The Narcissist Remarries

Why would a narcissist get married? And why do they often rush to RE-marry? How can someone who has a history of cheating and lying, who lacks empathy and compassion, and who has proven that he/she has no desire of upholding their vows… get remarried?

Narcissists often rush into marriage and then remarriage. If narcissists are afraid of intimacy and commitment, why and what would posses them to want to marry so fast? Is there something in the narcissist’s mind about the ‘new source’ that makes them more prone to such a drastic step?

The Narcissist ALWAYS has a Motive

First, narcissists always have motives. When a narcissist rushes into a relationship and remarries quickly, you can be rest assured there is SOMETHING in it for them. It could be money, fame, friends, assets, power, control-there is always something in it for them. Always!

Second, narcissists are always concerned about their image and narcissists need people more than the typical person does. Narcissists have very specific reasons for being in relationships, but their reasons do not reflect the universal need most of us have -which is to love. Narcissists do not enter or stay in relationships for love. They become involved in relationships in order to ensure their needs are met, to obtain Narcissistic Supply.

Furthermore, narcissists are addicted to attention. Securing it is their dominant drive. If his ‘new source’ provides him with the ability to obtain that which he could not achieve on his own, he will go to great lengths to secure this as a constant source of Narcissistic Supply. There is almost nothing a narcissist won’t do if he thinks it will bring him fame. To him, there is no such thing as bad publicity. Any publicity is good publicity, even through marriage.
An additional point to make is that the narcissist considers himself special and not understood by just anyone. He or she feels they are unique and rare while most other human beings are common and ordinary. Therefore, a narcissist will only associate with others of high status or intellect, for they feel ONLY these people can possibly understand them.

Thus, a narcissist evaluates whether he wants to develop a relationship with someone on the basis of their utility. How useful a person will be to him is the measure of their worth. He chooses friends and his partner(s) based on how well they can help him get attention or reach his goals. It is not uncommon to find when a narcissist remarries it is to someone younger to promote their self image as being younger. Depending on how ‘worthy’ the victim is in obtaining his goal, will also depend on how quickly the narcissist moves in their relationship.

In reality, a narcissist chooses to develop relationships only with those who are perceived as superior, attractive, or unique in some way. By associating with others who attract attention, he ensures that he will never be deficient in Narcissistic Supply.

The Narcissist and Instability

Since there is no complete control over the quantity and quality of Narcissistic Supply, it is bound to fluctuate. The narcissist’s view of himself and of his world is correspondingly unstable. As “public opinion” ebbs and flows, so does the narcissist’s self-confidence, self-esteem, sense of self-worth, or, in other words, so does his Self.
The narcissistic personality is unstable in each and every one of its dimensions. It is the ultimate hybrid: rigidly shapeless, stanchly flexible, and reliance on the opinion of people whom the narcissist undervalues. The narcissist’s lability is so omnipresent and so dominant – it could be said that the only stable trait they possess is their instability.

The narcissist does everything with one goal in mind: to attract Narcissistic Supply (attention). He asks not what he can do for the world – but what the world can do for him as far as Narcissistic Supply goes. He falls in and out of love with people, workplaces, residences, vocations, hobbies, interests – because they seem to be able to provide more or less Narcissistic Supply and for no other reason.

It is not uncommon to find chaos and instability in the “career narcissist”. This narcissist marries, divorces and remarries with dizzying speed. Everything in his life is in constant flux: friends, emotions, judgments, values, beliefs, place of residence, affiliations, even hobbies. Everything, that is, except his work. His career is his only place of stability. The career narcissist is often ruthless, demanding, demeaning… and highly successful.

References

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq32.html
http://getoveranarcissist.com/narcissist-narcissism-marriage/

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About Alexander Burgemeester

29 Responses to “The Narcissist Remarries”

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  1. ishmal says:

    Is a narcissist able to maintain his second marriage?

