Narcissists don’t like anybody knowing that certain things drive them crazy.
They prefer to reveal their fake selves to the world, and save their moods for those closest to them – usually behind closed doors.
If it’s behind closed doors, it’s your word against theirs, right?
If you really want to know what gets so far under the narcissist’s skin that it drives them totally crazy, I’ve got the perfect list for you.
Remember – simply being you can rub them the wrong way, and the stronger you are, the squirmier the narcissist will become!
You Standing at the Fort of Your Boundaries
It’s taken you years to build the kind of castle that will protect you from people trying to destroy you or take over your life.
You’re there, at the fort, and you see the narcissist approaching.
Do you run for cover? Do you see them in and tell them to make themselves at home?
No!
Maybe once upon a time you may have – but it did so much damage that you promised never again.
It’ll drive them crazy to know that they can’t influence you the way they once did. The panic will set in as they desperately scour the ground for further supply.
Now what will they do?
Control Slipping Away
A narcissist holds onto control like it’s pure, solid gold in a tornado. Their grip is tight because ultimately, they’re petrified that each day they have it will be their last.
Control isn’t something they’re supposed to have, you see. It belongs to the person they took it from. Rather than be an upstanding citizen and hand it back, they steal and celebrate their sleight of hand.
Their biggest fear is loss. At some point in their life, that’s what happened to them to make them this way. Losing control of you is a trigger for them they cannot do a thing about.
You Not Buying Their Love Bombing
If you are confident in yourself, with moderate levels of self-confidence, there should be no reason why you’d fall for love bombing.
Love bombing works best when a person feels flattered that someone is giving them attention. They soak it up because it feels good (Who wouldn’t feel good being promised the world?)
Empaths love to hear nice things. As characters with such a kind and compassionate energy, they assume all good things are genuine. It’s not in their nature to assume the worst in people. Empathetic people love, and tend to see past the negative traits of a person.
So, if a narcissist came along and love bombed their way in, the empath wouldn’t see the motive behind it.
Learning to not buy it can be a challenge. As soon as you see what’s coming, you can avoid it.
Think of it as being a little bit like emotional dodgeball.
Giving Them Next to Nothing
Grey rocking your way through your time with a narcissist will drive them mad. Not only will they be unable to sway you into conflict, they won’t find it possible to lure you into giving unnecessary apologies.
Grey rock is pretty much what you think of when you see a grey rock.
Blends in.
Offers nothing.
Doesn’t have much to offer.
In conversation, this is key in disarming the narcissist. They can poke and prod you as much as they want, but you aren’t going to fire back.
It’s a kind of control that requires practice. It can be difficult at first to find the patience to sit through a narcissistic encounter this way but once you have it nailed – it’s so effective.
Canceling Plans
You canceled our trip?
You can’t make it?
You changed your mind?
You’d rather do something else with someone else??
Yes – all these things derive from the entitled epicenter of the narcissistic soul. You should be honored that the narcissist wanted to see you in the first place. Now you have the nerve to pull out?
Don’t think the narcissist will forgive you, and don’t ever think they’ll forget either.
Narcissists hold grudges like a kid holds cotton candy at a summer fair.
They won’t let go.
Of course, it’s your prerogative to cancel. Sometimes things come up, sometimes you feel unwell. Priorities change.
But if you’re making something else a priority over the narcissist – there will be trouble!
Success
You’d think good things or good news would trigger happy vibes from your loved Ones. Family, friends and your spouse would unite to make you feel proud of your achievements.
Questions will be fired at you.
You must be over the moon?
How amazing is this news?
Tell us all about it!
Nope.
Forget it.
Nothing nauseates a narcissist more than somebody getting all the attention. If you’ve succeeded in something, they’ll be there. If they weren’t, people would raise questions.
But don’t expect them to engage in any flattery. They don’t want to know about you or your news. They want to try and find something going on in their lives to steal your thunder (and yes – this happens all the time!)
Happy People
What have they got to be so happy about?
I work hard and look at them – they’ve got it all.
God. It’s alright for some.
Happy people are happy because they naturally exude a light. This light isn’t something a narcissist ever has possession of, unless they steal it from you.
It’s baffling to any narcissist that someone can be so light and carefree. Rather sadly, their character just can’t comprehend happiness without:
Compliments.
Money.
Expensive material goods.
Vacations.
Control.
Making sure other people are miserable.
Seeing Others Get What They Want
Narcissists want everything to happen to them. They want to be the competition winners. They want the invite to that party. They want the new neighbors to talk to them first. They want their football team to win.
If others happen to get there first each time? It will drive them crazy.
So crazy in fact, that they will overly act as though they don’t care.
We think they protest too much…
Independence
If you go out and do your own thing without having the need or inclination to tell them first – the narcissist will hate it.
Independent people are a threat. They have everything on display the narcissist secretly craves.
Narcissists cannot cope without others around them. The supply they need is constant. The approval they require is daily. The validation they search for is constantly being hunted down.
So – to see you treating life like a great big slice of cake and living by your own rules is stomach-turning to them.
You Being Unwell
Stop making a fuss. You’re fine.
You want to see unwell? You should have seen me a few weeks ago.
Actually, you say you’re ill but I feel terrible myself.
I’ve put my back out again.
They can’t stand it. It’s actually funny if you can look past the sheer audacity of them treating you like a burden simply because you have the flu, or a stomach virus.
Being ill means people are going to pay you attention. They’ll ask after you instead of the narcissist.
Not being center of attention?
Yeah – that’s a real trigger that is sure to send the narcissist into a spin!
