Avoiding The Narcissist Guilt Trip: How To Protect Your Self-Esteem

If you are falling for a narcissist’s guilt trip, chances are you are already lacking self-esteem. You know how emotionally draining it is living with a narcissist. They are constantly seeking attention and using their guilt trips to control you in every aspect of your life.

Guilt trips are used to make you feel responsible for their negative feelings and emotions, getting you to do what they want. Don’t let a narcissist’s guilt trip control your life; you deserve a happy and healthy life. You are worth it.

How Do Narcissists Use Guilt Trips?

Narcissists use guilt trips to maintain control over you. This results in you feeling emotionally exhausted and responsible for things that you have absolutely no control over, and you constantly have the feeling that you are walking on eggshells.

There are three important things to look for to see if a narcissist is guilt-tripping you. These include:

Using threats and ultimatums

It’s not uncommon for a narcissist to use verbal threats or give you ultimatums when trying to get you to do something that they want.

This can be as simple as you wanting to visit a friend and they don’t want you to.

They may threaten that they won’t be here when you come back, or you may be forced to choose between being with them and visiting your friend for the sake of your relationship.

They use statements that make you feel guilty

This is another common way that a narcissist will guilt trip you when they don’t want you to do something that you want to do.

They will tell you how there isn’t enough cash for you to go out with your friends, as they need it. Or that they need the car for something important and you are leaving them in a tricky situation. 

They love playing the victim

A narcissist knows exactly what they are doing when they guilt trip you, but at the same time, they are excellent at playing the victim and leaving you feeling guilty.  Using this technique, they shift the blame onto you, making you question whether you’re mistaken.

There are several ways that you can protect your self-esteem when faced with a narcissist’s guilt trip.

How To Protect Yourself Against Guilt Tripping?

#1 Know the Signs of a Guilt Trip

Empower yourself by knowing the signs of a guilt trip to protect your self-esteem when dealing with a narcissist. Don’t fall into their trap, be empowered by identifying their goals and setting boundaries.

When you know the signs of a guilt trip, you are already that one step ahead of the narcissist, giving you the upper hand. This is so important when dealing with someone like this, enabling you to protect yourself.

Many narcissists use guilt trips as a way to maintain control over you, as a result, setting boundaries is a good way to reduce this from happening.

Narcissists love to break boundaries and see how far they can push you. Set and maintain your boundaries, clearly communicating these boundaries to the narcissist.

#2 Use Empathy

Once a narcissist has the idea in their mind that they are right, there is no changing it. To diffuse the situation or to calm an angry narcissist, you want to use empathy. Take the time to listen to what they say, considering you are not the problem.

Taking the time to listen and to care may be all that is needed to stop this narcissistic behavior in its tracks.

#3 Self-Care

When dealing with a narcissist, you must exercise self-care. Take the time to exercise, even if it is a walk in the fresh air.

Eat well and focus on your well-being. Having supportive friends and family is also important to helping you maintain control of your own life and keeping your self-esteem in check.

#4 Use Assertive Communication

When facing a guilt trip, it is important to be mindful of the words you use. The wrong word can result in the narcissist losing their temper and the guilt trip escalating. Remember, they think they are always right.

Assertive communication includes “I” statements when you express your feelings. Repeat yourself to ensure they have heard you, and remain calm in these situations.

Remain calm throughout the process, remind them of your boundaries, and, if necessary, ask for everything in writing. This is highly effective at stopping a guilt trip.

#5 Trust Your Instincts

Women are known for their intuition and “gut feel.” So use that to your advantage when dealing with a narcissist guilt trip. Don’t ignore the signs of a guilt trip; learn how to work with them. Remember, you are not responsible for their current feelings and emotions.

“Gut feelings” can range from anxiety to dread and excitement to feeling scared. Many women have worked out ways to calm their feelings when they feel something is off. If you are unsure if you are dealing with a narcissistic guilt trip, always trust your feelings.

#6 Ask Open Ended Questions

Don’t find yourself being blamed for something you didn’t do. Instead, validate the narcissist’s feelings by asking them open-ended questions. This is a great way to maintain your self-esteem and diffuse the situation.

When you are being blamed for the narcissists current emotions or feelings, you can say to them, “you appear to be upset, do you want to talk about it.”

Even if they throw all the blame your way, by being assertive and knowing the red flags of a guilt trip, you can keep your senses about yourself, reducing the risk of you feeling guilty. Remember to tell the narcissist that discussing why they are feeling this way is beneficial to them.

#7 Learn to Detach Yourself Emotionally

You are a strong woman, and you can cultivate inner strength. You can learn to distance yourself emotionally when faced with a guilt trip. This gives you the upper hand, allowing the narcissists to throw all the blame for their emotions your way without you feeling hurt or anxious.

When you distance yourself emotionally from a narcissist’s behavior, you protect your mind and well-being.

This is very important to remember, as many women are being treated this way by their narcissistic partners every day. Cultivate your inner strength to protect yourself and your self-esteem.

#8 Get Professional Help

Not coping with narcissist guilt trips? Maybe speak to a professional. Professional help is not something that makes you weak, in fact it can empower you and give you the strength to face any guilt trips head on.

If you have fallen into the cycle of narcissistic abuse and guilt trips, then you may find that professional help is the best answer. This is valuable when you lack self-esteem and confidence and doubt your self-worth.

With 5% of the global population being diagnosed as narcissists, 7.7% of these are men. This increases the chances of women finding themselves in relationships with a narcissist at some point in their lives.

Learn how to protect your self-worth when dating a narcissist. Always remember you are worth it, you are not wrong, and you deserve a happy and healthy future.

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