20 Things Narcissists Say to Get You Back

You believed you finally broke up with the Narcissist and that they would leave you alone. But Narcissists tend to Hoover you and suck you back into the toxic relationship you just left.

Narcissists are experts in playing with your emotions. They will emotionally blackmail you by saying romantic things to give them another chance.

Please don’t fall for it! Narcissists CAN’T Change.

Here are 20 typical things Narcissists say to get you back into the relationship.

 #1 “No one else can make you as happy as I can”

They say this to undermine your confidence and make you question your ability to find happiness without them.

It’s a form of emotional blackmail to keep you tied to them. Don’t be fooled. You’re capable of creating your own happiness. Remember, it’s not just about being with someone who makes you happy but also being able to find joy independently.

Don’t let a narcissist convince you that your happiness depends on them. You’re stronger than you think and deserve a relationship where mutual respect, not manipulation, is the norm.

#2 “I realize now I was wrong. I’ll change, I promise”

This is a promise of change with statements like ‘I realize now I was wrong. I’ll change, I promise. This phrase tugs on your hope and willingness to forgive, making it a powerful tool in their arsenal.

They’ll seem sincere and you might want to trust them. However, remember that true change is a process, not a promise.

It takes time, effort, and a genuine desire to do so. Narcissists often lack this sincerity, using the promise of change as a mere ploy to reel you back in.

Beware of empty promises, and always prioritize your emotional health.

#3 “I can’t live without you. You’re everything to me.”

They say this to make you feel indispensable and guilty about leaving.

These words aim to create a sense of obligation, as if you’re causing their misery by choosing to leave. But don’t let this manipulation tactic trap you. It’s a common ploy to reel you back into their toxic world.

It’s not about them being unable to live without you but about maintaining control over you.

So, don’t be swayed by their desperation. Stick to your decision, and remember you’re not responsible for their happiness or well-being. It’s their job to find ways to live without you.

#4 “We were meant to be together. You won’t find a connection like ours anywhere else.”

Hearing this can be incredibly powerful and emotionally stirring, yet it’s crucial to recognize this as another common manipulation tactic used by narcissists.

They often try to make you believe your bond is extraordinary and irreplaceable. It’s a ploy to keep you hooked, hoping you’ll second-guess your decision to leave.

#5 “I’ve never met anyone else like you. You’re irreplaceable.”

Narcissists say this to make you feel special and unique as if you’re the only one who could meet their needs. It’s a powerful manipulation because it appeals to your desire to feel valued and important.

But don’t be fooled. This is another way for them to reel you into their toxic web. Remember, it’s not about your irreplaceability but their need to maintain control.

So, when you hear these words, take them as a warning sign of their narcissistic behavior, not as a compliment about your uniqueness.

#6 “You’re overreacting. Our problems weren’t that big.”

This form of gaslighting is designed to make you question your judgment and perception of reality.

They’re trying to convince you that your identified issues aren’t significant, aiming to diminish your feelings and concerns.

This strategy enables them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It’s a way to shift the blame onto you, making you the problem rather than addressing the real issues.

 #7 “I thought about you every day we were apart. I still love you.”

This is a way to belittle your concerns, a classic manipulation tactic that makes you question your decision to distance yourself. Don’t be fooled.

Their claim of constant thought is a ploy to exploit your emotions, not a reflection of genuine love or regret.

The narcissist’s declaration of love is likely another manipulation designed to reel you back in. Remember, their actions didn’t reflect this professed love when you were together.

Stay firm. Their sweet words aren’t proof of change but a calculated attempt to regain control.

#8 “I was scared before, but now I’m ready to fully commit to you.”

This is a manipulative ploy designed to reel you back into the relationship. Narcissists often use such proclamations to exploit your empathy and hope for a better future. They may claim they’ve had a change of heart, promising that this time will be different.

However, remember that true change isn’t sudden, especially for a narcissist. It’s not uncommon for the cycle of manipulation and mistreatment to resume once they’ve regained control.

So, when they say they’re ready to commit, question if it’s genuine or another attempt to manipulate.

#9 “We’re perfect for each other, can’t you see it?”

They say this to make you question your judgment and ignore your instincts.

They’re playing on your emotions, hoping you’ll overlook their past actions and buy into this idealized vision of a perfect relationship.

But remember, you’ve seen their true colors. They’ve shown you who they are, and it’s not the person they’re pretending to be now.

Don’t let them twist your perception of reality. You deserve a partner who respects and treats you with kindness, not someone who manipulates you for their benefit.

#10 “Remember all the good times we had together?”

Don’t be fooled when a narcissist says this. This is often a manipulative strategy to make you forget about the negative experiences and mistreatment in the relationship.

They’re attempting to cloud your judgment with nostalgia meant to overshadow the harm they’ve caused.

It’s a common tactic used to reel you back in, to make you second-guess your decision to leave.

You may start questioning whether the bad times were that bad. But don’t let them trap you in this cycle of manipulation. Stay strong and remind yourself of the reasons why you left.

The ‘good times’ don’t negate the pain they’ve inflicted.

#11 “I made a terrible mistake when I let you go. I won’t do it again.”

When a narcissist says this, they want you to feel responsible for their supposed remorse and regret. This is a ploy to make you second-guess your decision and consider giving them another chance.

What you need to understand is that the narcissist isn’t really sorry for hurting you; they’re sorry they lost the power and control they had over you.

