You finally decided to break up with your Narcissist. After the initial drama, your Narcissist suggests staying friends with them because you shared too much with them. Besides lovers, you were also friends….
Is staying friends with the Narcissist a good idea? What can go wrong?
You might be thinking, ‘Well, we’ve shared so much, it can’t all be bad, right?’
Wrong! Staying friends with the Narcissist will never end well for the same reasons you broke up with them. They suck at being lovers, and they suck at being friends with you.
Here are 11 reasons why it is not a good idea to stay friends with your Narcissist ex.
#1 They will not respect your boundaries
Often, a narcissist will persistently disregard and overstep your boundaries, showing little to no respect for your personal space or emotional needs.
They’ll invade your privacy without a second thought, treating your private domain as their own. You’ll find them snooping around your personal belongings or demanding your attention at inappropriate times.
They won’t recognize the importance of your personal time, space, or feelings, dismissing them as trivial or irrelevant.
This lack of respect can leave you feeling violated and disrespected. It’s not just about privacy. It’s about basic human decency.
Remember, you deserve respect, and it’s okay to demand it, especially from those who claim to care about you. Don’t let a narcissist’s disregard for your boundaries affect your sense of self-worth.
#2 They will still Gaslight and Manipulate you
In addition to disrespecting your boundaries, a narcissist might continue to gaslight and manipulate you even after the breakup.
They’re experts at making you doubt your reality, a tactic they won’t quit just because you’re not together anymore. They’ll twist your words, reinterpret your memories, and convince you that you’re the one at fault.
You might find yourself constantly second-guessing, unsure about your decisions, and questioning your sanity. Their manipulation doesn’t stop at gaslighting. They’ll play emotional games, use guilt trips, and exploit your vulnerabilities to control you.
Staying friends with a narcissist after a breakup condones their damaging behavior and keeps you in their toxic web. It’s not healthy, and it’s not worth it.
#3 They suck at being good friends
Despite the charm they may exude, narcissists make terrible friends because they’re self-centered and lack empathy.
Their friendships are often one-sided, all about them and their needs. They’re not interested in your day, achievements, or concerns. They have a way of turning every conversation back to themselves.
You’re merely an audience to their glorious life, a prop in their ongoing drama. They don’t understand the concept of give and take in friendships.
When you’re hurting, they won’t offer genuine comfort, only hollow words that still revolve around them. They’re not there for you in times of need, only when it suits them.
In short, they suck at being good friends, and you deserve better.
#4 They still want to control your life and give advice on your love life
Even after a breakup, you’ll find that a narcissist still tries to exert control over your life, especially when it comes to your love life.
They’ll offer unsolicited advice, passing judgment on your choices and relationships. Their seemingly ‘helpful’ suggestions are often manipulative tactics to keep you second-guessing yourself.
Narcissists are notorious for turning situations to their advantage, and your post-breakup friendship won’t be any different.
They’ll use your vulnerability to keep you within their sphere of influence. It’s important to remember that this isn’t about helping you move forward but about maintaining their control.
Ultimately, their interference can hinder your healing and growth. So, setting boundaries and distancing yourself from their influence is best.
#5 They will betray you
While you’re busy setting boundaries and distancing yourself, another harsh reality you’ll have to face is that a narcissist won’t hesitate to betray you.
This betrayal isn’t about you but their need to maintain control and superiority. They’ll manipulate situations, twist truths, and use your secrets against you to keep themselves on top.
They’ll make promises they don’t intend to keep and exploit your vulnerabilities for their gain.
You may believe they’re genuine, but remember their actions are driven by self-interest, not empathy for you.
Staying friends with them only leaves you exposed to more pain. So, protect your heart and your peace. Cut ties and move forward without them.
#6 There will be a lot of drama involved
Expect a whirlwind of drama if you choose to remain friends with a narcissist after a breakup.
