Narcissists are serial liars. I’m sure you know that by now!
Sure, they will try to make them sound real, but you know the truth, right?
The lies that fall out of their mouth, fall onto the ears of those who suspect them to be true.
But what do narcissists do with the lies they tell?
Do they really believe their own hype?
There’s only one way to find out.
Fact and Fiction
Both are so hard to pull apart when you’re dealing with a narcissist, aren’t they?
On one hand, you’ve got a very charming person that you’re dealing with. Initially, you won’t have any reason to doubt them, or what they’re telling you.
It’s only time that reveals a person’s true character, and that can only be done by really paying attention, and not missing a beat.
Fiction will soon rear its ugly head, and everything will start to make perfect sense.
We all want the truth, except the narcissist, who is only keen to produce more and more lies.
But do they really believe them?
The Personality of a Narcissist
Here’s the deal.
You’ve got a person who is so capable of convincing everybody else that they have good character.
They help out. They smile. They listen. They tell you they care. They fake empathize.
Their ego tells them that they’re better than everybody.
Narcissists are desperate to come between those who may form a strong alliance when together. To prevent that, they will absolutely do whatever it takes.
Believing their own lies is a way of doing a number of things.
- It teaches us all indirectly to believe whatever the narcissist says. This shifts power onto the narcissist.
- It teaches the narcissist that they can manipulate any situation to their advantage.
- It helps the narcissist’s ego grow. (Like we need more of it…)
Nobody needs any of this – but here we have it – the personality of a narcissist.
What To Think About
Lies can be:
- Ways to protect the narcissist
- Phrases, actions, or ways to make you feel worthless
- Made up stories to enhance the profile or image of the narcissist
- Statements to get out of trouble – to prove their innocence
You see – lies will be told wherever possible, and however possible to get the narcissist to have that good light shine on them.
So – the best way to decide if a narcissist is lying, is to judge the situation yourself.
I will help you do that with these five steps to the truth.
#1 Reality… Who Feels Distorted?
The magical thinking of the narcissist will completely distort their version of reality. It will be distorted to the point where you are accused of faking the real version.
How twisted is that?!
When a narcissist truly believes that they think is real, they will throw you to the wolves in order to maintain that belief.
This is primarily due to wanting everybody else to agree with them as well – equally worse for you if you seek justice.
They are truly dangerous people, and no matter how special or right they think they are – you know what’s really going on.
Look out for people who believe their own hype, when the evidence presented is otherwise.
#2 Complete Loss of Empathy
If empathy was a muscle, narcissist’s would have the weakest muscles in the whole world.
The needs of others don’t matter to them, and they have a very difficult time trying to understand when another person is in need of support.
The only needs they are aware of are their own.
So what does a person with no empathy do?
Aside from regularly upsetting you, they’re great at lying.
A narcissist lies every day to both themselves and others. (Come on, you don’t honestly believe that we believe you love yourself, do you?)
Narcissists are great at believing the false image they paint on themselves each morning before they leave the house.
I am a great person.
I am fantastic at what I do.
I love myself.
I find learning so easy.
People love me.
I have successful relationships.
Could they seriously say any of that?
Absolutely not!
In turn, they lie to you and expect you to believe them.
No good comes from their lack of empathy (both for themselves, and you).
#3 Manipulative Games
If a narcissist wants something, they are going to do whatever it takes to get it.
If that means exploiting you, lying about you or throwing you under the bus to get it, that’s exactly what they will do.
A narcissist can be unaware they’re lying. There are times where they do know.
That consciousness changes nothing, and they will continue to speak to the point where what they’re saying sounds just as convincing to them as it does to you.
Remember – the narcissist is more interested in protecting their lies than caring about what those lies do to you.
#4 Defense
What is at the root of all narcissists?
That’s right.
Deep insecurity.
To avoid a confrontation with that person, their false persona kicks in.
Look at me, this is me, this is who I am!
And there you are – watching a narcissist lie to themselves in real time!
It’s all to defend themselves, as if they have something to overcompensate for. They blame-shift.
They want to avoid accountability. Mistakes happen, but they’re covered up immediately with a sly smile and an excuse.
They may even blame you for something, lying in the faces of anyone questioning them.
Or – and here is the worst thing – narcissists will lie and accuse you of being the one who is lying!
Talk about gaslighting.
Over time, they believe that it was your fault when you had nothing to do with it will become increasingly apparent, and that’s why I work tirelessly to get you to see through it all before it’s too late.
When All is Said and Done…
The lies of the narcissists affect everybody in some way, even the narcissist.
While they’re celebrating not being under the spotlight, you’re left feeling totally miserable.
The pain and suffering from being portrayed as the one who has been the cause of pain, rather than the victim of it, can be unbearable.
It’s an injustice you want to work hard to fight the innocence of, and I understand.
Narcissists don’t like it when you recognize in your own mind what’s going on, and the ways in which you can start to fight back.
They try hard to keep you small and irrelevant, so that you can still remain the one who suffers and appears the guilty party.
All the while they believe their own lies, they believe they’re getting away with this treatment of you.