  2. Susan says:

    From the narcissist that I know, they can maintain a second marriage IF the new spouse is a giver and feeds the narcissist constantly. However, this same person (woman), is prone to cheating when her husband is not available (working a lot of hours). As long as the narcissist continues to get attention and whatever else they need, they might be able to stay in a relationship. It all really depends on what their spouse does for them. I also have seen how when her husband works long hours, and she doesn’t see him often enough, she goes out a lot more, texts her ex-husband over ridiculous things with their daughter, and has cheated on him. When she remarried a year after her first failed marriage, she made sure everyone knew “he was the ONE”. She got pregnant right away, so she could get more attention, bought a HUGE house so she could show everyone how successful she was after remarrying this amazing guy. As long as her life continues to appear fabulous, she will keep this guy around. Poor guy…he is really nice, and she takes total advantage of him. So, I guess if they marry a doormat, it could work.

  3. marla calvert says:

    This was very helpful. I am going through a divorce right now. I am still trying to figure out why he stayed in our marriage so long.

  4. Max says:

    I did not know what, and really who I was until recently. My first marriage went along the path of codependent and narcissist. Great at first then distant and unhappy. The manipulation was very subtle but the flashes of rage was not. After that divorce my second wife was 15 yrs younger, ego boost and all. It seemed grand until my son was born then the cracks appeared, I wanted her for just me. She is an amazing person that has made the wise decision to leave me. I do feel love for her but that something that I’m missing that drives my behavior leaves me only guessing. She lead me to therapy, and gave me the gift of knowing who I really am, then went away to be happy.

  5. paul says:

    Rediscovering narcissism and interested to read the above comments. The most beautiful eastern european woman came into my life just over a year ago. I was recovering from the loss of a parent and was physically and mentally in very bad shape. Then this shot of light came into my darkness so much so that I thought I’d experienced a hallucination. Oozing with charm, passion, energy and joie de vivre I thought she must have been heaven sent to pull me out of my dark place. To cut a long story short, she played with me for months on end like a cat would play with a sick/dying mouse. Truly I was like a door mat and made the fatal mistake of showing my love/emotional hand too soon (she said.) I was only responding to her overtures but of course was in head over heels very quickly. She looks like a young Marilyn Monroe with high cheek bones – a real trophy girl who, despite a very rough life and childhood looks exactly half her age. I read somewhere the N’s otherworldliness serves to keep them young looking. I’ve lost count of the times she promised to visit me and would then text me at the last minute to cancel. I’d get a “string you along” text then full of exclamation marks an emoticons or even a “selfie” of her body parts. If ever there was such a thing as virtual or cyber sex she excelled in it. This went on for months and we never even kissed properly. Always said it was in her fantasy to have great sex with me but when it came to action…
    Promised a few weeks ago that FINALLY she would have time for us…She cancelled yet another meeting and I read her the riot act listing all the things she was/did: self-righteous/lacking empathy/insensitive/never observing boundaries etc. She called me back angrily and chastised me and hung up. Two weeks later and I see photographs of her “new man” on facebook. She’s teasing with her provocative comments and endless selfies. He’s much closer to her in age and looks than I am – more of a trophy good catch. It’s very hard not to feel jealous. Just wish I could have been him. I’m wondering sometimes if she was just using me as a plaything and wasn’t necessarily a narcissist at all. The evidence is there in the literature that they don’t change their spots and go on to abuse the next person down the line…But what would that say about the new man, herself and me if they lived happily after – could, if she was an N. he handle her impulsiveness, mercurial attitude, lack of empathy etc? Do you think if she really liked him/was in awe of him she’d modify her behaviour to suit? ……..and if I hope (secretly) that she burns him out too does that make me a narcissist instead of hoping that she gets better and they live happily ever after?

    • Kat says:

      Just a thought here….the temptation to compare her new companion with you is real…but try to resist. Your life is to be lived with respect to where you have come from but with the greatest courage to love yourself enough to move forward (and find a support system of friends that will help you). Any thoughts of “her” can have the potential to emotionally tie you back to her….look in the mirror tomorrow morning and believe that there are healthy women in the world that can love and can support and genuinely do it from their heart.

