The push-and-pull effect of being with a narcissist is the most mentally exhausting, draining way to live.
You want to hope it changes, but the cycle rolls around, and you get hurt again.
Narcissists will discard you in the most cruel, unthinkable ways possible and beg you for their forgiveness.
They go from palpably cold, to boiling hot like the flick of a switch – but why?
To keep you hooked!
20 things narcissists say to get you back is a topic for you to be able to gain a sense of self-pride…
…So the next time they come a knockin’ – you know the verbal fakery to look out for!
They Believe What They Say
Getting You Back: The Continuing Cycle
#1 “Nobody Else Lights Your Fire”
Oh, really? Well maybe I should find out for myself!
Never be told that you’ve met ‘the best there is,’, especially by somebody as untrusting as a narcissist.
I mean – the nerve!
#2 “I was Wrong, But I Can Change”
The only time a narcissist will admit that they’re wrong is when they want something from you.
They will say whatever it takes to get you back in their desperate attempt, even if it means throwing their conscience on the line.
#3 “I Can’t Do This Without You”
The helplessness is extremely fake, but narcissists can make it feel so real when they’re trying to win you back.
In truth, they can absolutely live without you because, in no time, they will find somebody else to abuse and steal supplies from.
#4 “How Can We Be Apart, When We’re Meant To Be”
No! You are not meant to be! This phrase plays on your already struggling attachment to them.
They know you’re dependent on them often because that’s how they made you.
Don’t be fooled. The picture painted of your souls meant to remain united is false and dangerous.
#5 “I’ve Never Met Anybody Quite Like You”
They have. Those people were kind and empathic, just like you.
Rinse and repeat.
But to make you believe they’ve never met anybody like you, is designed only to make you feel special.
I know you love to feel that, (we all do), but don’t buy into the lies.
#6 “If You Think About It, Our Problems Weren’t That Big. I Think You’re Just Being Dramatic”
Problems should never be minimalized – not ever.
If they are, you need to understand how this is an attempt from the narcissist to bury the real issues so they don’t have to deal with them.
Why?
Because it’s beyond their capacity. They just want you to agree, and come back.
#7 “Every Day We Are Apart, You Never Leave My Mind. I Love You”
In other words, “I don’t have anybody to manipulate, and I don’t know what to do to get the supply you used to give me.”
This isn’t love, but so many victims mistake it because the narcissists knows exactly the right words to use.
#8 “I’m Finally Ready. I’m Not Scared Anymore”
Finally?
So all the ways you were not ready that caused me pain is to be forgotten?
You’ve been here before, and nothing changed. What makes this time any different?
#9 “See How Perfect We Are Together”
No. No you don’t. Stop trying to look for what isn’t there.
The narcissist will hope you see what they tell you to see, as it’s their way of trying to paint an image for you.
#10 “Remember All The Good Times”
I’m sure you were happy sometimes, but don’t be fooled. These were merely moments in between the vast paths of misery.
They were set up specifically for you to look back on fondly, but they weren’t genuine.
#11 “I Was So Wrong To Let You Go. It’ll Never Happen Again”
Yeah, yeah. We believe you… not!
The only time a narcissist will tell you how wrong they were is when they want something from you.
This time around, it’s to get you back.
And the fact that the profusely lie and say it’ll never happen again… who are you to believe it?
#12 “Let Me Make It Right”
How?
They aren’t going to be able to make it right. You can cover up abuse with a band aid and expect what’s underneath to heal.
You can’t get better in the same environment that made you sick.
It’s just not possible.
#13 “I Can Make You Happier Than You Could Imagine”
Once upon a time you might have believed this – but the proof is in the experience, right?
Have they done anything solid to make you happy?
Broken promises or telling you they love you don’t count!
#14 “It All Has To Mean Something, Right?”
It did, but it doesn’t anymore.
Evidently, it meant far more to you than it ever has to them!
Trying to pull you back to them by asking if it all meant something is the worst way to convince you to try again.
#15 “You’re The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To Me”
Sure.
The best supply, you mean.
There is no way what you’ve been through was the best thing, and if you were so special, why did they insist on treating you so badly?
#16 “I Promise I’ve Changed”
The most dangerous of all – do not believe!
You’re better than that.
I promise (and my promises are worth far more) they don’t mean this.
Narcissists don’t change.
#17 “I’ve Learned So Many Lessons”
Like what? How to win somebody back that you’ve treated like shit?
No thanks!
The only lesson they’ve learned is that no supply exists all the while they are alone.
That’s why they want you back.
#18 “Do It For Our Memories”
Yeah, because all the times you used to tell me how fat, ugly and useless I was are so warmly nostalgic to me – I don’t think so!
Memories need to be kept in real terms here, including the negative ones!
#19 “I’m So Lost Without You”
Haha! I am laughing out loud because I know they mean a different kind of ‘lost’
They want you to think they can’t live without your love, and they want you back because they love you exactly the same.
It’s not.
No.
They’re lost without somebody to abuse.
They’re lost without you falling over yourself to please them.
Don’t confuse the two, I beg of you.
#20 “The Thought of You With Somebody Else Drives Me Mad”
Good! That doesn’t mean you should go back to them!
So what if it drives them crazy! Maybe you’ll find somebody who values you and sees your worth.
If you do, that’s what you deserve – happiness!
You’re never going to find that with a narcissist!
