Narcissists can be a confusing bunch. They’re hot and cold, up and down, so you never know where you stand.
They can be especially confusing at the end of a relationship. Previously, they acted like you were the center of their universe.
Then, with little warning, they suddenly flipped a switch and became cold and callous. One day, they break up with you, leaving you to wonder what went wrong.
Do they regret dumping you like this? The answer isn’t so black-and-white.
Why it depends on the situation
In many ways, narcissists aren’t very original. Narcissists, as a bunch, tend to show a specific set of traits.
These include lack of empathy, willingness to exploit others, extreme grandiosity, and a need for constant attention and admiration.
However, they aren’t always the same at the end of a relationship. How they act depends on the specific situation surrounding the breakup.
So, whether they regret leaving you can vary, based upon the breakup circumstances.
Reasons they won’t regret breaking up with you
As hard as it is to accept, there are situations in which the narcissist has no regrets about ending the relationship. In these cases, the narcissist has something to gain from breaking up with you.
Below are some of the top reasons the narcissist won’t regret a breakup.
They lack empathy
If the narcissist seems to show no regret after breaking up with you, it might have something to do with their lack of empathy.
If they feel they had a good reason to break up with you, they won’t regret it, even if it hurts you. Their lack of empathy prevents them from regretting how they handled things.
They have someone new lined up
Narcissists rely on their partners to provide admiration, attention, and whatever fuels their ego. If they feel they aren’t getting enough of this fuel from you, they might replace you.
When it seems the narcissist doesn’t regret the breakup, there’s a pretty good chance they’ve left you for a new love interest. If this new person meets their needs, they won’t regret the breakup.
They hold grudges
Narcissists don’t forgive easily when they feel someone has wronged them. So, if the breakup happened because the narcissist feels you did something wrong, they probably won’t regret it.
They’ll probably hold their grudge against you for quite some time, so they may not even have regrets after the dust settles.
They have something to gain from it
When the narcissist has something to gain from leaving you, they won’t regret the breakup. Let’s say they were offered a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity across the country.
Since narcissists are all about their own needs or desires, they won’t regret leaving you for a good opportunity. Ending the relationship might fulfill their immediate goals, which is all they truly care about.
Reasons they regret a breakup
While there are plenty of reasons a narcissist won’t regret a breakup, there are also times they do end up with regret. In these cases, the narcissist realizes that ending the relationship was a mistake.
In the following scenarios, the narcissist may regret breaking up with you.
Their new relationship doesn’t work out
When the narcissist leaves you for someone new, it doesn’t always work out. Maybe this new person quickly caught on to the narcissist’s games, and they ran for the hills.
If this happens, the narcissist will probably regret giving you up. They thought this new relationship was the answer to all their problems, but they were wrong.
Now, they realize they should have just stuck with you.
They miss what you offered them
Narcissists are notorious for picking people who have something valuable to offer them. Whether it’s beauty, money, or extreme devotion, narcissists certainly pick people who bring a lot to the table.
After the relationship ends, they might realize how much benefit you brought to their life. Now that you no longer cater to their needs, they might regret ending things with you.
They wish they had you again, playing the caretaker role.
Your life improves after the breakup
Narcissists are envious people, so they hate to see you doing well. Since they feel superior to others, they convince themselves their lives will take a turn for the worse after they break up with you.
When this doesn’t happen, and you thrive after the breakup, they’ll probably regret leaving you. How could you possibly be doing so well without them?
The narcissist can’t stand to see you happy and thriving, so they’ll regret leaving you. They think they deserve to be a part of your newfound success in life!
What it means when the narcissist regrets leaving you
If the narcissist comes running back into your life after a breakup, you might realize they regret leaving you. They’ll tell you they made a mistake, and they may even promise you everlasting bliss if you reunite with them.
For the typical person, admitting a breakup was a mistake means they truly missed their significant other and want to make changes to reconcile the relationship.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that this is how the narcissist feels. If they regret leaving you, it’s not because they genuinely care for you and your wellbeing.
What the narcissist wants from you
So, the narcissist admits they regret ending the relationship. What do they want from you when they come running back?
Sadly, the narcissist does not want to make things right with you. They didn’t actually miss you as a person and aren’t concerned about building a healthy connection with you.
What the narcissist really wants is for you to be back in their life, serving as a source of narcissistic supply. They need you to feed their ego with your love and devotion.
The narcissist regrets leaving you because of what you provided for them. They seek to regain what they lost when they ended the relationship.
The bottom line
Sometimes, narcissists regret ending a relationship, but it’s not because they love and care for you. They regret ending a relationship because they lost the benefits you provided to them.
They’ll likely come running back if they can’t obtain these benefits elsewhere. Don’t be fooled into thinking they actually care about your wellbeing; they just want to see what they can extract from you.
If the narcissist doesn’t regret leaving you, it’s because they found someone else to fulfill their needs. Consider yourself blessed; you no longer have to deal with them!
