How could you?!
Yeah – I hear you. It’s the first thing I’d say to anybody who cheated on me.
Why?
Because I have values and morals! I expect my partner to match those and be loyal.
Narcissists are a different breed of human altogether, because they don’t have an ounce of conscience in their bodies.
They lie, they cheat, they steal, then they deny. When you’ve got the proof in front of you, you’ll first want to know why.
Well, I’ve got the answers, and I know they aren’t going to make for comfortable reading…
The Adulterous Narcissist: A Quick Run-Down
I’d say not all narcissists cheat, but I will quickly follow that with most narcissists cheat in some way. Cheating doesn’t have to be physical these days. So many narcissists go out of their way to connect with others for many reasons.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, expect no less from them.
What Does This Mean For You?
Disappointingly, if you’re with a narcissist, you’re at a high risk of being hurt by the disloyal acts of a narcissist. Finding out through social media, by seeing their phone, or simply by physically seeing them out with the person they’re cheating with – it’s all possible.
Why Does the Narcissist Need Attention?
These insecure creatures are well known for their need for attention. If there is none, they will create attention by drama or force – or both. Narcissists will not apologize for this, they don’t even see it as a problem, more like a right.
The narcissist will search for attention however they can, and that frequently occurs by finding new love interests to flirt or meet with. Sadly for you, this means they were never loyal to you, and never will be.
8 Reasons Why a Narcissist Will Cheat:
Hopefully these will give you a little more clarity! Let’s go.
They Feel It’s Their Right To
Narcissists genuinely believe they are situated in every sense above everybody else. They feel they have access to rights exclusive to only them, which is why it’s so easy for them to cheat.
Knowing they are simply doing what they feel is their given right – they accompany the cheating with the inability to see themselves as even doing anything wrong.
This is yet another air of self-importance that other people have to suffer the consequences of.
They Lack Impulsive Control
Narcissists don’t have any impulse control. You’ve probably been witness to the rage a narcissist can produce when things don’t go their way… well… that’s because they are unable to regulate their emotions.
Emotions as you or I know them don’t even exist in a narcissist’s mind.
They can’t help themselves, and they will act upon it if there is an opportunity to cheat.
They Don’t Care About Your Feelings
It’s a frightening thought, isn’t it? To be with somebody you love, who doesn’t care about your feelings underneath the pretense. Sadly, this is the reality for all those in narcissistic relationships. Love is something they just cannot feel.
Remember the phrase: in order to love others, you must first love yourself.
Well, this is the only explanation you need to know as to why the narcissist is unable to love you – because they despise themselves.
They might be aware that you’d be hurt if you found out you cheated, but their need and desire to cheat trumps whatever it is you’d feel in response.
Like I said… pretty frightening.
They Need Constant Admiration
Admiration must come to the narcissist, like room service.
They call for it, they ask for it, they get it.
As all troubled minds go, they will look wherever possible to gain admiration, because they need to know how brilliant they are at absolutely anything.
Narcissists are a magnet to admiration the way you may have been to their charm. They need praise, because it informs them they’re good at something.
They also need compliments to give them that emotional boost they’ve sought. If that means being with more than one person simultaneously, then so be it.
People Are Currency to Them
Imagine a coin in a pocket. To you or I, we would be grateful for that coin. We’d even treasure and cherish it. Narcissist’s aren’t content with having just one coin in their own pockets, they want a pocketful of change.
They Can Pretend to Be Anybody
The act a narcissist puts on to their audience is whatever they want it to be at the time. Because they detest their true self they pretend to be somebody else instead.
They can even hire cars, possessing a lot of cash so they can take it out in a wad when paying for something—whatever it is—they pretend.
It’s not unusual for people to discover that they were with somebody who was living a double life, and it can be incredibly painful to get over.
However, when I say painful, I mean painful for you, not them.
They Enjoy The Rush
Getting your thrills and kicks from roller coasters or surfing is one thing. Getting them from causing pain and inflicting harm on others through cheating is quite another.
Narcissists love the rush that cheating brings. The late night meet ups, the secret texts, the excitement of getting attention from somebody who isn’t their partner. It makes them feel alive; no moral reasoning would change that.
If you are a victim to somebody else’s rush, understand that you are not the one with the problem.
They Want to Blame You For Making Them
If cheating has occurred and you expose the narcissist, it’s not beyond them to blame you. Something you weren’t giving them, or acting as if you didn’t want to be in the relationship – they will tell you and make you feel terrible.
The problem is, as you know, nobody can force another person to cheat. No matter what problems couples face, it’s never an excuse to go off and gain attention, love or affection from another person.
If you have ever been blamed for the actions of the narcissist before, you should give yourself the chance to reflect on that and realize it had nothing to do with you at all.
This is all the narcissist!
Saving Yourself!
Cheating can be a great catalyst for you to channel what you want and to leave the narcissist behind. Nobody should be tolerating cheating so if it happens to you, use it as a chance to heal yourself and move on.