      • Traci says:

        I really like your response. Saying move forward instead of move on, is so important to hear. Because you never move on, you just go forward and learn how to deal with the pain and agony of what this reptilian type people do to your life.

  6. Jenn says:

    My sister is now on her 4th marriage and she is a difficult person to understand. She is the one who has filed each divorce and it seems like her past marriages do not end on a happy note. There is usually an event that she seems to orchestrate to finally get rid of the person. With all of these incidences happening she always paints her exes as the bad guy and how controlling and “narcissistic” they were. Her behavior is erratic and she leaves her children home often to go on long trips with whoever is her husband or boyfriend at the time. She rarely listens to anything you say when you talk to her and is continually talking about herself and only likes to gossip about others. My family and I have been trying to pinpoint what exactly her mental problems are and have figured that Narcissism could be a possibility.

  7. Natasha says:

    I was the second wife to a narcissist. He asked me to marry him after two months. Nine months later we were married, and a year after that I had a baby. When I finally had the guts to finally get away from him, he refused to divorce me or sign paper. He needed that status of me leaving him. He made up some elaborate story to make me look bad to everyone. even went on a “smearing campaign” with ex friends to talk bad about me and get discriminating knowledge about me.
    I was finally rid of him, I bought a house for my daughter and I. Because I was stable, he tried sweet talking me and I could tell he was trying to move back into my life again.
    Three months later, he found a new victim. Slapped a ring on her finger after 4 months, moved into her house. And is now at my throat for custody. Making up lies, getting PFAs by making up stories about me. His new supplier is giving him money to do all this.
    So be very very careful with a narcissist. Take notes for EVERYTHING! I have notes from 2012 about him and what he’s been doing.
    Tehy are tricky and master liars. Be very very careful

  8. Carolynn says:

    One of the hardest things about recovering from divorce from a narcissist is the “How did I not see this reality? What was I thinking?” self-castigation post divorce. My ex- drifted from job to job, career to career, mostly not working, but always lamenting what his purpose was. (Let’s call it lazy or fearful?). I was very successful in my work and commenced my doctorate part-time while also raising his 3 children (his wife had died). I brought my young child into this marriage. I was divorced from an alcoholic who later died of his disease. And yes, I have gone to alanon and counseling- because in my self-recriminations, I realized my giving nature had lacked boundaries. The behaviors of my ex- deteriorated into controlling and bizarre rants. He refused to let us use air conditioning or heat, yet he was a wealthy man (inherited). We lived in his house (he refused to get a mutual home). I signed a pre-nupt. I paid for household expenses and his kids needs and our health insurance from my salary. We adopted each other’s youngest kids about half-way through the 10 yr marriage (the others by then had gone to college). But he totally flaked out and picked on my daughter relentlessly and cruelly when his youngest was off at college. It finally got so bad I had to leave and counselors told me that he had clear signs of sociopathic behaviors. We tried a reconciliation but his constant abandonment kept occurring. It was as if he was trying to force me to make the decision to leave. His response to divorce is to walk away and not answer emails or calls from me or my daughter (the one he adopted). After our divorce, his first wife’s family came out of the woodwork with stories of his narcissistic behaviors towards his wife and neglect of his kids after she died. They were so enthralled with the hope of me taking care of those kids- they practically marketed him to me when we first dated. (I did tell them that I did not appreciate this late version of reality when I brought my 2nd grader into this situation- feeling they were complicit; they wanted the kids to have a mom who cared. His children stay with me or their maternal grandmother when they are in town, not with him and call me Mom (saint mom- right!?!). We are divorced 2 yrs now. He is now engaged to a Chinese immigrant who barely speaks English. They met on the internet.

