In a world where more and more people are being affected by narcissists, it’s hard fto imagine a type of person immune to them.
Imagine! Somebody who just shrugs and gets on with their day when confronted with toxic behavior. The true acceptance that narcissists live among us, but refusing to be drawn into their games.
Do you know anybody like this?
If you do, you want to be them; if you don’t, you still want to be one.
Can you be immune to narcissists? It’s an interesting question, and I wish I could use it to create a vaccine for (I’d be a very rich person!)
Let’s find out now—because I have a feeling you’ll be interested in the answer and will follow my advice!
Refusing to Take Anything The Narcissist Says / Does Personally
Imagine being so unbothered by the narcissist that you just do not take anything they say personally. I actually sometimes wonder if there is an element of not taking anything the narcissist says or does seriously as well – because there has to be something else going on with this too, right?
It’s this simple though. Toxic people can come and go, and they did not get confused, there was no room for self-doubt, and rumination was non-existent.
Confidence is Strong
People like this are rare, but they are usually very clear people who know what they know and love what they love. Their self-assurance is strong, and because of this, they don’t look for validation from the narcissist, so emotional and mental distance is always present.
Their Reality is Held Onto
Seeing right through the narcissist isn’t necessarily something the immune person does. It isn’t a case of, “I’ve figured you out, you egotistical thing!” No. It isn’t a moment where they consciously tell themselves they won’t tolerate it.
Instead, they somehow manage to rise above manipulation and game-play by simply remaining true to their strongly held version of reality.
Okay, that’s your version of events, but I have mine.
You do you.
Alright, I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
There’s no messing with somebody who naturally holds onto these values, and the narcissist knows that there’s no way they can manipulate anybody who is so deeply rooted in their own reality – even though I know they might initially try and give it a good go!
Not Knowing the Narcissist is a Narcissist
Getting along with everybody is something those immune to narcissism do well. It isn’t that they people please, it’s that they always seem to be able to find a good, solid common ground with whomever they encounter, and refuse to let anybody or their differences get them down.
Firmly Established Boundaries
What a great place to be in when you know your boundaries can only be moved and changed at your own will, or by your own request.
Knowing that you can immune yourself to the narcissist by rooting your own values and knowing that no amount of charm or toxic perseverance is going to shift them to suit the narcissist.
Those immune are unquestionably sure of their beliefs; nothing external will alter that.
They Don’t Let Themselves Be Abused
This is certainly not to undermine anybody who is currently or has been in the past, in the throes of abuse. Nobody willingly allows it to happen, but abuse occurs through time and manipulation, and sometimes you can be one of those people who sees abuse as a type of veil.
They see right through it from the start, hold their hands up and say, “You know what? I’m not taking part in any of this. I’m out.”
Immune people know the narcissist isn’t self-aware, and they can point the behavior out for not being right. To the narcissist, this is like constantly hitting a brick wall, because no amount of tactics work with them.
They Don’t Try to Change the Narcissist
Knowing that you can;t change the narcissist, and accepting them for who they are is a way for the immune person to in a way just leave them to get on with things.
They aren’t constantly trying to ask the narcissist to be more self-aware or to shift gears to a kinder perspective – they just shrug and say, “Well, okay, fine, you do you, and I’ll do me.”
This is a fantastic outlook to have, because it leaves a type of separation between you and the narcissist, rather than giving all you have to them and letting them do what they want with it.
“Your Issues are Not Mine”
Nice and calm, right? It doesn’t need to be during any form of conflict that somebody yells at the other, telling them to go fix themselves and their issues, but the immune person will say, “Everybody has their own stuff going on. I won’t allow myself to be affected by the traits others have within themselves.”
This is key – and I cannot stress it enough:
Other people’s issues are not yours.
This healthy attitude removes any form of personalization. You don’t blame yourself for what the narcissist says or does. You don’t let them make you feel bad because you accept their character as who they are, not what they’re trying to make you feel like.
Learn THIS from the Immune Person
- This isn’t about me, it’s about them.
- I don’t care to change that person, even if I don’t like the way they act.
- My solid character helps me do things to make me happy, even if the narcissist is trying to make me unhappy.
- I can step away if things aren’t right.
- I’m not afraid of the narcissist, and it doesn’t change how I feel about myself.
- Let them look ridiculous.
- If they start yelling, I’m out.
- Hey, if things get terrible, I will know when exactly to cut my losses.
- If you don’t want to hang out with me, that’s fine. I’m not chasing you.
- My self-worth doesn’t come from you.
- My self-esteem is not something you can create and give to me.
- I don’t need to fix you. You are who you are, I just know my limits.
- My boundaries are strong and nobody/nothing is going to alter that because I know my limits, and I am proud of them.
- I pull myself away from the problems you try to create because it isn’t in my interest to try and involve myself in unhealthy dynamics.