Narcissists thrive on chaos and conflict; it’s their way of maintaining control and asserting their dominance. They’ll manipulate situations to create confusion or make mountains out of molehills.
You’ll find yourself constantly on edge, never knowing when the next storm will hit. You may even start to question your sanity, as they’re experts at gaslighting – making you doubt your perceptions and feelings.
This ongoing drama is emotionally draining and can take a serious toll on your mental health. It’s not worth the stress and heartache. Remember, you deserve peace and calm in your life. Don’t let a narcissist rob you of that.
#7 They will use you for sex
Beware, a narcissist may try to keep you around for their sexual gratification post-breakup. They’ll manipulate the situation to make you feel like you’re nothing more than a sexual object, and they’re only interested in what they can get from you. They’ll use guilt, flattery, or threats to get what they want.
This isn’t healthy or a basis for a true friendship. It’s a form of abuse and it’s completely unacceptable. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, not used for someone else’s selfish needs.
Don’t let the narcissist turn you into their plaything. Stand your ground, and remember, it’s okay to say no.
#8 It prevents you from moving on
Staying friends with a narcissist after a breakup can act like an anchor, holding you back from the healing process and moving forward with your life.
You might think you’re strong enough to handle it, but the reality is often different. They’re experts at manipulation, and they’ll use every opportunity to pull you back in.
This constant tug-of-war isn’t healthy. It keeps you stuck in the past, unable to explore new relationships or experiences.
You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the narcissist to cause drama or upset. It’s an exhausting cycle that drains your emotional energy.
Cutting ties entirely is tough, but it’s the only way to start healing and reclaiming your life truly.
#9 You still aren’t good enough for them
Despite your best efforts, you’ll likely never meet a narcissist’s unrealistic standards. No matter how hard you try, you’ll always fall short in their eyes.
They’ll continually find faults and criticize you, making you feel inadequate and undeserving. It’s a toxic cycle where you’re perpetually trying to prove your worth, but it’s futile. They’ll never value your efforts or acknowledge your worth.
Staying friends with a narcissist after a breakup keeps this damaging cycle spinning. It means you’re still subjected to their belittling comments and unattainable expectations.
This can harm your self-esteem, make you question your worth, and prevent you from moving forward. In the end, breaking free is the healthiest choice. You’re worth more than their constant criticism.
#10 They will sabotage future relationships
In addition to damaging your self-esteem, maintaining a friendship with a narcissist post-breakup can wreak havoc on your future relationships. Narcissists have a knack for manipulation.
They’ll use their charm and charisma to infiltrate your new relationships, subtly injecting doubt and insecurity.
They may spread rumors, paint you in a negative light, or undermine your new partner, all to maintain control. Their actions aren’t about your happiness or well-being but their need to dominate and assert superiority.
They don’t want you to move on. Letting a narcissist stay in your life post-breakup is like allowing a fox into the henhouse. It’s a recipe for disaster. Therefore, cutting ties entirely is best to protect your future relationships.
#11 They will suck you back into a relationship with them
Beware, a narcissist can draw you back into a relationship with them, even after a breakup. They’re master manipulators, skilled at playing on your emotions and making you question your decisions.
It’s easy to get sucked back in, given their charm and the memories you share. However, remember why you broke up in the first place. The toxic patterns won’t change, and you’ll find yourself trapped in the same cycle of emotional abuse.
Cutting ties entirely is the healthiest choice. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary for your mental well-being. Don’t let their false promises of change lure you back. Stand firm and remember, you deserve better than a relationship filled with manipulation and disrespect.
Before You Go
Maintaining ties with a narcissist post-breakup isn’t worth the emotional turmoil. They won’t respect boundaries, continue manipulating, and attempt to control your life.
You’ll likely face betrayal and sabotage, halting your progress in moving on and forming new relationships. Remember, you’re more than good enough and don’t need their negativity.
Cut the cord, and you’ll find a healthier, happier space.