    Because of the prenupt- I lost all of that money I put into the marriage, and was never reimbursed, even for the years of paying health insurance from my salary benefits. That is a material thing which is easy to let go of. The silence is a strange and cruel behavior that is harder to forgive, not the silence towards me, but the silence toward my daughter. It has destroyed a piece of her. And I feel anger about that, I must admit. An emotion that is never allowed tp be expressed in a spouse of a narcissist.

    It’s really a sad thing.

    His kids will attend his wedding- I told them to stay out of the business of “warning” Ying- it’s none of their business. He is marrying her on the 30 yr anniversary of when he married his deceased wife. Just bizarro!

    I want to let all this go- but I get brain buzz when I’m with all the kids- like at Christmas and with this news of his engagement, I’m stunned. I feel stupid for feeling that!

    • T. J says:

      Please don’t feel stupid. Stop thinking that way. Let go of your financial input like the health insurance etc. Think gratitude. Your problem is now someone else’s, you were able to take care of all the kids as much as you could, you survived the relationship, you didn’t loose your life, your sanity, your weren’t driven to take his life with all you went through. You have your freedom, as in you are not locked up as a result of this r/ship.i could go on and on. Look for all God has done for you and be grateful. U will feel better.

  9. Sharon says:

    The N. I was married to for 28 yrs just remarried. He didnt tell our kids anything until after the fact and plastered pics all over facebook. We were divorced 4 yrs ago. He married a retired nurse 10 yrs his senior. After a 2 yr relationship. She is a widow. I’ve been told he degrades her and was willing to marry on the condition she provides income to support our adult daughter & grand daughter who live with him. Could a second marriage actually last with these type conditions?

  10. Devin Calvert says:

    Simple. That’s because I’m not the narcissist you tried to make me out to be. Isn’t is funny that I’m not the one who rushed out and jumped into another marriage…..

    • Liv says:

      This… My ex was engaged a month after i moved out… We were still working on our marriage… At least years what he said. I’m divorced now and he lets his new girl believe i did all kinds of crazy… He said and did terrible things..m still calls me late at night when she isn’t there from Nick numbers and leaves me messages about how we child still work it out… He’d leave her and his kids.. She’s pregnant now with his fifth kid… Thankfully i had no kids. He’s ill… She enables him and he’s disgusting to get and me… But one day she’ll see i feel sorry for her. Their whole marriage was just some prop to make him look like a victim

  11. Kat says:

    The vows in our wedding that my second husband and I spoke were the ones we created to take us through our life journey ahead… we took a class called saving your second marriage before it starts….I had a great job and worked with hundreds of people each week as a staff member at a large church….we were married by our pastor….then when I got sick with no reason why shortly after the miraculous birth of our only child he began to avoid me….shortly thereafter he began to ask for a divorce….his sex supply when I became sick was diminished to next to nothing ….I needed love and support and he was not concerned with that….He sued me for divorce after 11 years of marriage and found his new girlfriend one year before that….the message I got is that his need for affirmation is paramount in any way he can get it and I was unable to give it to him…so he found his next form of supply…what did I do wrong? I told him one day that I wanted intimacy in our sex and not just naughty, nasty, sex. His answer was I want sex how I want it….too bad for you. For all those wondering what they did wrong….the answer is loved someone who has not learned to love themselves….love is not on the narcissist list of needs….only the external supply they need to power themselves…either give it to them and let yourself be depleted until you stop being you or respect yourself enough to simply let them be who they are and cut your losses and walk away NOW!

  12. Amanda says:

    I have recently been discarded from my ex narc and it’s been about 3 months. He had new supply lined up way before he discarded me. They actually were in on it together waiting for her to close on her house so he could leave me and move in with her. He had just proposed to her two weeks ago and we were together 3 years. He spoke of marriage allllll the time yet when we met he was still married but separated, so he says. I am curious if he wouldn’t have still been married woukd he have moved that fast with me? I am having a hard time not looking at this situation as her being better and him really loving her way more than me. By the time he had been divorced in our relationship it was about a year and the “newness” had worn off and he has cheated over and over. He left and said we had too many scars that couldn’t be fixed. Yet he gave them alllll too me. How do I keep myself sane when he’s going on vacations with her and they have this picture perfect family? It kills me.

