Buying Gifts for Narcissists: 7 Gifts For Narcissists They Will Love (Satire Ahead)

Last Updated on May 31, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

Gift –giving for the narcissist in your life is easy… simply buy something that celebrates the individual-them!

It is preferable to put their picture on it as just having their name engraved on a gift no longer suffices.

From custom condoms featuring their face (seriously) to miniature dolls in their likeness, it’s all readily available for you to personalize online.

Here are just a few ideas to get you started in your quest for the perfect (and it HAS to be perfect!) gift for Narcissists

**Note: Under no circumstances should you buy your narcissist a self-improvement book of any kind! **

1. The Disney Princess Magic Talking Mirror Set

The perfect gift for your Narcissistic Mother. This enchanted mirror allows your self-appointed princess to gaze at her reflection and be told,

“You look too lovely today!” and “You’re the fairest in the land” and “You’re the most beautiful princess in the whole world.”

It’s a must-have for every Narcissist on your gift list this year. Plus, if you buy her a bulk package of batteries from Costco, it will save you some time and energy in the undying adoration department.

She’ll be thrilled with her new never-ending narcissistic supply and you’ll be a hero for 5 minutes—until she starts to compare you to the mirror. Why can’t you be more like my Magic Mirror?

best gifts narcissists disney princess mirror

2. The Husband/Boyfriend GPS Tracking System

Tired of her endless interrogations? Where were you? Who were you with?

Who did you talk to? Where did you go after work? You were gone too long to just have been at the store!

Indulge her controlling nature and put her pathological jealousy to rest with this handy GPS tracking system that records your vehicle’s location during the day.

All she has to do is attach it securely to your vehicle and then pop it into her computer’s USB port (or you can do it for her).

Sure, it’s restrictive, but it’s less invasive than a microchip embedded in your molar.

best gifts for narcissists boyfriend gps tracking

3. Retractable Leash and Collar

It’s the perfect gift to show who’s really in charge. She likes to “yank your chain,” so why not give her the real thing? Why a retractable leash instead of a basic leash?

She’ll give you just enough lead to let you momentarily experience a sense of freedom.

Then with the mere push of a button—click—your feet fly out from underneath you and you’re flat on your back wondering what the heck happened.

best presents narcissists boyfriend on a leash

4. Old Fashioned Portraits (by Eyeworks):

The middle ages have had a strong influence on fashion lately, with a lot of collection bearing medieval themes.

However, the movement has gone beyond the catwalk and into the home.

You can now have a giant, custom Medieval Portrait created for your living room starring your favorite narcissist.

gifts for narcissists medieval portrait

5. Personalized Beer Labels:

Tuborg, a Danish beer brewery company has come up with a very interesting (and in my opinion very trendy) idea.

Personalized beer labels. They allow consumers to personalize (or tune) their beer bottles with whatever image you want to use.

6. Photo shoot in Grey scale:

With the overwhelming popularity of the naughty series, Fifty Shades of Grey, fans who long for more passionate inspiration can add photos of themselves in grey.

The erotic popular trilogy by Erika Leonard James was developed from Twilight fan fiction and re-worked by the author into the saga starring Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

The plot is essentially a lustful portrayal of their relationship featuring explicit recounts of their taboo boudoir escapades.

7. Transform Yourself into Pop Art:

“Trendy Portrait” makes a designed & illustrated portrait based on your photo.

It can be printed on a variety of products including posters, canvas, holiday cards, and wedding invitations.

It can also be used for computer uses such as e-mail signatures, e-cards, and chat photo displays.

Just choose your photo and then select a style (vector, retro, Warhol, pop art, or b&w.)

Other Things You can Customize

If you don’t find the above gifts perfect, there are a host of other ideas including, but not limited to:

  • Custom sneakers/shoes/flip-flops magazine cover
  • Personalized bobble head beer or wine labels
  • Personalized drink ware personalized ice cream (flavor and label)
  • Kleenex box p.c. /HP skins
  • M&M’s (name and face) postage stamps with their face
  • Steak brander (keep away from them when in a rage so they don’t use it on you)
  • Mugs with their face miniature dolls and exact replicas of themselves
  • Books/picture books candy or protein bars (label and ingredients)
  • Make a commercial starring them make a cartoon/animation starring them
gifts for narcissists


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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

3 thoughts on “Buying Gifts for Narcissists: 7 Gifts For Narcissists They Will Love (Satire Ahead)”

  1. They’re rubbish gift givers too….I only wear gold or gold coloured jewelry, I only wear watches with black or blue straps…he buys me for Xmas a white strapped watch with a fake silver chain! Makes me wonder if this was revenge because I never got him the gifts he wanted….even though he never said what he wanted, just clues as to how much £££ stuff has to be for him to wear/use and appreciate

  2. Is it just me or does this article read as sarcastic and over the top?

    I readily admit being a narcissist, but a lot of what I’m seeing here is demeaning to NPD as a legitimate medical condition and to those who are diagnosed with it.

    Heaven forbid anyone be encouraged to try and help a true narcissist and maintain a relationship with them.

    • There is definitely sarcasm in this article.
      However, if maintaining a relationship with a narcissist means filling up their supply tank of attention and adoration, these gifts are dead-on.

      Narcissists are extremely difficult to live with; this is the best the rest of us can do.


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