I could write an entire book on the worst things you can do when dealing with a narcissist. All those things would boil down to the one take-home message I need to convey to you.
Believing a narcissist is like opening up your heart, your trust, and your kind and compassionate nature only to see it all be crushed before you.
I repeat that no good can come from believing them because they are full of lies. Narcissists don’t know how to be honest – they were not born with an ounce of sincerity.
Here’s why.
What’s So Bad About Believing The Narcissist?
Your good heart is likely to be honest and true. That’s why you’ve applied so much trust into believing the narcissist in your life. From a co-worker to a friend or family member – narcissists are everywhere, and escaping them altogether is impossible.
You can do things to help strengthen your boundaries when they present themselves, but the most effective way to keep yourself safe is not to believe a word they say. Don’t believe their smile, don’t believe their actions, don’t believe their promises.
Being let down is incredibly painful. Assuming people hold the same values as strongly as you are a good trait you have that proves you value honesty and consistency in people’s behavior highly.
The narcissist doesn’t.
The sooner you realize that the sooner you can escape the idea that they mean good.
They come to cause problems and conflict because they thrive off the drama and won’t stop until they see a sea of chaos they will happily sail away from.
Believing them is the key ingredient in creating that storm, so to avoid it – avoid believing them.
Why a Narcissist Wants You Believing Them
Imagine the world’s most lonely, insecure and sad person. You feel sorry for them, right? In your mind, they are isolated and alone; you only want to be there for them and support them.
Kindness invokes those feelings, so you aren’t at fault for wanting to help. A narcissist, however, does not present themselves in such a manner.
Loneliness, insecurity, and sadness still exist, but they are all masked by the supply gained from other people. They beg, steal, and borrow everything from confidence to kindness, but they are short-lived and desperately need more supply.
If you were to believe a narcissist, it would mean that their manipulation tactics have worked with you. They have pulled you in, and taken full advantage of your naturally kind nature.
They want you to believe they’re a good person because they need to be liked.
The Narcissistic Rage
The narcissist is like a walking volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. They are constantly creating mini earthquakes wherever they go, with people feeling the earth beneath their feet become more and more unsteady.
When that volcano finally blows, you’ll know about it.
Verbal aggression, shouting, name-calling, manipulation, threats, or even in the more extreme cases – physical violence all come out, and you never know what you’re going to get.
Narcissistic rage is filled with lies, but because they are presented in such intense manners, it’s easy to believe everything that’s said.
How useless you are.
How terribly you acted.
How you constantly get everything wrong.
All the unfair ways you treated them.
It’s all to gain attention and put you back in that familiar corner of the room where you put your hands up and constantly apologize until they are satisfied.
Their rage is the catalyst for your begging for their forgiveness.
Being Your Own Person is Not Okay to The Narcissist
Losing yourself is one of the consequences of spending too much time with a narcissist. They strip you of your color and vibrancy because they don’t like how it looks on you, plus they want it for themselves.
As they work covertly (or overtly) to strip you of your personality and confidence, they will place it upon themselves, look in the mirror, and say, “Don’t I look good?”
Once you start to feel yourself slipping away, you will lack the confidence to believe in yourself any more, giving them much more space and availability to tell you that you are an awful person.
They may not say those words directly, but they will make you feel that way as they throw yet another insult at you, accuse you of being lazy, keep you from your friends, laugh at you if you begin a new hobby – the list goes on and on.
Believing them means fitting into the box they’ve carved for you that looks nothing like you. Believing them means you started to doubt yourself long ago, and now you don’t recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror.
The Worst Thing For Them… or You?
The belief you bestow upon a narcissist when you believe them is only going to end badly for you. Their charm has led you to hand that power over, and as soon as it is in their possession, they will begin proceedings to hurt you.
It doesn’t stop there, with gaslighting being the usual next step in distorting your reality and making you question your own sanity with cloudy facts.
Of course, this is designed to make you doubt yourself, but when you believe it, you leave yourself behind in favor of it.
Don’t be Gaslighted
It’s time to take a stand and see that believing anything the narcissist says or does is true. This is the highest form of emotional abuse that a person can serve.
The trauma behind believing what they say can last a lifetime and affect every single area of your life. They will eventually make you think you cannot live independently or away from them. They want you hooked to them so they have a constant supply extracted from your good nature.
Narcissists will make promises and tell you that you’re crazy if you remind them of them. Failure to materialize should prove that they don’t keep their word, and continuing to believe them will only lead to more heartache as time passes.
So, the next time you are offered a chance to believe anything that comes out of the mouth of a narcissist – ask yourself – “Do I want to get caught up in this, or can I think for myself and live the life I choose rather than what they expect of me?”