    • Elizabeth says:

      I was in your exact situation a year ago. Let me tell you how this plays out. You cry a lot. You take his calls and end up being there for him emotionally thinking he’ll ‘see the light’ and come back to you. There will be times that you think this is happening and then one day he’ll go and marry this girl that he left you for. You will have been working on yourself, exercising, getting stronger, doing all those things you’d put off and seeing all those people you hadn’t seen while you were with him. He won’t have the courteousy to call you to let you know hes getting married. When you find out you’ll naturally be shocked, then sad for both of them and then you’ll laugh and laugh and laugh and thank your lucky stars that it wasn’t you. And you’ll never get played again. Your next boyfriend will treat you like a queen and you’ll have learned your lessons. Hallelujah!!!

      • Ann says:

        Thank you this happen to me she got them a house and now they are married. She got him a car he takes his children to their moms and they go on vacation. He said he didn’t like her and if he told her to bark like a dog she would amongst other things he said about her. But he says he’s happy. So many may then why do you keep trying to contact me. Even since he’s been married

    • Hilarie says:

      You are explaining what just happened to me to a tee. EXACT same scenario. It’s sickening what they do and how they do it, and get away with it. They crush peoples lives and end up on top, again and again, and again.

  13. Ginger Dennis says:

    OMG…I am reading all of these comments and I am shocked, that this is not me making things up. When my husband and I met he told me he was divorced, then after he had me and my kids sucked in he said that he was not divorced but separated and working on divorce. Needless to say he was in a BIG Rush, I just thought because he loved me so much. No, his divorce was final and we got married 10 days later. I have proof that he was not faithful in our marriage. I happened all the time. He got us so far into debt, I could not afford to divorce him…finally I just did…I did not care, I moved out. After about a week he was texting me and calling me again and wanting to work things out. We tried, or I should say I tried, and I could tell it seemed like to me he was living a different life. He had worked on his new girl now for about six months while we were trying to work on our marriage. The last straw is that he physically grabbed me by my neck and threw me down, about a week after that he realized his money train had come to a stop!! So the next, very next day he filed for divorce, all the while for months earlier, telling his family total lies about me so they would hate me. He played his cards well. I pray the next victim does not have children. I could go on and on about the mental abuse. He would take the light bulbs out of the lights and hid them, because he thought it was burning too much electricity. I could go one forever with these stories…its like a bad movie!!!

  14. SS says:

    A few weeks ago I discovered my Narcissist ex husband and his 4th wife (15yrs his junior) are expecting their first child, his 4th biological child or 8th including stepchildren. He had his vasectomy reversed to conceive this child. He will be 47 when the baby is born and his oldest biological child, whom he has had no relationship with since the age of 3, will be 22!

    He is a serial monogamist or shall I say parasite! He left his 1st wife’s bed to mine literally the same day; however I didn’t discover this until after him and I separated. He was living with his 3rd wife 5 months after we separated and living with his 4th wife 4 months after leaving his 3rd wife.

    Things seemed great in the first few years of our marriage but soon there were cracks, caught him in a few lies, saw how his personality completely changed depending on who was present. The day he physically harmed my son and in the moment I confronted him and looked into his blank eyes, I knew I had to get my children away from this man I didn’t even recognize.

    I mourned for the man I thought I married meanwhile he was on dating sites before I left our marital home. After our separation I found out many more disturbing acts he had committed in the years before we met.

    He is giving his current wife everything she wants right now, including a child and moving closer to her family and away from our children, because she is feeding his ego and obviously is easily manipulating her with his lies and half truths. I feel a certain amount of guilt knowing this marriage will end like the others have and there is nothing I can do or say to stop the destruction of another family.

