If you are familiar with the term ‘smear campaign,’ then I hope it’s not because you’ve been a victim of one.
Like anything smeared, smear campaigns can get messy for those whose name is at the center of it. Narcissists conjure up all ways to do this, and they regret nothing.
In fact, the more they see you suffer, the more they smear your name because they know it’s working!
Before you jump toward the narcissist and demand to know why you’re being subjected to this festival of lies, read on. I have everything you need to know about why they’re doing it…
…And how you can recover from it!
When Everything Was Rosy
Remember way back when?
Life was rosy, the narcissist and yourself got on. They thought you were the best thing to ever happen to them. You thought they were the most wonderful person.
Life was amazing.
You saw a side to the narcissist that you were convinced was real. The way they made you feel important. All the ways you felt connected.
It didn’t last though, did it? Something happened that shifted those dynamics of perfection.
Narcissists and Losing Control: How They Cope
Smear campaigns will always start when narcissists begin to lose control. You start slipping through their fingers like grains of sand. The more they try to keep a hold of you, the quicker you fall out of their grasp.
If the narcissist is losing you to your own strength and sanity, they’re going to want to turn those into weakness and mental instability.
What happens next is frightening, as they gather together a plan.
This plan isn’t like anything you’ve ever seen before. No matter how prepared you are for a smear campaign, it will always leave you stressed out, frustrated and unfairly framed.
Suddenly, the control you had over the narcissist is being clawed back by them in other ways.
What Exactly is a Smear Campaign?
To put it bluntly, a smear campaign is any intentional effort to undermine your:
- Reputation
- Credibility
- Character
It will be premeditated, and adjusted to the individual to really tap into their vulnerabilities.
Spreading rumors about you really sit at the center of any smear campaign. It all starts with the narcissist telling people lies that are to your detriment. They can even go a step further and say things like, “Well, they will tell you it’s a lie, but that’s because they’re embarrassed or ashamed.”
Imagine the horror in your gut as you realize you’ve got to battle to protest your innocence and when you do people just think you’re crazy?
Recruiting Flying Monkeys
The term flying monkeys came from the movie, The Wizard of Oz. In it, the Wicked Witch had all these (literal) flying monkeys to do her dirty work for her. They sided with her, even though she was rotten from the inside out.
In real life, narcissists use ‘flying monkeys’ too. These will be people known to you both, who are easily led astray by lies and gossip. The narcissist will control and contrive stories they will believe about you. The result will be:
- That you lose people – friends or even family members
- People will cancel their plans with you and want to spend less time with you
- People will be convinced that it was all your fault
- They will believe the innocence of the narcissist
- You’ll ultimately feel isolated and alone – the narcissist’s ‘checkmate’
The Smear Campaign: Why?!
So come on. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. We know smear campaigns are made to destroy your good name. I also know from speaking to as many people as I have that smear campaigns can really affect the mental health of those targeted.
But what’s really going on under the surface?
Why does the narcissist smear your name?
To Save Face
Being dumped is one strong contender for falling into the smear campaign trap. Heaven forbid the world knows the narcissist wasn’t loveable enough to stay with – so you become the problem and they can get their revenge on you.
Never drag a narcissist through vulnerable waters, because they will swim upstream and prepare silently for revenge!
To Divert Blame
Anything they did, they can blame you for and manipulate others into believing.
If they cheated, they’ll tell everyone else you cheated. If they were overly controlling and manipulative, they’re going to cry and speak about the terrible ways they were coerced and treated.
Narcissists will never take the blame for anything they did, because they don’t want to look bad.
Sadly, that’s where you come in. Get ready!
To Punish You
Perhaps you were strong enough to cut a narcissist out of your life. It may have even involved cutting narcissistic grandparents from their grandchildren. If you fall into a similar scenario, the narcissist is going to want revenge on you.
They will toss your name up in the air for all to see and attach lies about your character to you.
You’ll be the one they cut off. You’ll be the narcissist.
And those gullible rough to believe one side of the story will be drawn right into it too.
Narcissists believe punishment is due to you. There’s no compromise there as far as they’re concerned.
To Make You Look Crazy
You’re the only person who has known the narcissist truly all this time. You saw the Jeykll and the Hyde. You saw what they were like with the mask one, and who they really were once it slipped.
The narcissist knows this and will use it against you in the smear campaign. If everybody else you know sees them as a good person, you’ve got to convince them all that this isn’t the case. It’s a big task, and you won’t win everybody over.
That narcissistic charm will resurrect for self-gain – and you’ll witness it.
To Gain Sympathy
Sympathy is one of the top reasons the narcissist will inject a smear campaign into your life.
The lies they will tell to gain sympathy, and an understanding ear will be how your reputation crumbles. Narcissists don’t want to look like a victim until the only other option is to be completely outed by you.
It’s then prime time for the tears and need for consolation. As long as the narcissist comes out looking shiny and you end up looking like a monster – that’s all their aim is.
Sympathy also means people believe the narcissist over you. The stories told will never be relayed back to you, but you can only imagine the lengths toxic people will go to, to make you look bad.