Their claim of having made a ‘terrible mistake’ is nothing but a manipulative tactic aimed at pulling you back into the toxic cycle. So, don’t fall for their empty words and false promises.

 #12 “I know now what I did wrong. Please give me a chance to make it right.”

Hearing a narcissist say this might sound sincere, but it’s often another cunning attempt to regain control. It’s a classic manipulation tactic to make you feel sorry for them, to reel you back into the chaotic cycle of their narcissistic abuse.

They’re not admitting fault because they’ve grown or changed. They’re doing it because they’ve noticed your strength and independence and are scared. They’re losing their grip on you, and this is their desperate bid to hook you back in.

#13 “I’ll make you the happiest you’ve ever been, just give me another chance.”

This statement is designed to prey on your hopes and dreams, to reel you back into the tumultuous cycle of their narcissistic behavior.

The promise of a joyful future might be enticing, especially when it’s coming from someone you once deeply cared for. But remember, it’s just a ploy. They’re not promising this out of love or genuine remorse, but to regain their lost control.

It’s vital to stand your ground, remember the pain their actions have caused, and resist the temptation to believe in their empty promises.

 #14 “Think about all we’ve been through, it has to mean something.”

When Narcissists say this they’re manipulating your emotions, creating a sense of shared history and investment to draw you back in.

However, it’s crucial to remember that the value of a relationship isn’t determined by its length but by the mutual respect, love, and support within it. A narcissist’s plea isn’t about the value of your shared experiences but about their fear of losing control. Don’t let nostalgia cloud your judgment.

You’re not obligated to stay because you’ve been through a lot together. Rather, focus on how those experiences made you feel – if they were largely negative, it’s a sign to move on.

#15 “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

When a narcissist tells you this, they’re often trying to manipulate your emotions and make you feel indispensable. This heart-tugging phrase is a classic tactic to reel you back in.

They’re playing on your empathy and compassion to make you feel guilty about leaving. You might start questioning your decision, wondering if you’re giving up on something extraordinary. But remember, it’s a calculated move, not a heartfelt confession.

Narcissists use such statements to maintain control, not because they truly value you. They’re skilled at feigning vulnerability to keep you hooked. So, when you hear this line, see it as a red flag rather than a romantic declaration. It’s about their need, not your worth.

#16 “I’ve changed, I swear. You’ll see.”

Don’t let a narcissist’s promise of change fool you – it’s another manipulative tactic they use to reel you back in. It sounds sincere, but it’s often a mere facade.

Their transformation isn’t about becoming a better person; it’s about regaining their control over you.

They might even go to therapy or make grand gestures to convince you of their ‘change’. But beware, narcissists are skilled actors. They know how to play the role, to mimic emotions and actions that make them seem genuine.

However, their actions rarely match their words for long. So, be strong, stand your ground, and don’t get lured back into their toxic cycle.

#17 “I’ve learned from my mistakes. You’ll see a new me.”

Just as they might promise to change, narcissists also claim to have learned from their past mistakes, assuring you that you’ll see a new version of themselves. This is often a tactic to regain control after a breakup or argument. They’ll appear remorseful and insightful, seemingly owning up to their wrongdoings.

They’re skilled at mimicking genuine growth without actually changing. It’s crucial to remember that real change requires time, effort, and a willingness to break old patterns. Don’t be fooled by their persuasive words.

Look for consistent actions over an extended period. If they’ve truly learned from their mistakes, it’ll be evident in their behavior, not just their promises. Trust your instincts and protect your emotional well-being.

#18 “Do it for the times we spent together. Don’t let them go to waste.”

They’ll remind you of the good times, the laughter, the shared moments, hoping to cloud your judgment and make you forget the pain they caused.

They’ll use your sentimentality as a weapon against you, aiming to make you feel guilty about letting go.

Remember, it’s a manipulation tactic designed to play on your emotions. It’s not about honoring shared memories but about maintaining control.

You’re not wasting anything by moving on. Instead, you’re choosing to honor yourself, and that’s the most valuable thing you could do.

 #19 “I’m lost without you.”

This is a desperate plea designed to make you feel like the narcissist’s survival hinges on your presence.

You might feel a rush of importance and guilt simultaneously. Don’t be swayed. It’s not your responsibility to save them or unravel their emotional chaos. This is just another tactic to reel you back in.

Remember the pain and turmoil they’ve caused you if you’re tempted to rescue them. They’re not lost without you. They’re lost within themselves, and that’s a journey they need to navigate on their own.

#20 “I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else.”

They attempt to play on your emotions by saying this, making you feel guilty about moving on. They’re not genuinely concerned about your happiness. They’re just terrified of losing control over you.

Their ego can’t handle the thought of you being happy without them or, worse, with someone else. Don’t fall for this trap. Remember, you deserve a relationship based on mutual respect and genuine love, not manipulation and control.

Stand firm, maintain your boundaries, and don’t let a narcissist’s words sway your decision.

Before You Go

Narcissists are master manipulators, using well-crafted phrases to draw you back into their toxic web. Recognizing these tactics is your first line of defense.

Remember, it’s not your duty to fix or fall for their false promises. No relationship should come at the cost of your mental health.

Stay strong, maintain your boundaries, and seek support when needed. You have the power to resist their manipulation and reclaim your life.

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