If a narcissist can get their claws in, they will. Manipulation is the plug pulled from your waters of sanity. No sooner has it been released, your sanity is quickly drained, and you’re left with nothing.
Running on empty doesn’t have to be your only choice, though. You can refill the waters again, leaving you feeling back in the driving seat of your life.
Taking the reins back means not allowing yourself to be manipulated, so if you want to know how to do that today, look no further—we’ve got you covered!
Keep Educating Yourself!
When you came here, you came because you needed advice, right? Well, you did come to the right place, and you need to visit it frequently to gain more knowledge about narcissism.
How it presents itself in people, and what you can do to both spot the signs of a narcissist and regain control back in your life.
Learn To Speak Up
Speaking up doesn’t have to look like confrontation – but the narcissist will see it that way, so there has to be an element of preparation if you are to use your voice more.
You could take the approach of simply stating that you are not willing to engage in a conversation that is going nowhere.
Other phrases can help push back their manipulation such as:
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“We both have a right to how we feel.”
“I am not going to speak with you because I don’t like how you are talking to me.”
You can find power in the words you choose to say, and they don’t have to be armed with ammunition – they can be spoken with grace and dignity.
Re-evaluate Your Boundaries
In a narcissistic world, boundaries don’t exist. You can hunt high and low for them, but you’ll never find them.
To them, boundaries exist in others only to be challenged and crossed. Their entitlement is like an instant invite to trespass on the sanity and dynamic of anyone and everyone – leaving no room for you to have your space and appreciate it.
If you feel your boundaries are being stepped upon, it’s time to reassert them. YOu can do so by:
Saying no to anything you don’t want to do.
Stick to your values.
Use the time to understand your worth.
Find The Calm
Keeping calm around a narcissist is something that comes to you in time, but the more you practice, the better you get.
Nothing, I repeat nothing disarms a narcissist more than a calm demeanor. This is because they aren’t getting a reaction from you, which is the one thing they desperately want and need.
Your calm is your center, which is balanced with the notion that you will not let their little digs and criticisms manipulate you any longer.
Remember – yelling or screaming back at a narcissist is like handing them a gallon of fuel. They need it, they love it and they want it.
Build a System of Support
This can look like so much, but most support systems come through building contacts with people who have experienced something similar to you, or speaking to family and friends about what you’re going through.
Sometimes, you’ll stumble across a person you thought you knew well, who fails to see what’s going on in the abusive light they ought to.
Don’t be disheartened too much. Once you get to the point where you no longer want to let a narcissist manipulate you, there will be people you will run into who either won’t believe you or offer support.
Healthy support systems are exactly what you need to be able to become your own person again.
Action: Not Promises
Narcissists love to talk. Their voices are filled with the promise of doing something. Yes, they will get right onto that. Of course, they would love to go out with you on Friday. Need a friend or someone to lean on? Call me! When you call them, they’re busy, and they won’t apologize for it either.
It’s easy to feel frustrated when you don’t see words and actions meet. You grow tired of the same old lines and tones of voice, and you fall into it every time.
You’re left wondering, will next time be different?
You need to see action, and if you can’t see that, then it’s proof that you are being manipulated by words that never come to fruition.
Manifest What You Deserve
You can go a long, long time not getting the things you deserve in life if you stick around in the company of a narcissist, did you know that?
Dreams stay dreams, goals remain unscored. The illusion that you cannot achieve them was turned into a reality by the person you placed initial trust on to keep you safe and love you.
The narcissist does neither of those things, whether friend, family or lover.
Sometimes, the only way to know what’s real is to trust yourself, but if you have spent large amounts of time with a narcissist, this may not come easy to you.
The missing piece of your puzzle is the knowledge that you can have the life you deserve if you can claw back control from the narcissist and understand your needs based on your own values and not their lies and orders.
Don’t Forget to Keep a Record
One of the most effective ways of stopping narcissists from manipulating you is to keep a record of things they say or do. Promises they make, times they said they’d be there, or moments they said something to bring you down.
This is a reflection practice that allows you to see that you are not the problem – in fact – you never were. Seeing it for yourself leaves them solely accountable, and breaks up your incorrect and manipulated belief that you are the one who causes all the drama.
Keeping a record means you get to see it and not show it off to the narcissist because they will inevitably accuse you of all kinds of things. Instead, be subtle, let what happens happen, and know they haven’t got one over you anymore.
Remember – This Isn’t About You
Lastly, it’s so important to remember that this isn’t about you. You are not the one with the problem.
Narcissism is a type of personality disorder that is so hard to diagnose. Diagnosing somebody means they willingly walk into a doctor’s office or clinic and are honest with their behaviors.
“Yes, I manipulate the people I know.”
“Yes, I love to lie and triangulate.”
“I love to criticize and belittle people.”
I think we can all agree – never going to happen!
As a result?
Narcissists are left untreated, unbothered, and unaffected by the damage they cause to other people.
They don’t care.
This was never your problem to fix; you simply got caught up in their chaos, and you are finding your way out with these tips to avoid further manipulation.
