various mental health problems. If you have insurance, there is a chance your costs might be lower.

Talkspace- Talkspace allows therapy through messaging, phone or live chat.

Alternative Healing

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Programs:

Headspace- Headspace is a Mindfulness and Meditation app

Kim Saeed- Kim Saeed offers a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery program if you are interested in alternative healing

MelanieToniaEvans- Another alternative healing NARP program

Effects of Narcissistic Abuse on Future Relationships

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You

Dating a Narcissist can be challenging and destructive to your self-esteem. How do you recover from this relationship and how did it change you for the better and worse?

Can you Get PTSD From Narcissistic Abuse?

Research shows that the signs associated with Narcissistic Abuse are very much alike the symptoms of PTSD.

Narcissistic Abuse Support Groups

Finding a support group is an important part of recovering from Narcissistic Abuse. Your best bet is to ask your local therapist if there are any support groups you could join close to where you live.

But you could also try many online resources, like Facebook groups and other online communities and websites.

#1 The National Domestic Violence Hotline

#2 Help Within Reach

#3 I Believe Your Abuse

#4 Narcissistic Abuse Support– They have done a lot of work in finding local support groups, mainly at meetup

#5 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery- They also have a list of mainly facebook support groups

See also  List of Famous People with Narcissism

#6 Circlesup- Although I do believe this is a good resource, It comes with a price of $79 a month.

Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day

June 1 is Narcissistic abuse awareness day. You can visit their website at wnaad.com

Narcissistic Abuse Quotes

You were not Crazy, You were Abused

If You Do Right They Dismiss it, If You Do Wrong They Never Forget

Never Argue With Someone Who Believes Their Own Lies

Narcissists Are People of Many Words, But Never a Person of Their Word


You Can not Heal In the Same Place That Made You Sick


The Only Principle That Governs Their Minds is the Question ” How Do I Look?”

Haruki Murakami

Songs About Narcissistic Abuse

Who knew there were so many songs written about Narcissistic Abuse?

If you have Spotify, Emily made a playlist of 80 songs about Narcissistic abuse.

Fairytaleshadows.com also has a nice post about Narcissistic Abuse (and recovery) songs

There is also this playlist on Youtube with 14 songs for survivors of NA.

The Foundation of Music has a list of 50 songs of artists expressing their Narcissistic tendencies

Books on Narcissistic Abuse

So many books about narcissism and the following abuse make it hard to select a few good ones.

Choosing Therapy has a nice list of books that will help you understand how Narcissists think or how to break free from them.

Goodreads.com has a very big list of books about Narcissism in general.

Lifehack.org has another list I can fully agree on.

Scarymommy.com also has a list of interesting books that will help you understand what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is and how to deal and strive after abuse.

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