How To Text A Girl For The First Time?

Last Updated on November 7, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

Why is it so important to make a good impression with your first texts? That first message is crucial. It can affect your chances of getting the lady of your dreams to be genuinely interested in you. 

To wow a girl via text message, you need to manage the art of the first impression. First impressions are more than mere moments.

Another reason why first impressions are so important is that they are lasting. Ever heard of the primacy effect?

It comes into play when you experience something before other things in a sequence. Because of the primacy effect, you will remember the first thing more.

So, leverage your first impression. If you don’t, you can ruin your chances of having a meaningful relationship with the girl of your dreams. She’ll lose interest. Even worse, your bumbled text conversation will be her only long-term memory of you. 

Instead, master the art of starting an interesting conversation via text message. So, even if you mess up at a later stage in your courtship journey, she’ll be more likely to forgive you.

Your text conversations must also be on point to prevent other guys from swooping in.

You don’t want to give them the advantage before you’ve had a decent chance to win her over. If you make a first impression that no one else can match, you’ll pique her interest and be able to move on to the first date.

10 Simple Ways to Text a Girl for the First Time

It would be great to have a cute girl with a bright personality who complements your life. In most cases, and especially if you’re into online dating, you may have never met her.

10 Simple Ways to Text a Girl for the First Time (2)

But, in the meantime, you’ve decided to start an engaging conversation. Whether you meet her via a dating app, online, or in person, you’ll take things to the next level when you start sending her texts. 

We’re here to guide you if you’re nervous about sending that first message. We’ll share helpful tips and examples for your first text message.

We’ll also help you to keep a lively, fun conversation going. We take all the hard work, frustration, and hassle out of modern dating.

Here are some simple methods to win over the girl of your dreams using text messages. 

#1 Dispatch the First Message Within 24 Hours

The general rule is to text girls within 24 hours of her giving you her number (48 max). Strike while the iron is hot.

Dispatch the First Message Within 24 Hours

Keeping momentum is essential in the dating game. You don’t want her to forget about you. Remember, she might be exploring a few other favorable dating options.

#2 Keep it Simple to Start

Start by asking about her day and take it from there. Keep it short and sweet. Remind her of who you are (“Hi, this is Dave. We met at the Mermaid Tavern”).

You can also reference your initial conversation, which will help her to place you. Initiate contact within 24 hours of meeting her. In that way, she remembers as much as possible about you.

#3 Ask Questions

You should show interest if you want to get to know an individual. It keeps the conversation engaging. You can learn the art of conversation threading.

Ask Questions

This tactic is about recognizing topics within her reply to work with for your response. It makes sending your second message easier. Plus, you’ll have no problem keeping the conversation going.

#4 Be Consistent

Use the same manner of texting as when you talk to her in person. In that way, you’ll elicit the same feelings she got when she met you.

This tip also applies to messaging girls through social media or dating apps. Pay her a genuine compliment on her profile. Or you can start with any open-ended question on her profile that interests you.

#5 Send Her a Good Morning Text Message

Sending a “good morning” text message for her to wake up is a surefire way to boost your dating life. It lets her know that she was the first thing you thought of that day, and it keeps her from losing interest.

Send Her a Good Morning Text Message

The trouble with good morning text messages is that the same few phrases get recycled repeatedly. Instead, send original text messages, so she’ll see that you put some thought into them.

#6 Keep it Positive

Send her fun messages to build her attraction to you. Also, move fast (don’t play safe). During the first week, lead her to the phone. Say something like, “Listen, texting is lame.

Can I call you in five minutes?” Once you get her on the phone, make her comfortable to share something about herself. You do the same, too. The point is to build a connection, so she’ll want to continue talking to you.

#7 Use Emojis

No, emojis are not only for teenagers. They are a cute stand-in for your tone, body language, and so on… all those signals you miss out on when you’re not seeing each other.

Use Emojis

They’re vital for keeping texts lively and light-hearted. Or send a funny meme. Making a girl laugh is often the best plan. Don’t overthink it, though. If you’ve managed to get her number, you already have a foot in the door.

#8 Be Assertive

You need to become the one guy she’s texting because she has a romantic interest.

So, be assertive and ask her out on a date (remember, that’s the whole point of texting her in the first place).

Be different from most guys, who fumble when it comes time to make a move. Instead, let your confidence win her over.

#9 Develop a Quick Rapport

Asking her out should be the primary goal when texting a girl. You’ll also need to confirm to her that you’re a fantastic person and build up a little bit of connection. 

Develop a quick rapport

#10 Come up with a Date Idea and Ask Her Out

Have you built a bit of a connection? Developed a quick rapport? Established some decent back-and-forth communication? Then it’s time to ask her to go on a date. Do this sooner rather than later. 

45 Examples of What to Text a Girl for the First Time

We’ve seen how the first text message you send to a girl can be a daunting task. You want to devise the perfect text and grab her attention. Give her butterflies.

