Are you tired of attracting Narcissits?
Understanding why you keep attracting Narcissists can help you prevent attracting them in the first place.
In this article, I will give you nine ways how you can stop attracting Narcissists.
#1 Practice Self-Love
Studies suggest that empaths are ideal targets for narcissists. Since empaths have a lot of compassion and love to give, narcissists thrive on someone worshipping them. For narcissists, this is a match made in heaven, but obviously not so much for you.
While showing kindness and compassion for others is normal, you should prioritize your needs. Lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem attracts narcissists. A person without self-love is an easy target for them. It shows that they can easily influence and manipulate you.
Self-confidence is crucial in every relationship and aspect of life; luckily, it’s something you can build for the long term.
The next time you meet someone you feel attracted to, show them you cannot be controlled or easily influenced. Self-confidence is one of the best narcissist repellants, even if you fake it till you make it.
#2 Listen To Your Gut
Sometimes, trusting your instincts is more than enough to prevent a narcissistic person from entering your life. Look for red flags, such as rude behavior with other people in normal, everyday situations.
You can tell a lot about people’s personalities by their treatment of servers in a restaurant, their handling of defeat, and their reactions to trivial things like a canceled movie or a dinner plan. A red flag is if the partner repeatedly comments on your outfit or tells you to change it.
Whatever it is, if a certain behavior makes you feel uncomfortable and something tells you this isn’t right, get out now.
#3 Set Boundaries and Stick To Them
If you are an empath, you’re an excellent catch for narcissists. You don’t like hurting people, so you’ll do anything for them to feel good. Sadly, narcissists misread this as being a pushover and a total people-pleaser.
This is why you should set clear boundaries, stick to them, and hold your ground, no matter how kind and compassionate you are. Show them you’re not afraid to point out their ridiculous behavior or leave the relationship. If you’re getting to know each other, clarify what you won’t tolerate.
Even then, they will try to push the limits, and you might be laughed at, but you have to commit to firmly guarding those boundaries, or everything will be lost. If they respect your boundaries, great! If not, it’s time to get out.
#4 Take Control Over Your Life
Some people are extremely needy and prefer others to handle things and dominate situations. They hardly enjoy their “alone time” and struggle with their sense of self. These people are codependent, and narcissists can spot them from miles away.
A codependent person will do anything to keep the relationship to avoid the feeling of being abandoned, which is what narcissists thrive on. If you think you’re codependent, you should consider counseling. A good therapist will help you reduce destructive behavior and start healthy relationships.
#5 Learn From Your Past Relationships
Everyone makes mistakes, but we can normally rebound by learning from our mistakes after messing up. So, if your previous relationships were not healthy, learn from that experience and explore all the challenges you faced.
It’s easy to get sucked into a similar relationship because that’s what you’re used to and find comfortable, but you’ll realize soon enough that you’re repeating a pattern you wanted to get out of badly.
#6 Educate Yourself on Narcissism
Nowadays, it’s easy to find answers to almost everything. To help yourself break a pattern of attracting and dating narcissists, start by searching the internet for narcissistic behavior.
The more you know about narcissism, the better you’ll handle situations with this type of behavior and avoid getting attached to a narcissist altogether. The faster you discover the red flags and warning signs of narcissistic behavior, the faster you’ll get out of the abusive relationship.
#7 Find Out The True Meaning of a Healthy Relationship
Suppose you consistently find yourself in a relationship with narcissists. In that case, you may want to reevaluate the real meaning of a strong and happy relationship and what love, care, and commitment are all about.
A healthy relationship is based on trust, mutual respect, honesty, support, communication, and love. Both partners thrive, care about each other, and only want the best for their loved ones. Manipulation in a healthy relationship is unknown territory, as none of the caring partners wants to see the other person hurt.
If your relationship lacks any of these elements, it’s not healthy, and it’s time to get out.
#8 Looks Is Not Everything
Yes, physical attraction draws people together, and we often can’t help it. However, if you’re looking for a long-term and committed relationship, you shouldn’t prioritize looks.
Often, physical appearance can blind you, and you won’t be able to see anything past your nose. But if you want to prevent another narcissist from entering your life, you should ask yourself the following questions: What do you have in common? Are they kind? How do they treat other people? Are they responsible?
Once you answer these questions, you’ll know whether you fell for their looks or if they have the whole package.
#9 Seek Therapy
Often, people who are attracted to narcissists have underlying issues. Perhaps you’ve been brought up in a family entirely of narcissists, and you don’t know any better. People tend to be attracted to what they’re used to as it makes them feel comfortable.
A counselor, a therapist, or a life coach will help you get to the root of the problem and help you learn how to steer clear of narcissists.
Takeaway
Narcissists are hard to detect at first. They use love-bombing tactics to quickly gain your trust and affection and completely blind you to their faults. To stop being a magnet for these people, you must first review a few things, ask questions, and reevaluate your situation.
Do you think you’re overly enthusiastic about meeting new people? Are you a people-pleaser? Do you have a hard time setting boundaries? Then your attraction radar is not off. Narcissists look for people precisely like you.
You should know that there’s nothing wrong with being kind and compassionate. Those are your strengths, and you don’t need to change your personality to stop attracting narcissists in your life.
You can assert your needs and interests and learn to read people’s intentions better. Finally, while you may not stop being a magnet for narcissists, you can help yourself by shifting your focus on choosing not to date one.
