Welcome to this guide to Narcissistic abuse. With the help of this guide, you will understand completely what Narcissistic abuse is, what it does and how to recover from it.
I will show you examples of narcissistic abuse, books you can read, and even songs you can listen to. But let’s start with a good definition.
Definition Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse done by a Narcissist to someone they have a relationship with.
Continuous manipulative behavior, lying, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail can severely damage the person in the relationship physically, mentally, and cognitively.
Narcissistic Abuse can be from a “loving” partner, a mother, father or other family member, and anyone who you are close with and has somehow influence and control over your life.
What Are The Signs of Narcissistic Abuse in the Relationship?
#1 Gaslighting
#4 Sexual Abuse
#6 Projection
#7 Mirroring
#9 lying
#10 silent treatment
#11 Love bombing
#12 Financial Abuse
#13 Hoovering and Hoovering Examples
Signs of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?
Physical Symptoms
- Headaches
- Digestion Problems
- High Blood Pressure
- Muscle tension/pain
- Skin Conditions
- Sleep problems
- Reduces immune system
Emotional Symptoms
- Low self-esteem
- fear
- anxiety
- depression
- stress
- Guilt
- Obsessive Compulsive behavior
- Irritability
Cognitive Symptoms
- Memory Problems
- Concentration Problems
- Unwanted and Intrusive Thoughts
Read more about Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome in our extensive guide about this topic.
The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle
The Narcissist often perpetrates repetitive behavior when it comes to their dating life. The people Narcissists date with are a reflection of their ego.
You might be a model, a very successful person, a smart athlete, or accomplish other important things to the narcissist. They see you and want you, and that is how the cycle of abuse begins.
Stages of Narcissistic Abuse
Idealization
The narcissist idealizes you in the beginning of the relationship. They show their love and appreciation through something called Love bombing. A warning sign might be that you feel the relationship is going fast.
Devaluation
After the Idealization phase comes the Devaluation phase. They no longer see you as a perfect being they need to seduce and conquer.
They are losing interest in the relationship and start using their manipulation tactics to get what they want and put you down/
Discard
The Narcissist discards their partner when they no longer get what they need in their relationship. As overwhelming as they came into your life, now they disappear and ignore you completely.
The Continuous Cycle
The discard is not always final. When you feel better and want to continue with your life, they can show up on your doorstep, and the love bombing starts again.
Narcissistic Abuse Quiz
There are some quizzes online you can try out to see if you are suffering from Narcissistic Abuse. Remember that these quizzes are no replacement for a real diagnosis done by a therapist.
Willowlifecoach: Do I have Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?
Marriage.com: Are You Suffering From Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome?
Feelingishealing.co.uk: Narcissistic Abuse Quiz
Psychologyquestions.com: Am I Being Emotionally Abused by a Narcissist?
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
The 6 Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
How do you move on after the abuse? Where do you start.
6 Ways To Stop the Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse
What if you are still in an abusive relationship and you want out? This article will show you how to stop the abuse and move on with your life.
Online Therapy For narcissistic Abuse
BetterHelp Online Therapy- BetterHelp is a website offering affordable therapy online
Do Mental- DoMental is another website offering online therapy
Online-Therapy.com– Online-Therapy specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which works best for Depression and Anxiety
Amwell- Amwell is an online platform where you can choose a healthcare professional specialising in various mental health problems. If you have insurance, there is a chance your costs might be lower.
Talkspace- Talkspace allows therapy through messaging, phone or live chat.
Alternative Healing
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Programs:
Headspace- Headspace is a Mindfulness and Meditation app
Kim Saeed- Kim Saeed offers a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery program if you are interested in alternative healing
MelanieToniaEvans- Another alternative healing NARP program
Effects of Narcissistic Abuse on Future Relationships
How Dating a Narcissist Changes You
Dating a Narcissist can be challenging and destructive to your self-esteem. How do you recover from this relationship and how did it change you for the better and worse?
Can you Get PTSD From Narcissistic Abuse?
Research shows that the signs associated with Narcissistic Abuse are very much alike the symptoms of PTSD.
Narcissistic Abuse Support Groups
Finding a support group is an important part of recovering from Narcissistic Abuse. Your best bet is to ask your local therapist if there are any support groups you could join close to where you live.
But you could also try many online resources, like Facebook groups and other online communities and websites.
#1 The National Domestic Violence Hotline
#4 Narcissistic Abuse Support– They have done a lot of work in finding local support groups, mainly at meetup
#5 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery- They also have a list of mainly facebook support groups
#6 Circlesup- Although I do believe this is a good resource, It comes with a price of $79 a month.
Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day
June 1 is Narcissistic abuse awareness day. You can visit their website at wnaad.com
Narcissistic Abuse Quotes
You were not Crazy, You were Abused
If You Do Right They Dismiss it, If You Do Wrong They Never Forget
Never Argue With Someone Who Believes Their Own Lies
Narcissists Are People of Many Words, But Never a Person of Their Word
Schmiggy
You Can not Heal In the Same Place That Made You Sick
Ourmindlife
The Only Principle That Governs Their Minds is the Question ” How Do I Look?”
Haruki Murakami
Songs About Narcissistic Abuse
Who knew there were so many songs written about Narcissistic Abuse?
If you have Spotify, Emily made a playlist of 80 songs about Narcissistic abuse.
Fairytaleshadows.com also has a nice post about Narcissistic Abuse (and recovery) songs
There is also this playlist on Youtube with 14 songs for survivors of NA.
The Foundation of Music has a list of 50 songs of artists expressing their Narcissistic tendencies
Books on Narcissistic Abuse
So many books about narcissism and the following abuse make it hard to select a few good ones.
Choosing Therapy has a nice list of books that will help you understand how Narcissists think or how to break free from them.
Goodreads.com has a very big list of books about Narcissism in general.
Lifehack.org has another list I can fully agree on.
Scarymommy.com also has a list of interesting books that will help you understand what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is and how to deal and strive after abuse.