Remember the gut punch, the icy sting of not mattering to your loved one – your significant other whose actions reek of indifference, making you feel unimportant, unwanted?
The Narcissist needs to be superior to you, and to be like that, and they have to make you small. For them to be important, you have to be Unimportant. Most conflicts are based on this assumption: you are questioning their superiority, and for that, they have to make you even smaller.
In this article, I’ll show you nine things narcissists do to make you feel unimportant and unwanted
#1 Constant Criticism
They may relentlessly pinpoint your shortcomings or mistakes, leading to feelings of insufficiency.
When dealing with a narcissist, you might find yourself constantly under scrutiny as they relentlessly pinpoint your shortcomings or mistakes, making you feel inadequate. It’s like living under a microscope, where every move you make is analyzed and criticized.
They’re adept at highlighting your flaws while downplaying their own. This continuous criticism isn’t about helping you grow; it’s a means to make you feel small and unimportant. It’s a tactic to keep you on shaky ground, so you always strive for their approval.
But remember, their criticism isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a manifestation of their insecurity. You’re not inadequate; they’re just trying to make you believe you are. Stand tall against their barrage of negativity; you’re stronger than their words.
#2 Gaslighting
They can erode your self-confidence by manipulating situations to instill self-doubt, making you question your sanity or judgment.
Often, narcissists use gaslighting as a cunning strategy to erode your self-confidence, manipulate situations, and instill self-doubt, making you question your sanity or judgment. They’re experts at twisting reality, creating confusion, and leading you to mistrust your perceptions.
Imagine you’ve clearly remembered an event, but they insist it happened differently. Bit by bit, they chip away at your confidence until you start doubting your memory, understanding, and sanity. They may say things like ‘You’re too sensitive’ or ‘You’re imagining things’, making you question your reactions.
This psychological manipulation can leave you feeling isolated and powerless, doubting your reality. It’s a dangerous tool in the narcissist’s arsenal, designed to make you feel unimportant and unwanted.
#3 Overbearing Confidence
Their inflated self-importance and artificial confidence can overshadow and diminish your sense of self-worth.
Just as the narcissist uses gaslighting to erode your confidence, their overbearing confidence and inflated sense of self-importance serve to overshadow and diminish your sense of worth.
They’ll strut about, chest out, and voice raised, filled with an unjustifiable certainty. They’ll talk over you, dismiss your ideas, and refuse to acknowledge your achievements. The aim? To make you feel small and insignificant.
Their insistent need to be the smartest, most talented, or most successful person in the room can leave you feeling overlooked and undervalued. They use a tactic to ensure they remain the center of attention, the focus of admiration.
#4 Entitlement
They often act entitled, placing their needs and desires over yours, making you feel neglected or insignificant.
You might notice a sense of entitlement in narcissists, as they consistently put their needs and desires above yours, causing you to feel neglected and insignificant.
They act as if they’re entitled to everything, disregarding your wants, wishes, and feelings. This selfish demeanor can leave you feeling like you’re merely a background character in their grand performance.
They may demand attention, expecting you to drop everything to cater to their every whim without considering your needs or plans. Narcissists also tend to invade your personal space, assuming they have the right to do so.
They’re not above dismissing your achievements simply because they don’t match their inflated self-importance. Their pervasive sense of entitlement makes you feel small, unwanted, and unimportant.
#5 Blame-Shifting
Narcissists are experts at projecting their faults onto others. They can make you feel like you are the one causing problems.
In the twisted world of a narcissist, it’s always someone else’s fault, especially when that someone is you. They’ve mastered the art of shifting blame, so when things go wrong, fingers point your way. It’s a relentless cycle where you’re constantly accused of causing problems even when you’re not at fault.
Imagine a scenario where they’ve upset you. Instead of acknowledging their actions, they twist the narrative, making you the wrongdoer for getting upset in the first place.
They’re quick to criticize and slow to apologize if they ever do. This blame game leaves you second-guessing, feeling guilty, and questioning your worth.
#6 Attacking
They may resort to personal attacks or insults, particularly when their egos feel threatened, causing you to feel unimportant.
When a narcissist’s ego takes a hit, they often lash out with personal attacks and insults, making you feel insignificant and unimportant. This isn’t about you. It’s their defensive response to a perceived threat to their self-worth.
They may twist your words, blame you for their actions, or belittle your feelings to elevate themselves. Their attacks can be direct or subtle, but the goal is always to make you feel small so they can feel big.
You might find yourself doubting your value or questioning your worth.
#7 Taking Credit
They may steal credit for your accomplishments, leaving you feeling undervalued and overlooked.
Not only do narcissists attack your self-worth, but they also have a knack for stealing credit for your accomplishments, leaving you feeling undervalued and overlooked. It’s a common tactic in their arsenal.
They’ll claim your ideas as their own, suggest they played a key role in your success, or ignore the effort you put in. This isn’t just frustrating; it blows your confidence, making you question your abilities.
#8 Playing the Victim
When something goes wrong, narcissists often make themselves out to be the victim, manipulate your emotions and make you feel guilty.
You’ll often find narcissists painting themselves as victims when things go awry, skillfully manipulating your emotions and instilling guilt.
It’s their way of evading responsibility and keeping you off balance. Suddenly, you’re the one apologizing, and they’re the one nursing a wounded ego.
It’s no surprise if you find yourself tip-toeing around them, afraid to cause another catastrophe. They use your compassion against you, twisting your empathy into a weapon. They’ll play the victim, but remember, it’s all part of their game.
Don’t let them use your kindness as their escape route. Stand your ground. You’re not the one at fault here. Recognize the manipulation for what it’s – a pitiful attempt to make you feel unimportant and unwanted.
#9 Ignoring or Invalidating Your Feelings
Narcissists may readily dismiss your feelings or experiences, leading to feelings of insignificance.
It’s a common way for narcissists to dismiss or invalidate your feelings, making you feel as if your experiences and emotions don’t matter. They may belittle your thoughts, making you question your judgment. This can be especially damaging, making you feel insignificant and unheard.
Narcissists don’t just ignore your feelings; they actively invalidate them. They may tell you you’re overreacting or your feelings are wrong. This behavior is part of their control strategy – by belittling your emotions, they maintain the upper hand and keep you off balance.
Final Words
Do you recognize these patterns? You’re not alone.
Try to understand that this behavior concerns them, not you. Don’t let their tactics chip away at your self-esteem. You’re worth more than their criticism and manipulation.
It’s okay to set boundaries, seek support, and prioritize your mental health. Remember, you’re important and deserving of respect and kindness.
You have the strength to navigate this and come out stronger.
