9 Reasons Why the Narcissists Comes Back After Months of Silence

Have you ever felt like a traveler caught in a sudden storm, only to find yourself seeking shelter in the place you thought you had left behind?

The return of a narcissist after months of silence can be just as bewildering and unpredictable. As you navigate through all your questions about their reappearance, you may wonder why they chose this exact moment to resurface?

In this article, we’ll discuss nine reasons why they return. We’ll discuss everything from their endless want to control things to how they might try to mess up your recovery. 

why do narcissists come back after months of silence?

#1 Source of Supply

Narcissists return when they require a further boost to their ego or need emotional, physical, or financial resources from you.

When narcissists come back after months of silence, it’s often because they’re seeking a further boost to their ego or require emotional, physical, or financial resources from you. 

Narcissists thrive on admiration and attention and may return to you to feed their insatiable need for validation. They see you as a source of supply, someone who can give them the attention and admiration they crave.

Additionally, narcissists may come back to exploit your emotions, using your vulnerability to fulfill their own selfish needs. 

They may seek financial resources, expecting you to provide for them, or they may require emotional support and physical comfort.

# 2 Control:

They often like to reestablish their dominance and control over your life.

Narcissists returning after months of silence often seek to reestablish their dominance and control over your life. 

They thrive on power and manipulation, and their return is a strategic move to regain their position of authority. By returning, they aim to remind you of their influence and assert their dominance over you again.

They want to ensure you’re under their control, bending to their will and fulfilling their needs. 

This desire to control you is deeply rooted in their narcissistic personality disorder, and they’ll go to great lengths to maintain their dominance.

#3 Loneliness

Feeling lonely or bored, they might return to seek attention and validation.

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Narcissists may return to seek attention and validation if feeling lonely or bored. They may reach out to their previous partners when they lack emotional fulfillment or stimulation in their current relationships or situations. 

This is because they see you as a familiar source of attention and validation, someone they believe will meet their needs without much effort.

The narcissist’s loneliness and boredom can lead them to seek the comfort and familiarity of a known source, even if it means returning to a previous relationship. 

They thrive on the attention and validation they receive from others, and your presence can give them the ego boost they crave.

However, it’s important to remember that their return isn’t driven by genuine love or concern for you but their selfish desires.

#4 Sabotage

They may wish to sabotage your healing process or new relationships by reappearing in your life.

Feeding off your vulnerability, narcissists may reappear in your life to sabotage your healing process or new relationships. 

They thrive on control and power, and seeing you move on and find happiness without them threatens their ego. By re-entering your life, they aim to disrupt your progress and make you doubt yourself.

They may use manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting or love bombing, to regain their hold over you and ensure that you remain dependent on them. 

Their ultimate goal is to maintain their superiority and avoid abandonment, even if it means sabotaging your healing or new relationships.

# 5 Hoovering Technique

They use a manipulation tactic called hoovering, creating chaos and returning to save you to draw you back into the cycle of abuse.

The hoovering technique is a manipulative tactic utilized by narcissists, where they create chaos and then return to save you, enticing you back into the cycle of abuse. Narcissists use Hoovering to keep you hooked and under their control.

When they sense that you’re moving on or gaining strength, they’ll create turmoil in your life, making you feel overwhelmed and vulnerable. They may stir up drama, create arguments, or even threaten to harm themselves.

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Then, just when you feel like you can’t handle it anymore, they swoop in as the ‘savior’ to rescue you from the chaos they created. 

They play on your emotions and manipulate your desire for stability and security, drawing you back into their toxic web.

#6 To “Win”

It’s a game of power and control for them, and they want to win by pulling you back into their orbit.

After luring you back into their toxic web through manipulation tactics like hoovering, narcissists continue to play their game of power and control, driven by their insatiable desire to win by pulling you back into their orbit.

For narcissists, relationships are merely a battleground where they can assert dominance and exert their influence over you. 

They thrive on the superiority they gain from controlling your emotions and actions. By reeling you back in, they reaffirm their power and prove to themselves that they can manipulate you at will.

It becomes a twisted game for them, and winning means keeping you under their thumb, ensuring that you remain a constant source of validation and narcissistic supply. 

They’ll stop at nothing to achieve this, employing tactics necessary to maintain control over you.

#7 Unfinished Business

They may feel unfinished business or want to ensure they’re still on your mind.

They may return to ensure they remain on your mind or because they feel unfinished business between you. 

Narcissists thrive on attention and control, and by coming back into your life, they want to ensure that they’re still a prominent presence in your thoughts.

They may believe that by keeping themselves on your mind, they maintain a sense of power and control over you. Additionally, they may feel that unresolved issues or loose ends need to be addressed.

#8 Idealisation

They tend to idealize past relationships, believing they can recapture the initial stage of the relationship where they could do no wrong.

Narcissists tend to idealize past relationships to recapture the initial stage of the relationship where they could do no wrong. 

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They tend to believe that they can relive the perfect moments and regain the admiration and adoration they once received.

This idealization stems from their need for validation and the desire to maintain a sense of superiority. By idealizing the past, narcissists can hold on to the illusion of their perfection and avoid facing the reality of their flaws and mistakes.

They may convince themselves that the problems in the relationship were solely caused by external factors or the other person, allowing them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. 

Ultimately, this idealization is a manipulation tactic used to regain control and exploit the vulnerability of their previous partners.

#9 Lack of Closure

They want to leave the door open in case they decide to return, whenever it suits them.

Narcissists often leave the door open, refusing to provide closure so they can return whenever it suits their needs. This lack of closure is a safety net, allowing them to maintain control and power over you.

By not providing a definitive ending to the relationship, they keep you hanging on, always wondering if they’ll return. 

This uncertainty plays into their manipulative tactics, as they can reappear whenever they desire, exploiting your vulnerability and emotions for their satisfaction.

They want to keep you as an option, a fallback plan, in case their current sources of supply fail or they feel the need for validation. 

By leaving the door open, they maintain their hold on you, ensuring you remain under their influence for as long as possible.

Final Words

Understanding the reasons why narcissists come back after months of silence can help us protect ourselves and reclaim our power.

From their need for control and attention to their manipulative tactics, it’s important to recognize their motivations and build resilience.

By focusing on personal growth, seeking therapy, and surrounding ourselves with healthy relationships, we can break free from their toxic influence and move towards a happier and healthier life.

Stay strong and prioritize your well-being.

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