If you are dating a Narcissist, you are probably familiar that they are almost always cheaters. They cheat because they can and don’t understand the fact you should make a fuzz about it.
It does not matter if you catch your Narcissist butt naked in bed with another woman; they will deny everything or, if that’s not working, blame YOU for it.
We asked our Facebook group about some of the things Narcissists say when they cheat on you, and here are their answers.
#1 “You accuse me, I’m gonna do it.”
When a narcissist says,
‘If you accuse me, I’m gonna do it,’
they’re essentially using your suspicions as a justification for their infidelity. It’s a manipulative tactic, attempting to shift the blame onto you. They’re suggesting you’re driving them to cheat.
Don’t take the bait. It’s not your fault. Infidelity is a choice they make, not a reaction to your concerns.
#2 “It’s all in your head. She’s just a friend.”
Another common phrase narcissists use to deflect accusations of infidelity is,
‘It’s all in your head. She’s just a friend.’
They make you doubt your instincts, turning the blame on you.
You’re led to believe you’re imagining things, overreacting. But trust your gut; it’s often right. Don’t let them manipulate your perception.
#3 “Ask my mom. She’s just a long-time friend.”
Asserting, ‘Ask my mom. She’s just a long-time friend’ is yet another deflection tactic narcissists employ to cover up their infidelity.
They’re exploiting your trust in their mother’s word to mask their deceit.
#4 “I don’t even know why we are fighting.”
Just as they use deflection tactics to hide their cheating, narcissists often employ a strategy of confusion, exemplified by the statement,
‘I don’t even know why we’re fighting.’
This phrase is intended to make you question your perceptions and feelings, leaving you unsure and off-balance.
It’s a way for them to avoid responsibility and shift the blame onto you.
#5 “See what you made me do!”
In a twisted display of blame-shifting, a narcissist may resort to the phrase,
‘See what you made me do!’
They’re insisting you forced their hand into infidelity.
It’s a manipulative tactic to make you feel guilty, questioning your actions instead of theirs.
Don’t fall into this trap. Their choices are their own, not something you’ve driven them to do.
#6 “I can’t help if someone is attracted to me.”
Shifting the blame isn’t the only tactic in their playbook; they might also downplay their actions with phrases like
‘I can’t help if someone is attracted to me.’
This statement diverts attention from their infidelity and places the responsibility on the third party. It’s a classic narcissist move – dodging accountability by making it seem like they’re just irresistible.
#7 “I just work with her.”
Another common phrase you might hear from a cheating narcissist is,
‘I just work with her.’
This statement aims to normalize and justify their excessive time spent with the other person. They’re downplaying their relationship, ensuring you perceive it as innocent.
Yet, the frequency of their ‘working late’ or ‘work trips’ may indicate an intimate connection they’re trying to hide.
#8 “It’s not what you think. She is just a friend.”
Despite the seemingly innocent nature of their ‘work relationship’, a deeper layer to their deceit emerges when they assure you,
‘It’s not what you think. She’s just a friend.’
This is a classic diversion tactic, readily deployed to throw you off their scent. It’s a blatant exploitation of your trust, designed to mask their infidelity while perpetuating your self-doubt.
#9 . “I have known her for years.”
When they drop the line,
‘I have known her for years,’
it’s often another smokescreen used to downplay their disloyalty and make their actions seem less suspicious.
Narcissists use this phrase to imply a spiritual history, trying to make you feel irrational for doubting them.
#10 “You don’t have to worry. She’s not my type.”
Building on the idea of manipulative phrases, consider the seemingly reassuring statement,
‘You don’t have to worry. She’s not my type.’
This is often a diversion, a way to deflect suspicion. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
If they spend an unusual amount of time with this person, your gut feeling might be right, regardless of whether she’s their ‘type’ or not.
#11 “Believe what you want.”
Another common phrase narcissists use when they’re cheating is
‘Believe what you want,’
which reeks of dismissiveness and a lack of empathy.
It’s their way of avoiding guilt and responsibility. This phrase allows them to deny your suspicions and make you feel like you overreact.
It’s a sign they’re not invested in your feelings or the relationship’s health.
#12 “You are seeing things.”
In a bid to further gaslight you, a narcissist might tell you
‘You are seeing things,’
effectively blaming your suspicions on your misperceptions rather than their infidelity. They’re twisting reality, making you question your sanity.
This is a classic manipulation tactic to deflect blame and keep you off balance, ensuring they maintain control and avoid taking responsibility for their betrayal.
#13 “It was a mistake.”
Often, a narcissist will label their act of infidelity as a ‘mistake,’ attempting to minimize the severity of their actions and shrug off accountability. They’ll insist it was a one-time slip, not a repeated choice. But don’t be fooled.
This ‘mistake’ narrative is a tactic to deflect blame and keep you off balance, undermining your trust and self-worth.
#14 “Let me explain. It’s not what you think.”
