If you are the envy of a narcissist – the first thing you need to realize is that you are doing something right in your own life.
Narcissists are never jealous of people whose lives are falling apart and who aren’t making something of themselves.
They won’t envy you if you are the person who plods along below the rate of attention and success.
Narcissists envy anybody who exudes what they lack. What does that look like for you? You’ll be surprised at just how closely they look at you and find ways to envy what you possess—from the material to the innate!
#1 Kindness
You can’t buy kindness. If you could, it would constantly be sold out anyway, and I can also imagine the long line of narcissists at the store waiting to buy it in bulk so people find real value in their character.
Unfortunately for them, this is not possible.
Kindness that you possess was not bought. It was not something you paid for, and it has no expiry date. It’s something you own, you have and you value. You don’t use it to gain attention or offer it to others, complete with terms and conditions.
Your kindness is a part of you, and that’s one huge reason why they can’t stand it.
#2 Your Success
What have you achieved today? I can guarantee – whatever it is – you are going to make any narcissist lose sleep, simply because it wasn’t them.
Any time you succeed, they aren’t. They won’t even be able to muster a ‘congratulations’ your way, and if they do, it is empty and insincere.
Narcissists can even go a step further and ask you questions about your success that minimize it or make you feel as though you didn’t do as well as you thought. Their attachment to your success is like an anchor, weighing you down.
#3 Positivity
You never fail to see the sunny side up in everything, which you’re proud of. You work hard to achieve what you have, remain upbeat and handle life’s difficulties well.
Narcissists are only happy for you when it involves them or benefits them in some way.
If they are a part of it, it means they are a part of something—that’s all a narcissist wants—but if you are positive and living your own life, their inflated ego won’t want others to be happy unless it’s because of something they did for them.
#4 Your Ability to Love
Love is something that should come naturally to us all, right?
Unfortunately, the answer is in fact, wrong.
A narcissist will believe they can love, but rather than time, affection and care, the love will look like offering money directly or paying for grandiose things such as holidays or meals out.
What happens after that?
They will hold it against you at the next opportunity, which is not love. Your true ability to love without condition is something they wish they had within them, but part of the narcissistic personality disorder is to be unable to fulfill that trait.
#5 Your Generosity
Why are you giving everything away? Your time, charity work, volunteering, helping your community.
You’re offering in a way that you don’t even consider to be a problem or something that could be used against your character, but to the narcissist, you are everything they hate about humankind.
They want to be the generous ones, and perhaps they even meet your generosity with even more (usually something easy and quick they can give, like money) to make themselves look better than you. Ultimately, that’s all they want—to be better than you.
#6 The Way You Shine
Sometimes, certain people only need to walk into a room and it shines. Radiating a natural glow and warmth is possible, and a genuine smile can go a long way. This is because people who see you believe in your radiance. It isn’t something you are buying or pretending to be.
This infuriates the narcissist – why would they tolerate you grabbing all the attention from them, even if that wasn’t your intention?
If you’re shining, they are in the dark, making them envious of you until they force a change in the dynamics, bringing them to the center of attention.
#7 Your Intelligence
Narcissists love to be at the top of their intelligence game. The top of their game means there’s no room for anybody else to be beside them with an equally or more intelligent mind. It’s a little like a sports league, and they are the team that must win every game, every season.
To the narcissist, intelligence is a sign that they know more than you. They love to impress and make people genuinely surprised that they know so much about so much.
#8 Sense of Humor
If you’re making people laugh, then what role does the narcissist have? It’s not within them to feel sidelined each time you make the people you’re with giggle or laugh out loud, and with that will come the inevitable conclusion that you’re a great person who is fun to be around.
If you’re fun to be around – then the narcissist is not. They wish they had your fire, but the truth is, they don’t even possess a spark.
#9 Something You Have That They Want
Did you recently get a new car, or buy a house? Maybe you invested in a wonderful, unforgettable holiday. Whatever it is you have that they want, you can be sure they will see nothing but envy when they look at you.
I work so hard, why them and not me?
How dare they show off like this?
Look at them, bragging about their stupid new car.
They’ll make no bones because their insecurities cannot keep them from doing so.
Don’t even be surprised if they try to sabotage what you have so that you can’t fully enjoy it. Critical ways to chip at your happy news will be their way of trying to cut you down to their level.
#10 Money, Money, Money
Narcissists love to earn money and show off because they believe their status is defined by what they earn and what they do with the money. Often you’ll see them brag about what they have, because to them, it equates to supply.
Think about Scrooge and how he loves to count his money, giving very little to others in return unless it holds conditions that are almost impossible to meet.
If you have the money, they will see you as competition. And narcissists HATE competition.
