Wouldn’t it be magical to believe in a place where narcissists don’t get under our skin? Well – no magic is necessary here!
Narcissists make us want to be resistant to them because we are growing more and more sick and tired of their lies, manipulation and gaslighting.
Many make the mistake of believing that we cannot be resistant, but this is far from the truth.
Anyone can be!
There’s no catch – there are five ways to become resistant to narcissists.
Let’s guide you through each one, right now!
#1 Gaslight-o-meter
If you can own your reality, you can repel all gaslighters!
Sometimes, we don’t give ourselves enough credit – and credit should be where credit is due – we own our truth.
Narcissists are perfect at ensuring their version of reality is a stamp that they can apply on everyone who will fall for it. It leaves those under the narcissistic spell uncertain, confused and unable to fully understand what’s really going on – especially as narcissists are great convincers.
People believe them, which stems from not valuing your opinion highly enough.
If your reality is ever questioned, step back and see this as an opportunity for resistance!
#2 Detach From ‘Charm’
Stop falling for charming people. Life isn’t a Disney film, is it? We often see the charming person coming in to save everybody, but we never see what happens after ‘The End.’
It’s time to see an opportunity to resist narcissists by unseeing the value in charm—because that value isn’t real.
What is the charm covering? Tread carefully—when someone appears seductive, it’s because they want you to respond with a hypnotizing smile.
Pay attention.
Walk away – run if you can!
#3 Education Isn’t Everything
Being smart or educated means nothing other than knowing many things about one or several subjects. Reading books and gathering a dozen degrees or PhDs doesn’t automatically give you ‘nice person’ rights.
Many people mistake the educational background of a person for being positive and endearing traits, but there are plenty of narcissists who will throw what they know in front of them like some kind of smoke screen.
“See all my knowledge, aren’t I fantastic?”
No, you aren’t. You’re clever, but that doesn’t make you Mother Theresa.
Don’t buy it.
#4 Observe Their Treatment of People
Narcissists have two faces. They can be incredibly luring in public, wanting to be everyone’s best friend, but in private, they become a completely different person.
If you start to look closer, and pay real attention to how they treat people in different scenarios – you’ll see the real person.
Maybe look at how they treat servers in a restaurant, or how they view or treat those who might make an error in their presence. What about somebody who jokes about them in front of them, or who might call them out.
Narcissists talk about people behind their backs and if they can do it with somebody else, they can do it with you.
Watch out – become resistant.
#5 Check Their Moods
Narcissists easily become frustrated when things don’t go their way. They don’t have the emotional regulation that non-narcissists have, or the ability to be resilient when things aren’t perfect or ‘just so.’
What makes it easier for you to become resistant to the narcissist, is to just watch and see exactly how they act in those circumstances.
What are they like when they’re disappointed?
Any facade will transition to rage, and you will see red flags everywhere.
Don’t be their excuses, and don’t bow down to them.
#6 Wealth Doesn’t Equate to Kindness
What is money other than something acquired, right?
Wealth can sometimes evoke a sense of, “I’m much better than you; look at all the wonderful things I have and can afford.”
Similar to the charm, it’s easy to ooh and aah at all the shiny thighs the narcissist owns, but what are they doing?
They’re diverting you from their toxic character and saying, “Hey, isn’t all what I own marvelous?”
Resistance means to shrug and be indifferent.
Nobody likes a show-off.
#7 Boundaries – Learn to Say No
I want you to read these words and pay close attention to them, and any time you need reminding of them, just think of this moment:
No is a complete sentence.
It does not need justification, and it does not need to be attached to a ‘maybe’ or a ‘but’.
No is a way of letting somebody know you have no room to swerve or adapt. You own your choices, and if you can reiterate that to yourself often, you will become resistant to any narcissist because they will learn quickly that they cannot manipulate you.
Resistance will not be futile!
#8 Say Goodbye to Enablers
Dump them. Dump them now.
They all need to go. Why? Because the narcissist is just a fraction of your problem – and the enablers are the rest.
Enablers carry with them an extension of the narcissist’s toxicity, just in a different, more indirect way. They will continue to get under your skin, always vouching for the narcissist and attempting to further gaslight you.
As you disengage from the narcissist, do the same with the enablers, and I understand it isn’t easy.
This can look like withdrawing from friends or family who still insist the narcissist is a good person, and I’m not suggesting you isolate yourself totally, but if you can at the very least – see them as little as often.
It’s all the same, bad energy.
#9 Second Chances – NO!
How many chances can you give to a person before they understand their power over yours? With a narcissist – just one!
Mistakes happen, but at least be on your guard. If somebody is dismissive of you, if they try to alter your reality or make you feel small in front of everybody else – watch.
Second chances are like saying, “Sure, you can walk all over me; I don’t mind!”
Of course you mind – because you matter.
#10 Find a Good, Empathic Circle to Be In
Good people are good for the soul. They are the blooming flowers and foliage in nature, whereas the narcissist is more like Japanese Knotweed.
They spread their toxicity around so quickly that it can feel almost impossible to get rid of it – but getting rid is always possible.
Learning the craft of who good people are, how they warm your heart, and give you the emotional maturity and support you need is everything you need to build your life with grace, instead of allowing the pain and frustration of a narcissist in again.