‘Let me explain. It’s not what you think,’
is another manipulative phrase narcissists may use when they’re caught cheating. They’re trying to control the narrative, downplay their actions, and deflect blame.
Instead of acknowledging their betrayal, they muddy the waters with excuses, hoping you’ll doubt your own perceptions. Don’t fall for it. Trust your instincts and stand your ground.
#15 “Someone was hacking into my FB messenger. I was just trying to find out who it was.”
‘Someone was hacking into my FB messenger. I was just trying to find out who it was,’
comes across as a classic deflection technique used by narcissists when they’re caught cheating.
They’re shifting the blame, trying to make you feel guilty for accusing them. They’ll play the victim, making the situation about them, not their infidelity.
Beware – it’s a manipulation tactic.
#16 “You’re just insecure.”
While ‘someone was hacking into my FB messenger’ is a common deflection, another tactic narcissists use when accused of cheating is to dismiss your concerns by saying,
‘You’re just insecure.’
This is a classic gaslighting move, designed to make you question your instincts and feelings. They’re trying to shift the blame onto you, making their infidelity seem like a product of your insecurities.
#17 “You don’t have to worry about her.”
In the midst of your suspicions, the Narcissist might dismiss your concerns with a casual,
‘You don’t have to worry about her.’
This is a classic deflection tactic, designed to make you feel irrational for suspecting something.
They attempt to control the narrative, establish dominance, and undermine your gut feelings.
Always trust your intuition and don’t let them manipulate your emotions.
#18 “You made me cheat.”
Shifting blame is another tactic narcissists often use, especially with accusations like
‘You made me cheat.’
They’ll portray their infidelity as your fault, claiming you drove them to it. It’s a manipulative strategy designed to make you question your actions and feel guilty, taking the spotlight off their misconduct.
#19 “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Despite their unfaithfulness, a narcissist might insist,
‘I didn’t do anything wrong,’
in an attempt to absolve themselves of guilt or responsibility. They’re not acknowledging their actions or considering your feelings.
Instead, they’re denying their culpability and manipulating the situation. It’s a selfish, thoughtless act that further evidences their lack of empathy and disregard for your pain.
#20 “You’re too controlling, I need my freedom.”
Following the denial of their infidelity, the Narcissist may try to turn the tables on you by asserting,
‘You’re too controlling, I need my freedom.’
They blame you for their actions, making you feel guilty for stifling them.
It’s a classic manipulative move, aiming to distract you from their betrayal and undermine your confidence in your judgment. Stay strong, and don’t fall for it.
#21 “I was just bored and needed some excitement.”
In a bid to justify their infidelity, a narcissist might claim,
‘I was just bored and needed some excitement.’
This is their attempt to blame monotony rather than their actions.
They’re implying it’s your fault for not being interesting enough. Don’t buy into this, it’s a manipulation tactic they use to deflect responsibility for their betrayal.
#22 “You’re blowing this out of proportion. It was a one-time thing.”
When a narcissist says,
‘You’re blowing this out of proportion. It was a one-time thing,’
they’re attempting to minimize their actions and your feelings about their infidelity.
They’re shifting blame onto you, making it seem like you overreact. Remember, it’s not about the frequency of their cheating but the betrayal of trust.
Your feelings are valid; don’t let them convince you otherwise.
#23 “If you trusted me more, I wouldn’t have looked elsewhere.”
Shifting gears slightly, another tactic narcissists often employ is to declare,
‘If you trusted me more, I wouldn’t have looked elsewhere.’
They’re trying to make you feel guilty as if their infidelity is your fault. Please don’t fall for it.
It’s manipulative and cruel, shifting blame from their actions onto your supposed lack of trust. They’re simply trying to evade accountability.
#24 “You’re just paranoid. Nothing is going on.”
Contrary to what you may believe, the phrase
‘You’re just paranoid, nothing is going on’
is another classic line narcissists use to dismiss your suspicions about their infidelity. They’ll try to make you doubt your instincts and paint you as irrational.
This tactic, known as gaslighting, aims to deflect blame and keep you second-guessing while they continue their deceitful behavior.
#25 “You’re trying to make me the bad guy here.”
Despite your valid concerns, a narcissist might accuse you of ‘trying to make them the bad guy,’ effectively turning the blame around on you.
They’ll deflect responsibility for their actions by painting you as the perpetrator. It’s a classic manipulation tactic, designed to make you question your own perspective while they continue to cheat without remorse.
Before You Go
Cheating is a painful experience, and it’s even more so when the cheater is a narcissist. They’ll spin the situation, blaming you or trivializing their actions. Remember, their words are a manipulation tactic, not a reflection of your worth.
Trust your instincts, prioritize your well-being, and seek support. You deserve honesty, respect, and a partner who values your trust. Don’t let a narcissist’s excuses for cheating cloud your judgment or shake your self-worth.
