There’s a huge difference between not liking people sick, and not liking sick people.
The healthy of us aren’t fans of hearing our friends or family aren’t well.
What can I do to help?
Feel better soon!
Get plenty of rest.
Narcissists? Any sick person will fall into either of two categories:
A nuisance or a fraud.
What is it about sick people they detest so much?
Let’s find out.
#1 They Minimize or Deny Illness
Oh come on, you can’t be that sick!
Well, you seem alright; you just have to get on with it.
Try being me! I Have to work no matter how “unwell” I feel.
You’ll all agree – none of those phrases are helpful in any way but they do prove the narcissist is all about themselves.
Keen on downplaying your aches and pains they know will bring you sympathy from others, the narcissist can almost deny you of your sickness altogether.
What happens next?
Well, you’ll end up sick and full of guilt. When a person says they’re unwell, what the narcissist hears is:
I’m in line for more attention than you for the next few days.
Does that sit well with them?
What do you think…
#2 Medical Staff Loss of Communication
Being sick can sometimes mean a trip to the doctors or hospital. It might even involve the narcissist needing to take down or remember vital pieces of information about you from medical staff that they aren’t really going to focus on listening to.
It has been known that things can get pretty serious with people who are relying on the narcissist to help them, only for them to malfunction before their eyes literally.
They don’t possess empathy, emotional intelligence, or any skills that help people who genuinely need them at that moment.
Narcissists lose themselves in these situations and it never looks good on them, so they’d prefer it if you just stayed well, thank you very much.
#3 They Don’t Visit Unless There’s Something in it For Them
If you have to stay in hospital for a time, or if you are truly unwell and recovering at home – don’t expect a visit from the narcissist.
That is… unless there’s something in it for them.
Narcissists will busy themselves so that they don’t give you any attention (yes, even when you’re sick!), but if they know you’re getting other visitors – they’ll be there!
Bells, whistles, balloons, cards, get well teddies – they will swan in and be the hero.
Oh, you’re so lucky to have them in your life!
How thoughtful of them to be there for you like this!
Eye roll.
Narcissists are so insecure that they will fish for compliments even when you are unable to fend fully for yourself. What does this do?
Well – it takes the attention away from you for starters!
You know they aren’t the hero, and you’re also brutally aware that the mask will come off when these people disappear and you’re left alone.
Narcissists don’t like you being sick, so if they can find a way – any way for it to benefit them – they will!
#4 “It’s Your Fault You’re Sick!”
Ah yes, blame you! You’re an inconvenience!
Narcissists refuse to see how your being unwell doesn’t affect them and their plans in some way.
Sometimes this can be because perhaps they have to get their finger out and do something instead – and they don’t want to.
The resentment derives from the idea that they have to clean up after you. That might mean getting the groceries, doing the laundry, or keeping the house clean. If you have kids, it can also include getting them to school or making sure they’re looked after.
But hey – it’s your fault.
#5 They Want to be the Sick Ones
I want to see a show of hands for all those who have been unwell, and been trumped somehow by the narcissist.
Oh, I think I’ve done my back in!
I feel really, really unwell.
I can’t help you, I am sick too, and it’s really bad.
Okay – I’m going to let you in on something real that happened to somebody I know. A relative of theirs had an emergency, and had to be taken to hospital. Once home, her partner actually said he had lost his memory. He couldn’t remember who people were, or what was going on at all. Once down at the doctors, he passed all memory tests with flying colors. It hasn’t been an issue since.
That one time something big happened to the relative – her narcissistic partner decided to ‘one up’ by creating a false illness to regain some attention for himself.
Narcissists stop at nothing to get what they want.
#6 They Will Please Themselves Through Your Illness
Ultimately, the narcissist sees your illness as an inconvenience. They won’t tend to your needs, and if they do, it’ll be conditional.
I looked after you when you were feeling rubbish, the least you could do is help me now.
After all I did for you last week.
You’ve soon forgotten the ways I ‘ve helped you.
I did that for you, now you have the nerve to treat me like this.
Sorry, what?
As the narcissist pleases themselves through your period of sickness, they will get through it however they see fit. Throwing you a breadcrumb of affection here to them constitutes real care and concern.
Even the bare minimum is nowhere near the level of love a healthy person will offer someone they care about when they need it the most.
#7 “Hot Potato”
Hot potato usually happens when a family contains more than one narcissist. The sick person will be a pain to them, so they will do what it takes to take absolutely no responsibility for their welfare.
It’s your turn today, I did it yesterday.
Well, I’m busy. You’ll have to.
It can go on like this until the sick person is better because the narcissists collectively just ‘don’t have time for it.’
Narcissists love to look busy, even if they aren’t. They want their lives to be full of important deadlines and meetings so it seems as if they have a life outside caring for sick people. Hot potato is a tool used to justify that.
It’s hurtful to be sick and in the presence of a narcissist. They will somehow always try to demean you and make you feel slightly smaller than you were before, just by questioning how sick you actually are.
But hey…
If the narcissist is sick?…
They expect the world to stop for them!
