Okay, I want you to think about a person in your life right now, who is narcissistic.

It doesn’t matter if they are friends, work colleagues, or family members – get them in your mind.

Now imagine life without their drama. Without their chaos. Without the division they bring to you and others in your shared circle. Would I be right in assuming that things would be…

Peaceful?

Calm?

Regulated?

I’m right, aren’t I? Of course!

Going no contact would bring you all of those things, but it is a huge decision that ultimately lays on your shoulders.

Before making your choice, I want you to consider everything that going no-contact would mean for you, so let’s dive in.

What is No Contact?

No contact is just that. 

You have had enough of the games, the abuse, the drama and the manipulation. 

You see the narcissist as nothing but an enraged, egotistical troublemaker and you are now contemplating ways to make your life more simple, more calm and much more enjoyable.

You don’t want them around, and there are steps you’re beginning to take to make that happen.

No contact is where you totally cut the narcissist off. Not just a little bit. You don’t see them every now and then at a function or dinner. You don’t cut down your time – you cut it completely. 

It is a tool used by many people who have reached the end of their last nerve with the narcissist, and who just want to be able to move on without knowing the narcissist is still lingering.

Why No Contact Works

What works better than not seeing somebody who brings misery to your life?

Absolutely nothing!

No contact is a sure fire way of promoting inner peace. There doesn’t need to be any other motive than to just want the chaos to stop. 

The narcissist as a result will no longer be able to control you. They won’t be able to manipulate you. Their tricks won’t get through:

They are receiving radio silence from you. 

It leads the narcissist to go and find another source – the next victim on their list they can apply their tactics to.

Bad for them? Yes indeed.

Good for you? Very much so.

Listen, you are going to make your own mind up about going no contact, but there are things to consider when you start to look at ways to oust the narcissist. 

Let’s take a look at those.

What Does Going No Contact Mean For You?

#1 Think About All Emotions…

So this is where the concept of going no contact can prove quite tricky, and what makes it so hard to think about getting to that point. 

No contact means you are saying goodbye to someone to enhance the enrichment and quality of your life. It means you can move on and feel an element of freedom, but because those who usually end up having to make this huge decision are kind, compassionate people, with it comes a plethora of confusing emotions.

Guilt.

Regret. 

Fear

Sadness.

Grief.

Yes – you are, to some extent, grieving because you are letting go of somebody and, alongside that, the idea of the person you wished they could have been for you. This is often the case with family members or friends because they should, by default, be an important member of your support system. 

The fact that they caused you so much pain along the way proves that they don’t have that palace in your life, and so you decide to let them go with grace. 

No contact can change and shift the dynamics a lot, leading me to my next point…

#2 Prepare for Backlash

It’s a sad but true fact that going no contact means you are likely to lose other people along the way. 

Known as flying monkeys, these are people the narcissist will recruit to do their dirty work for them. That can look like believing the stories the narcissist tells them, entering into discussions with you about how unfair you’re being, and how hurt the narcissist is… anything and everything to basically make you feel terrible. 

Losing people can work out in your favor – after all – if they really cared about you, why would they be so quick to believe the narcissist over you? 

I always tell people that there is always a big reason people decide to go no contact, so to never really lean to one side of the story to get it all.

#3 Peace is Restored

What’s that noise you can hear?

Oh that’s right, nothing!

Why don’t I feel angry at the dinner table when I’m talking about my day?

Ah yes. That’ll be because the narcissist isn’t amongst the topics of discussion.

Peace is restored.

It’ll take time to get into the habit of not having their drama encapsulating you, but after some time you will truly appreciate just how much love and healing there is to go around now the narcissist is no longer present, pressing your buttons and tapping into your emotional health. 

#4 Guilt Will Arise

Listen up here, because this part is so important. 

Guilt is a normal part of letting somebody go, even if that person was bad for you. 

You have been conditioned to rely on the narcissist. To believe them, and to do as you’re told. You were told to act a certain way to be accepted, and to never get on the wrong side of them. When they loved you, they loved you hard, but only then came the discard. 

Now – the world is yours for the taking. That initial burst of freedom can leave you almost feeling sorry for the narcissist.

This is where you have to remember – if you chose this – it was for a good reason. You chose peace because it called to you and told you it was an option, so you took it.

#5 You Might Slip Up – and That’s Okay

Hey, we’re all human, and sometimes we all slip up.

Why do people slip up after they go no contact?

Actually, a common way this is done is through sheer curiosity. The person who decided to go no contact is wondering if the narcissist has redeemed themselves.

They have seen A Christmas Carol too many times because, no, the narcissist isn’t running around the streets dancing and apologizing to everybody for being an old fool – they are still the same person they always were. 

Slipping up can sometimes mean getting a glimpse into the narcissist’s present life, rolling your eyes and realizing why you made that decision in the first place.

There’s nothing to be ashamed about here. Your good heart was wondering if people really can change, and sometimes they can.

Narcissists are not one of those people.