  15. Bill says:

    HI everyone:

    I have recently found out that my ex-wife that i met and married in China then 2 years later came to Canada, my home country, is definitely narcissistic.
    When we met wow, just the most incredible woman i had ever known. Treated me like a king. And sexually, my God, absolutely fantastic at sex and also giving me a blowjob, swallowed, etc, like i never thought it could be that good. Of course she told me right after that it was the first time ever she had let a man o****m in her mouth and swallowed, without me asking.

    So fast forwarding to when we came to Canada. She changed, started making me feel i was not worthy of her, made me feel i was an a*****e, called me stupid, things like that. Then one day she went she said to meet a gf of hers for lunch and then the library. I got an important call for her about an hour after she left and called her cell, which always if she missed my call she would call me back real quick, but not this day. 6 hours later she called and I said what the heck, what, are u with another guy? and said she had met a customer from where she works on the bus and took him to meet her gf, but the gf got called into work so he asked my wife to go to an afternoon movie at the cinema, and she turned off her phone while there. Long story short when she got home at 6pm she went right into the shower. I was mad of course, and she called him in front of me and said she cannot see or talk to him again. Then i found out she was still seeing him, she called again, in front of me again and said same thing, cannot see u again, but i found out again a month later she was stiil seeing him, fortunately i had taken a job long long ways away and the next week we moved. No he told me when i called him that they did not meet on the bus that day, they had planned to meet few days before. Her contention to this day is that they were only friends and nothing else. So i said then why did you not introduce me to him as your husband and she said he did not want to meet me. Since then there have been a few other times where i, with real good reasons, suspect she cheated.

    Anyhow 3 months ago she came to my office and told me she wants a divorce, she does not love me anymore, and we separated on May 3rd. Since then she has totally confused me. One day she called and asked if i want to go to china in September, and i said no. Another time she called and wanted to take me to lunch on fathers day, yet we have no kids together. And then the next day she just argues and calls me loser, stupid, etc. Says one minute if i change some things she might come back, then next minute says we can never by husband and wife ever again. I asked her 2 days ago on the phone if she would help me with the demons i have had in my head for years and she said ok. So i asked her, have u been with any other guy since we separated and she said no, but she is looking and hopefully will fine a guy soon. Then i said, honestly for me, did u cheat during our marriage, and she got all mad and loud and said i told you before no and hung up.

    Well she has been on and off since we separated like u would not believe. One day she hates me and never wants to see me, next day she shows up at my office with a bag of oranges she said she bought me.

    So a week ago she went to china to visit her family and a girlfriend of hers accompanied her. I asked her are just you and the girlfriend going and she and she said yes, just the two of them. I don’t know why, but I just had that feeling, so I called the travel agent that she uses who is also a friend of mine and asked him, who else went, and he reluctantly finally told me my wife, her gf, and 2 guys.

    Now my thinking is this – if u are done with an ex and totally really done, then why not tell them, yea, I am taking a guy I am involved with there also, so get on with your life?

    So what i am looking for is a somewhat analysis of what other people think of this whole situation and what they feel was really going on. And i can say she is definitely narcissistic, when i checked this out on the internet after we parted, the signs of one could have been called her resume.

    So any comments would be appreciated.

  16. Julie Vajda says:

    Any tips on what works best when your ex , a Narcissist, begins an onslought of lies after his narcissistic binge post remarriage? I get way too much release from responding to his texts and emails because he can not constantly interrupt these and I can actually defend myslef when he isn’t spuing lies out and talking over and through any response I have. It feels good to finally get a word in…but yet not the healthiest to respond in length to his lies even in writing….How long will this last?

    • Matt says:

      You asked: Any tips on what works best when your ex , a Narcissist, begins an onslought of lies after his narcissistic binge post remarriage?

