Narcissists have their way of saying things. They say one thing, but mean something different.
When you have been with a Narcissist, you will notice them using the same sentences frequently; you’ll learn to understand what they actually mean by it.
Here are 15 things they often say to their partners and what they actually mean by it. How many of these have you heard your partner say?
#1 “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
When a narcissist says, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way,’ they’re often dismissing your feelings instead of acknowledging their actions. It’s a tactic to deflect blame, maintaining their self-image while invalidating your emotions.
They’re not genuinely sorry for causing hurt; they’re just sorry you’re upset. Remember, it’s not a sincere apology but a manipulative ploy. Don’t let it cloud your judgment.
#2 “No one understands me like you do.”
‘No one understands me like you do’ is another common line narcissists use, a bait-and-switch tactic that makes you feel special yet serves to isolate you from others.
They’re subtly telling you that only you get them, which can make you feel uniquely bonded.
But really, they’re manipulating you into a position of exclusive emotional support, effectively cutting you off from other relationships.
#3 “You’re overreacting.”
‘You’re overreacting’ is a gaslighting tool narcissists often use to belittle your feelings and make you doubt your perception of reality.
They’re not genuinely concerned about your emotional response when they say this. They’re deflecting blame, invalidating your emotions, and gaining control.
Their real meaning? ‘Your reactions inconvenience me. Stop challenging my behavior.’ It’s not about your overreaction but their inability to handle criticism.
#4 “You’re so selfish.”
Continuing on this path of manipulation, a narcissist might accuse you of being selfish. This accusation isn’t about you, though. It’s a deflection to shift the spotlight from their selfishness. Their accusations are often confessions.
They’re trying to make you feel guilty, to control you. But remember, you’re not selfish for having needs or boundaries or refusing to indulge their unreasonable demands.
#5 “You should feel lucky to be with me.”
‘You should feel lucky to be with me’ is another common phrase narcissists use to belittle and manipulate you, giving the impression that they’re doing you a favor by simply being in your life.
This tactic is designed to make you feel inferior and indebted to them, thus enabling their control over you.
Please don’t fall for it. It’s not luck, it’s manipulation.
#6 “I don’t remember saying that.”
Often, a narcissist will deny their past statements with a dismissive ‘I don’t remember saying that,’ as a way to gaslight you and undermine your perception of reality.
It’s their tactic to evade accountability, creating doubt in your mind about what happened.
They’re not forgetting; they’re rewriting history to suit their narrative. Stand firm in your recollection. They’re manipulating, not misremembering.
#7 “Why can’t you ever do anything right?”
Belittling your abilities, the narcissist might ask, ‘Why can’t you ever do anything right?’ to undermine your confidence.
This isn’t about your competence. Their tactic keeps you in self-doubt, feeling incapable and dependent.
It’s a method to maintain control and superiority. Remember, you’re not the problem.
They’re projecting their insecurities on you. Stand your ground, and don’t let their words define your worth.
#8 “I never said/did that.”
Shifting their narrative to suit their needs, narcissists may deny their actions or words by stating, ‘I never said/did that.’
It’s a manipulative tactic, gaslighting you into doubting your memory. They evade responsibility. Don’t let them.
Trust your instincts and remember, you’re not crazy. Their denial doesn’t alter the truth. It’s their defense, not your defect.
#9 “Everyone else agrees with me.”
In a bid to undermine your confidence, a narcissist might assert, ‘Everyone else agrees with me.’ This tactic is designed to make you doubt your judgement and position.
They’re saying, ‘Your perspective is invalid and unimportant.’ It’s a form of manipulation, pushing you to conform to their viewpoint instead of trusting your own.
#10 “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
When a narcissist tells you, ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about,’ they’re attempting to discredit your knowledge and experience. It’s a tactic to make themselves feel superior and undermine your confidence.
They’re trying to control the narrative, creating doubt in your mind about your insights. Remember, it’s not about your competence but their need for dominance.
#11 “Who else would put up with you?”
Another common phrase narcissists use to belittle you is ‘Who else would put up with you?’ They imply that you’re so flawed that no one else could tolerate you.
It’s a manipulation tactic meant to make you feel dependent and worthless. They want you to believe that you’re lucky they’re around.
You’re valuable and deserving of respect.
#12 “I’m always right.”
Asserting their infallibility, narcissists often declare, ‘I’m always right,’ to assert dominance and dismiss your opinions. This isn’t about being correct. It’s a tool to belittle you, making you question your judgment.
They’re not always right. They need you to believe they are. It’s manipulation to keep you in constant self-doubt and reliance on their ‘superior’ wisdom.
#13 “You can’t live without me.”
‘You can’t live without me,’ have you ever heard a narcissist utter these words? It’s their way of asserting control and boosting their ego.
They’re trying to make you believe you’re dependent on them. In reality, it’s just a manipulative tactic, aimed at making you doubt your own strength and independence.
They’re not expressing love, but rather their need for power.
#14 “It’s your fault.”
‘It’s your fault,’ is a common phrase thrown around by narcissists, designed to shift blame and responsibility onto you. They use this tactic to avoid owning up to their actions, making you feel guilty.
#15 “You’re just jealous/paranoid.”
Ever heard a narcissist dismiss your concerns with a casual ‘you’re just jealous or paranoid’? This is their way of undermining your valid feelings and perceptions.
Labeling you as jealous or paranoid means they’re deflecting blame and avoiding responsibility.
In reality, they’re projecting their insecurities onto you, while maintaining their false sense of superiority.
Before You Go
Navigating a relationship with a narcissist can be tricky, as their words often carry hidden meanings.
By understanding what phrases like ‘You’re overreacting’ or ‘It’s your fault’ really mean, you’ll be better prepared to respond.
Remember, it’s not about you but their need for power and control. Don’t let their manipulation control your perception of yourself. Stand firm, and always trust your instincts.
You’re worth more than their words may imply.