The idea is to make her sit up, take notice, and make her heart melt – we’ve all been there.

45 Examples of What to Text a Girl for the First Time

With that in mind, we’ve come up with some great texts you can use when you first reach out to her. Choose the one you like from the list below if you need some inspiration.

Astrological Signs

  1. So, what’s your zodiac sign? I’m a textbook Taurus.

Favorite Music

  1. You: What’s your favorite music genre?Her: I like (whatever she enjoys listening to). You: I can see why. What has been your number-one go-to song lately?
  2. Third World is in concert this weekend, and I have an extra ticket. Wanna go with me?

Favorite Movies

Favorite Movies
  1. All right, here’s the question of the day. Which movie is your all-time favorite, and why?
  2. Did you see [insert a new movie release] is now in theaters? Would you like to watch it with me?
  3. You: Hey, what’s up? I’m getting ready to watch that movie you recommended. Her: Nice! I hope you like it. I was about to walk my dog. You: I’m excited to watch it. I didn’t know you had a dog. What breed is it?

Favorite Things to Do

  1. So what do you like to do right before you go to sleep?
  2. What’s your ideal Sunday like?
  3. What’s on your bucket list?
  4. Where is the one place you’ve always dreamed of visiting?

Right After Getting Her Number

  1. Hey, Anna. It’s Nicholas here. Here’s a text so you can have my number too. Talk to you soon!
  2. Hi! It’s Nicholas from Bumble.
  3. It was good to meet you tonight – Nicholas.
  4. Hey, Anna. Guess who ;).
  5. Hi, Anna. It was nice meeting you today. Let’s have a coffee this weekend. Which day works for you?
  6. I like you. Are you going to do anything about it?
  7. Have I told you how cute you are?
  8. How are you able to look so stunning every day?

The Morning After Meeting Her for the First Time

The Morning After Meeting Her for the First Time
  1. Hey, Anna – Nicholas here – the drop-dead gorgeous guy from the party last night. It was great to meet you. I’ll call you sometime soon.
  2. Hey – Nicholas here. It was great meeting you last night. I’ll call you sometime soon.
  3. Hi, Anna. It’s Nicholas. I had a fantastic time last night.
  4. Too bad you left early last night. We could have had some fun.
  5. Got home okay last night? Nicholas
  6. How are things with you today? This is Nicholas. We met the other day.
  7. How was your weekend?
  8. How’s your week going so far?/I hope your week is going well.
  9. I still have the smile you gave me.
  10. You turned me into an insomniac.

If She Doesn’t Respond

“Hey, I met this cute girl, and we seemed to hit it off … I haven’t heard from her in over a week, though, and I’m worried that someone’s kidnapped her. Should I call the cops?”

If She Doesn't Respond

Note: It’s great if she responds to this text message, but move on if she doesn’t. She may have given you her number out of pity, so it’s not worth your time or energy to chase her.

Once she passes this ghosting phase, she’ll start texting you back. She may use a tactic known as “shit-testing,” where she probes you. For example, she might send text messages such as:

  1. How many girls are you texting right now?
  2. Why do you think I’m different from the other girls?
  3. Do you say that to every girl?

Shit testing is a good sign. Girls only test men they’re interested in. You can respond by texting something like, “you’re the 6,897th girl

I’ve texted you today. It’s a full-time job, I swear.” Such a response keeps the mood light-hearted, and girls love it.

If You’ve Never Met but You’re Interested in Getting to Know Her

Hi, Anna! I’m Nicholas. We haven’t met, but your profile came up as a recommended friend in my Facebook feed, and you caught my eye.

The Morning After Meeting Her for the First Time

I saw that your profile picture shows you on the Great Wall of China – was that the first time you’ve been there? I visited it last year with my family; it was the coolest thing ever!

How to Ask Her if She’s Free

  1. Hey, what are you doing this weekend?
  2. So, when do I get to meet you?
  3. I found this unique coffee shop by my house. Can you check it out with me?
  4. Let’s check out that new bar on Parrill Court Thursday night. I hear it’s worth the walk.
  5. I want to taste some cocktails in the city. Are you coming with me?
  6. Do you have any good restaurant recommendations (where she lives)?
  7. How about you and I grab dinner tomorrow night?
  8. I have to do a little shopping tomorrow to get a new belt. Would you like to join me?
  9. I’ve everything in my kitchen needed to cook [name of a dish that girls like], but it’s too much for one person to eat. Are you free on Friday evening?

Revisit a Previous (In Person) Conversation

  1. So, we never finished our discussion last night. Who’s the better performer – Rihanna or Beyonce?
  2. I left you early last night, but I still need your answer to my question: where did you go to college?
  3. You: Hey, I know you have that big presentation today. I wish you good luck; you’re going to be great. Her: Thanks! That means a lot. You: Of course! I want to hear all about it when it’s over.

Ask Her Questions About Herself

  1. How many siblings do you have?
  2. I was looking at your feed, and I saw your cute cat. I rescued a ginger kitten last year. Here’s a pic of him lying in the sun.