      I hope this helps somehow:
      1. Ignore everything you here or read
      2. Responding to any smear, lie, slander, gossip from your EXN, only focusses attention on the actual smear/lie, and you end up trying to defend yourself against the smear; any attention/response that you provide is what the NARC wants, the NARC is pushing your buttons
      3. Anything whatsoever that you can say to the NARC, either verbally or in writing or through any third party, is simply giving your EXN a ‘Supply’, and you will just end up feeling pain. The NARC will continue to try to elicit responses from you, as these maintain their control over you, and helps feed their supply needs
      4. NO CONTACT
      5. NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER (If you have kids together, put a contact management plan in place)
      6. NO CONTACT, NO COMMUNICATION
      7. In case you were unsure of 4, 5 & 6, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EXN

      Finally, it does not matter what the NARC says about you to anyone, they will be found out of you do this:

      STAND IN YOUR OWN TRUTH WITH DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT, DO NOT LOWER YOURSELF TO THE NARC’S DEPTHS OF HOPELESSNESS, AND REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE ESCAPED FROM A TERRIBLE EXISTENCE, AND THE ROAD AHEAD IS NOW CLEAR FOR AN AMAZING LIFE THAT YOU WILL HAVE.

      MX

  17. Olive says:

    My narc moved his married girlfriend in four days after ending our 18 year relationship. They are soon to be married and are plastering their gushing “love” all over social media. This will be his 3rd marriage. She is the “love of his life”. Hmm, same thing he told me. And his 1st wife. lol. I wonder how long they will last.

  18. Vintage says:

    I was married to a NARC and dealt with a lot of dark things from this man. He is remarried to a 28 year old who blames me for him disrespecting her. He met her in August 2014, proposed to her Dec. 2014, broke off the engagement Jan. 2015, re-proposed to her Feb. 2015 and married April 2015. He did this to get at me because I wouldn’t take him back, then she became pregnant and terminated the pregnancy because they were already beginning to have problems. They separated in July of 2015 and she moved back with her parents, she became pregnant again and terminated that one also. All the while my kids are all in the middle of this mangled mess, he begs her back after learning she was pregnant again for the third time and they go on a Family cruise Dec. 3, 2015 that ended in a altercation with my 13 year old daughter. I think she is also a NARC and they feed off of each other well, after the cruise and the Altercation she leaves and has not returned as of yet but comes on the weekends to be a wife and to let him spend time with their 7 month old daughter together. In the midst of the separation he tried me again and when I loss my mom last August he was over the top supportive and stated that if she didn’t return he was divorcing her meanwhile tell me he should have fought for our marriage and that he wished things were so much different for us. LIES LIES AND MORE LIES because he is the same man he’s always been A CONTROLLER, MANIPULATOR, AN ACTOR, A DR. JECKYL AND MISTER HYDE. I don’t know if their marriage will last or not but I care not because it’s not me that he is treating bad anymore. My concern is my children, I have no communication with him or her because I refuse to be in that triangled mess and I hope and pray that it all works out for them. I’M TOTALLY FREEEEEEEEEE

  19. Lakes girl says:

    I had a 4 yr relationship with a narcissist. He pulled me in head over heels becoming everything I told him I had been hurt through my marriage to an alcoholic. He was charming, told me he loved me constantly and that he was a lucky guy . A little background? He had been married 3 times and had 3 other long relationships. He told me they ALL cheated on him. I was determined like a fool to be his everything and never let him be looking again.
    Well after 4 years, this past fall he sat me down and told me he thought I was in love with a co-worker and had the hots for his sons best friend. I was floored and told him he was nuts . He insisted on making me guilty and would not hear me. He even went so far as to tell me God gave him a dream about me and a guy in a cabin. So he dumped me out of the blue and got a new girl 3 weeks later. I believe now that he got bored or I was not filling his supply like the excitement of a new relationship and he had to quickly get that addiction met so he didn’t feel bad. Breaking up with a narcissist is devastating in that you don’t have a clue it’s coming. They break you down, accuse you of everything and turn it all on you acting like they never ever cared for you . We are not ex’s, we are victims of these people.

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