When you trust someone, you believe them when they say they will keep your promises and be sincere with your secrets.
When it comes to narcissists – you can scrap all of that. They don’t keep your secrets, nor are they even remotely sincere.
They tend to trap people because they put on a cloak and mask to disguise their covert tactics while painting on an understanding smile for you.
Don’t fall for it.
The reasons why you shouldn’t trust a narcissist don’t begin and end with that cloak and mask – in fact – that’s just the beginning.
#1 They Lack Maturity
You can’t expect anyone to seal trust if they lack the emotional maturity necessary to establish and maintain that kind of relationship with you.
Their immaturity means they cannot connect with anyone on a deep level because they don’t know how to.
Every way they operate tends to sit on the shallowest surface, so expecting them to listen to your problems and help you through your struggles with trusting information is a huge no-no.
#2 They Cannot Keep Secrets
Would you trust a three-year-old with your deepest, darkest secrets? Well, they’d probably do a better job than the narcissist in your life, that’s for sure.
Too many people fail to see the narcissists for who they really are until they’ve been hurt or disregarded by them – only then are lessons learned.
If you have information the narcissist can use against you, or gain attention by telling others – they won’t hesitate to put your name out there and tell anybody who will listen.
Keep your secrets locked to your heart!
#3 They Will Drop You
Don’t for a single second think you have a long-lasting friend in a narcissist (unless of course, you spend your life doing everything they say and putting up with their criticism and ridicule).
A narcissist will drop you the second somebody else comes along with a better and stronger source of supply.
Supply to the narcissist means getting compliments, having things done for them, always being at their beck and call, and never putting themselves before their egotistical friend.
If they find someone better, you will be yesterday’s news, which leaves you nothing but high and dry.
#4 Lies
If you haven’t had a call from a friend or family member yet asking you a question that came right out of left field, then you just wait. Narcissists will elongate the truth or plain lie to others about you, and it will build nothing but a false view of you.
This is bothersome to those on the receiving end, and you’ll want to stand up for yourself and justify the wrongdoing, but it’ll get you nowhere.
Narcissists are incredibly convincing people, and you stand little chance of changing people’s opinion of you once they’ve had the lies passed to them.
#5 Stress Will Overtake Everything
Stress is a consequence of trusting a narcissist. Stress is also entering our lives more and more, and we should be doing everything we can to lessen it, but this is impossible when looking at ways in which a narcissist dismantles your hope of them being loyal to you.
Giving them the chance to prove themselves as a good, trusting person is going to end in tears of stress for you, and that can overtake everything else going on in your life.
#6 Thrown Back in Your Face
The presence of trust can disappear the moment the narcissist throws your secrets back in your face. They do this to guilt or shame you or remind you that you harbor secrets you don’t want other people to know.
They will also expect something in return for keeping your trust, so if you let them down, they won’t hesitate to remind you of everything they’ve done for you.
Nothing is unconditional in the narcissist’s mind.
#7 Your Struggles Will Be Laid Bare
When you look for trust in a narcissist, they will enjoy the idea of being in control of something you’ve asked of them.
They enjoy – almost gloat – because they know they’ve reached a point with you where you feel they are a good enough person to enlist into your trusted circle, and that’s the biggest mistake you can make.
If you have certain struggles that are the catalyst for this trust – they will be laid bare before you, reminding you of your flaws. Narcissists love doing this because it makes them feel better knowing that you aren’t perfect either.
#8 Empty Promises
“Trust me!”
“Hey, what’s wrong, you can trust me.”
“I promise, I won’t tell anybody.”
Where have we all heard this before?
Yes – from the empty heart of a narcissist, who promises you can trust them and they will help or support you through whatever it is you need.
Words are not matched with actions to them because all they want is for you to hand power to them. Expecting them to be trusted is a power they love, but that doesn’t mean they value the content of the trust.
#9 They Will Hold You Back
Applying trust into a narcissist will hold you back. Asking and expecting things from them will permit them to do what they want with it in their own time.
Have you asked them to help you with moving? They might turn up.
Did you ask if they would be there for you if you’re unwell? They’ll be unwell too – in fact – they might even be worse than you.
You’ll be prevented from growing if you let a narcissist get too close to you, especially if that comes with expecting their trust.
#10 You’ll Be Distracted
You put your heart and soul into trusting the narcissist, and they blab on you.
They speak of you to almost anybody who will listen because it means they have a bit of an audience. As they talk about you, they will distract you to ensure you don’t find out.
Maybe they’ll do something nice for you. Perhaps you are spoiled with a surprise.
They’re coating you with their love bombing so you don’t notice them being the ones to break your trust – this keeps you hooked on believing they are a good person.
What keeps them going is that these tricks actually work. But if you can spot ways in which the narcissist in your life is suddenly being nice and kind to you, it could be because they’re pulling you away from their gossiping so you never see them as the problem.
