If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you probably know that narcissism takes a toll on romance. Narcissistic behaviors can lead to the downfall of a relationship.
Below are ten ways narcissists destroy relationships with their spouses or significant others.
Showing Complete Lack of Empathy
Some degree of empathy is required for a healthy relationship. When we empathize with our partners, we can understand and comfort their struggles.
Unfortunately, narcissists lack empathy for others, including their partners. This means they won’t have room for your feelings when you’re upset or hurt. Don’t expect them to comfort you, even if they’re the one causing your pain.
Taking Advantage of Your Kindness
People with narcissistic personality disorder are willing to take advantage of others if it means they gain something from it. Exploitative behavior is one of the diagnostic criteria for this personality disorder.
When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, they will repeatedly take advantage of your kindness. They will ask for frequent factors, borrow money without returning it, and even use your status, such as your job or role in the community, to advance their own interests.
Over time, you’ll feel used, abused, and taken for granted. See, the narcissist doesn’t care about returning any of the favors you’ve paid them. So, you’ll be left in a relationship where you’ve been taken advantage of while receiving little to nothing in return.
Completely Exhausting You
A narcissist will demand much of your time and energy during a relationship. They expect you to meet all of their demands, meaning you’ll be required to drop what you’re doing to cater to them.
A narcissist will find it to be inconceivable that you would ever turn down a request or fail to do what they ask of you. After putting up with this for a while, you’ll begin to feel completely exhausted from juggling all of the narcissist’s demands.
No matter how hard you try to keep up, you will never be able to satisfy all of the narcissist’s demands.
Frequent Put-Downs
Narcissists struggle with jealousy, and they’re even envious of their partners. They don’t want you to feel too good about yourself so that they will put you down frequently.
You can expect name-calling and any other insult under the sun during arguments. These putdowns will begin to wear on you. Eventually, your self-esteem will suffer, and you won’t be able to trust your narcissistic partner to treat you the way you deserve.
Acts of Infidelity
Narcissists are known to be cheaters, and many of them are guilty of serial infidelity. This is because a narcissistic person requires nearly constant attention and admiration.
Even if you work tirelessly to shower the narcissist with attention, it will never be enough to fulfill their needs. This means they’ll seek attention elsewhere, ultimately leading to infidelity.
Unfortunately, because the narcissist lacks empathy, they don’t care that cheating on you is hurtful. They are only concerned about their own needs for external validation.
Constantly Reminding You Of Their Superiority
Narcissists view themselves as superior to others, and they will be sure to remind you that they are more successful, attractive, and intelligent than you are.
If you experience success or meet one of your goals, they’ll be sure to tell you how they’ve done the same thing, but only better. They may even minimize your successes, telling you your achievements aren’t a big deal.
Because of their superiority complex, you will feel a complete lack of support from your narcissistic partner, and you may even feel as if you aren’t worthy of love.
Bouts of Rage
Narcissists like things to be exactly their way and don’t like to be questioned. If you refuse to comply with the narcissist’s demands, or you question their superiority in any way, they are likely to act out in rage.
Narcissistic rage can involve screaming, shouting, and verbal abuse, or even acts of physical aggression. It can come on suddenly in response to the most minor slight.
For example, if the narcissist feels you aren’t giving them the respect or attention they deserve, they may lash out, even if you had no intent to hurt their feelings.
Frequent bouts of rage can leave you fearful and even traumatized, and you may not feel safe in your partner’s presence.
Showing No Consideration for Your Desires
Narcissists are self-centered, meaning that they aren’t particularly concerned with your needs. In a healthy relationship, partners compromise and consider each other’s needs and preferences when making decisions.
This isn’t how things go in a relationship with a narcissist. Every decision will revolve around the narcissist’s needs and desires while you fade away into the background.
This means you’ll probably give up your hobbies and interests in favor of what the narcissist wants. Over time, you’ll feel like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship.
Isolating You From Others
Because narcissists are jealous, they won’t be too fond of you spending time with friends and family. They might even convince you that your loved ones are bad people, so you won’t want to spend time with them.
A narcissist also needs all of your time and attention so you can fulfill their needs for admiration. Spending time with friends and family would prevent you from meeting the narcissist’s needs, so they have a pretty strong motivation to isolate you.
This damages the relationship because it’s important to maintain outside friendships and interests, even when in a committed partnership. As the relationship with a narcissist goes on, you’ll likely realize that you’ve given up most friendships for the narcissist.
Controlling Behavior
Narcissism typically comes with controlling behavior, and several reasons exist. First, a narcissist feels that they are entitled to your time and energy. Rather than allowing you to maintain your autonomy, they will exert control over how you spend your time, because they feel entitled to do so.
Second, a narcissist is inherently jealous, meaning they won’t want you to spend time with other people. They may even worry that you will be unfaithful if you’re out of their sight for too long.
All of this adds up to controlling behaviors, which never lead to success in a relationship. In fact, in most cases, controlling behavior is a symptom of an abusive relationship.
What All of This Means for Your Relationship
The behaviors above are toxic for a relationship, and they typically lead to the downfall of a partnership with a narcissist. Over time, you’ll notice that the relationship is entirely one-sided, with you going to great lengths to please the narcissist while they do little to make you happy in return.
This relationship will be mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. You might even find yourself trapped in the relationship because each time you try to leave, they promise to change, only to return to their abusive behaviors quickly.
Unless your narcissistic partner is willing to seek professional support to help them choose healthier behaviors, it’s unlikely this relationship will ever meet your needs.
