Narcissists are so charming that they are like magnets to some people.
For those lucky enough, there is no power in being drawn to them. Still, for others, they feel absolutely pulled with the seemingly effortless demeanor of the narcissist, who reels in a person of a certain type, and starts quickly chipping away at them.
Surprisingly, these types of people can overlap into other types – but seeing the pattern will really help you find ways to repel the narcissist.
After all – they cause nothing but misery for all.
So, let’s get down to it.
#1 Children of Narcissistic Parents
Narcissistic parents are usually the catalyst for people to become magnets for narcissists in adult life.
No matter how miserable your narcissistic parents made you growing up, they did so while instilling habits, thoughts and beliefs into you.
You’re not worth this, you can’t do that, you can’t like that, nothing is good enough, and so on. What does that mean for you?
Setting the Bar Low
It means you’re only going to find somebody you feel is good enough for you, and that standard level isn’t going to be a high bar at all.
Growing up in a narcissistic house normalizes narcissism, and more often that you think, narcissism will never be something the person who experienced it as a child sees as something dysfunctional.
Where does that leave them?
It leaves them falling into the arms of narcissist after narcissist in adult life, with the constant confusion after things never seem to work out, or why they run into the same kind of self-esteem issues.
Narcissists love oblivious people. It means they don’t have to worry about ever being found out.
#2 Those Who Forgive
Giving somebody a second chance is sometimes valid in life. Where genuine, honest and regretful mistakes are made, forgiveness is a way for both parties to heal and learn from the experience.
Forgiveness = Problem!
A forgiving nature becomes problematic when a person is intent on seeing forgiveness as the cure all for all conflict.
It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it.
You had a bad day. Things will be better tomorrow.
I understand. You don’t need to explain.
These phrases, when in a narcissistic relationship, become daily. They become a get-out-of-jail card for the narcissist who knows that they can continue to punish, manipulate, or treat you with utter disdain that you will just shrug, smile, and say it’s all okay.
The narcissist loves forgiveness. They aren’t grateful for another chance to prove themselves, they’re only grateful for another chance to destroy you and get away with it again.
#3 People With Overly positive Outlooks
The world seems like a really unfair place when it puts overly positive people in the line of fire of a narcissist.
Let’s make each day count!
What a gorgeous morning, let’s put all our positive intentions into the universe.
You know what, a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life. Let’s find gratitude every day to remind ourselves how beautiful life is.
While this positivity comes as second nature to the positive person, it’s enough to make the narcissist gag secretly.
Why?
Because they know they can never, ever radiate as much love and light in an entire lifetime than a genuinely positive person with a sunny disposition can in a day.
The Bright Light of Happiness
Your light as a positive person will shine on the dark aura of the narcissist, and they will enjoy it. You will come with a label attached that the narcissist will love. That label reads:
They can’t be that bad, surely! I refuse to see their negativeness as a fault. Nobody’s perfect. I’ll give them a chance.
Of course you will. That is what draws you to a narcissist like a magnet: the idea that you can forgive and forgive and forgive.
#4 “Rescuers”
The rescuers know exactly who they are. They love the familiar story of meeting somebody and feel as though that person needs rescuing in some way.
With the best of intentions, the rescuer sees a problem they know needs solving, and they jump in with both feet, feeling like the magical fixer of everything.
Rescuers want to change the narcissist, but they want to do it with a good heart, and without the manipulation a narcissist might bring to the table if they were trying to do the same to somebody else.
They’ve had such a tough time of it. They didn’t have much money, so I will save them.
Sometimes, this can look like a very fast-moving relationship whereby the rescuer allows the narcissist into their lives, their homes – everything – with a swift speed that ignites an intense process of what they deem as healing and recovery.
Narcissists? Heal?!
The narcissist isn’t going to heal nor recover. You can give the money, give the time, and buy the story the narcissist is selling, but no matter what uncomfortable positions the rescuer finds themselves in, the rescue simply won’t take place.
The key is not to buy the narcissist’s initial sob story in the first place. Pay attention to the sad stories, because there is a lure behind it that they are planting on you.
#5 Empathic People
They care deeply, they leave the closest parking spot available for people who might need it more than them, they remember days that matter, they text to see how you are without agenda.
Empathic people are highly attuned to what’s right. They don’t try to be kind because they think they’ll get something out of it at the end – they are kind.
Empathic people, by nature, call and check-in, and the world would be a magical place if every person had natural, ingrained empathic traits.
A Battery Ready to Drain!
Suppose an empathic person without knowledge or wisdom of narcissistic personalities crosses paths with a narcissist.
In that case, the narcissist will draw them in knowing they have the full battery of somebody they can extract the energy and supply from that they need.
When the narcissist and the empath initially meet, sparks will fly. The narcissist will get everything they need from the empath, from conversation to adoration to sympathy.
Empaths are built to listen and understand, and the narcissist’s fragile ego accepts that fully and with keen confidence that they will finally be validated.
Home Run!
An overly empathic person will not understand or comprehend the scale of what they’ve got themselves into when they meet a narcissist. Still, the narcissist will immediately feel as though they’ve hit a home run.
They’ve now got everything they need.
