Narcissists hate seeing others fly. If they get wind of a fraction of your dream, be prepared for their cruel and callous intent to destroy it any way they can.
Why do narcissists do this?
Because they hate seeing other people happy and most of all…
Narcissists hate your success.
The only success they are excited by, is their own. So when it isn’t happening for them, they will try their very best to sabotage all the good things you’ve got going on.
They don’t just come along with a wrecking ball and smash your dreams to pieces though – no – they are much more subtle; manipulatively picking apart your happiness. The further away your dreams become, the larger the narcissist’s smile.
So… exactly how does a narcissist destroy your dreams?
I’m here for you, with everything you need to know.
#1 Future Faking
Having your potential limited by another person is truly devastating. To me, it is one of the most terrible things a narcissist can do, and it can all start with future faking.
To future fake is to promise a world full of your dreams coming true, only to be let down repeatedly.
The narcissist future fakes by telling you that you’ll get what you want in the future, so they can get something they want right now.
What can that look like?
I want exactly the same things you do. I want to get married and settle down, and I can’t wait to have all of that with you.
It’s what you want to hear, and you get to hear it – what’s the problem?
The problem is that the narcissist intends to never really provide those things for you. They stop short at the promise, because they know their words will ignite hope in you, and keep you hanging on and waiting for more.
This, for many people who end up in long-term narcissistic relationships, can be nothing but many, many wasted years waiting for the happy ending, only to never see it come true.
#2 They Manipulate You Out of Your Dreams
Really? You want to travel? Don’t you see it as nothing but a waste of money? We could be buying a house together and setting up a home.
Do you think you’re actually a good enough writer to make it? I don’t know if something more customer-focused would be better for you, after all, you’re great with people.
Man, that second one especially pulls the manipulation card out. What the narcissist is very good at doing, is taking away your dreams or goals and replacing them with what they think are far more suitable for you (for them, really).
The trouble is, they do it in such a manner that they almost think they’re complimenting you in the process, so you don’t see the control they’re attempting to exert.
They want you a certain way, living a certain life, and if they have to talk you out of it, they will do so sweetly, so you don’t notice.
Luckily now, you can.
#3 The Self-Doubt Takes Over
We all have insecurities, and I know I am included in that. The difference is, those who are not swayed by narcissism work on them actively, so that they become smaller and smaller.
Suppose you are in a narcissistic relationship, or even if you have a family member or friend who exudes narcissistic traits. In that case, they can get under your skin where your insecurities lie, and they can really, and I mean really play on them.
How would you be able to teach? I mean, you hate public speaking.
I can’t imagine you tolerating working for somebody. I know how impatient you can get with me. If I’m honest, I don’t think you should apply for the job.
When you want something, and it’s right there waiting for you to take it and run with it, enough self-doubt can completely derail you, and it will if the narcissist is involved, fighting your confidence with their criticism of you.
Nobody is perfect, and our insecurities should never prevent us from reaching for the stars. I know that you know that, deep down.
#4 The Narcissistic Relationship ‘Direction Change’
Fate, that’s what the narcissist will call it.
It’s fate that we met right when I was planning on traveling. Come with me, and let’s have an adventure together.
You seem lost. Fate brought us together so I can help you find your way.
No. Fate is not involved in somebody else’s meddling. The meddling is being created so that your dreams get lost, so you can do nothing but accompany the narcissist through their dreams.
Where are you in all of this? What happened to what you wanted? Do you even remember at this point what your dreams were?
Being limited to living life vicariously through the narcissist is an insult to anybody who dares to dream, and that includes you.
#5 The Clipped Wing Effect
When our dreams are presented to us in our minds and hearts, there should be no reason not to give them the time and energy to become reality.
Dreams give us meaning, and we want to fly with them when they appear.
The narcissist will do whatever it takes to clip your wings so you stay forever grounded. They will convince you that your dreams are nothing but a wish or illusion and that ‘life doesn’t really work out the way we want it to, so get used to it.’
When we believe the narcissist, we believe the limitations they place upon us. We believe what they say when they tell us to do something else instead, because they don’t want us to succeed.
It’s up to you to see through the manipulation and work out that happy ending you deserve.
Speaking of which…
There is a Happy Ending For You!
Of course there is! Why wouldn’t there be?
Happy endings are completely possible for everyone.
It does not matter if one year or forty years have passed since you fell under the limiting spell of the narcissist. What matters is right now, and the choices you make from today onwards are yours for the taking.
Being scared of your dreams comes from your imprinted belief that you are not destined for great things, but you are.
So go get them!