Avoid These Common Mistakes When You Text a Girl for the First Time

So are you still waiting to get as many dates as you’d like? It might be because you’re making some texting mistakes.

These minor errors can throw your dating life out of sync. Continue reading to find out what they are, so you can stop cockblocking yourself.

Avoid These Common Mistakes When You Text a Girl for the First Time

#1 Giving Up Too Fast

Some guys will send a text, and if they don’t get a reply, they’ll assume she’s not interested and give up. But this mistake is often the biggest one you can make.

If a girl doesn’t respond to a text message, it usually has nothing to do with whether she’s interested.

She might be in the middle of a busy day, for instance, in a bad mood or unsure of how she wants to respond to your text message. So keep trying – don’t assume the worst.

#2 Following the Three-Day Rule

As we mentioned, you have a 24-hour window to send your initial text message. Look at the results of this recent Dating Metrics survey.

Following the Three-Day Rule

It revealed that 89 percent of women want that first contact within 48 hours. But don’t wait that long! We’ve given you sample texts to use immediately, within 15 minutes of meeting her.

You also have those next-day text messages. This way, when you’re fresh in her mind, she will remember you when your number pops up.

#3 Making Unnecessary Apologies

It’s okay if you take a little time to respond to her text message. You don’t know her very well, so you aren’t obligated to explain yourself.

Apologizing for that comes off as awkward and like you need to make sure she likes you. All you need to do is roll back into the conversation. 

And if you’re taking longer to respond on purpose, see what we had to say about the three-day rule.

Women like men who know what they want. By delaying, you’ll make her think you’re uninterested, so she will move on.

#4 Texting Your Life Story

There are two types of women you’ll be texting:

  1. Interested
  2. Not very interested
Texting Your Life Story

If you keep sending long messages, she’s unlikely to text you back if she is in the second category. When texting a girl, the usual routine is five to twenty messages, then asking her out.

Get to the point. You want to meet her, not have a texting pal. Her instincts tell her that you don’t have much of a life if you have time to text all day. So assume she already likes you, and ask her for a date.

#5 Sending Follow-Up Texts Before She Responds to Your First Message

You should never send a girl a slew of texts unless she has replied to your first message.

ALWAYS wait until she responds to your first text message before you bombard her inbox. Not waiting tells her that you’re desperate and needy.

That is a huge turn-off for women. Not only does it give her power over you, but it also lowers your value.

If you keep texting a girl and she doesn’t reply, it becomes clear that she is the prize, and you’re begging to talk to her.

#6 Not Mentioning Her Name

You: Hey, sweetcakes, how’s it going? It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to you.

Not Mentioning Her Name

Her: Oh, Nicholas … How’s it going? I’m doing good.

You: I hear ya. So, beautiful, do you want to hang out later?

Her: Umm … Can I get back to you?

Gorgeous, beautiful, honey and sweetie may sound like compliments. Yet, girls dislike it when you address them by those names.

When you don’t mention her name in text messages, it can mean you’ve forgotten it. Or, even worse, you handle all your girls that way. It’s another turn-off for women.

#7 Over-Analyzing What She Tells You in Her Texts

Texting is an excellent tool, but it carries a different weight from what you do or say when you meet in person.

So take your time when texting (although the medium is perfect for flirting and keeping in contact). Over-analysis has destroyed many guys’ chances with girls.

#8 Over Usage of Emoticons

We know we said you should use emojis in your texts, but some guys go over the limit. Sending too many can make you appear immature – a major no-no when texting a girl.

over usage of emoticons

When you text something funny or flirtatious, by all means, send a smile or wink. Other than that, keep your usage within a reasonable limit.

Overusing LOL is another mistake, especially when you put it at the end of every sentence. You don’t laugh out loud like that when you have an in-person conversation, do you? So make sure to treat your texts the same way.

#9 Texting Your Deepest Feelings

Any emotional conversation via text message, especially early in the game, is an obvious no-no.

Still, we felt we had to say it since so many men make that blunder.

Pick up the phone if you have feelings to share or risk looking pathetic. Also, don’t start a text with “We need to talk …”

#10 Sending Unoriginal Texts

All the guys who get her number send her the classic “Hi, sexy/cutie, how’s it going?” or “What’s up? Are you free this Wednesday?”

Every guy sends her the same nameless, faceless message. You’re as dull as the rest if you do it too.

Sending Unoriginal Texts

Mix things up a little, and make her smile when your name appears on the screen. Tease her, call her out on something, intrigue her, and make your texts exciting.

Final Words

Following the rules will make it easy for you to text a girl for the first time. You should also make proper use of the examples contained in this guide.

There’s no specific medium for texting a girl – you can do it via SMS, Instagram, or even the dating apps of your choice. What matters most is the depth of your conversation with her.

So, use the medium that works best for the two of you. Do you have any tips that you’d like to share?

Please post them in the comments, and let’s start a conversation!

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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