Last Updated on June 6, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
Have you been ghosted by the guy you were dating? Are you asking yourself how to make a guy regret ghosting you?
You can achieve this by playing him at his own game, not contacting him, and stepping your game up.
Ghosting is for cowards, but it appears to have become extremely popular over the last few years with the rise in online dating.
Men now can meet a lot more women, even if it’s just speaking to them on a Zoom call. And as a result, they’ve become overly selective.
If a woman does one thing that he doesn’t like, all he’s got to do is swipe left, and there’s another pretty face waiting for him to indulge.
Unfortunately, ghosting has become the norm, and there’s not much you can do about it, but if you want a guy to regret ghosting you, keep reading.
How To Deal With Ghosting?
Unfortunately, ghosting has become the norm, men and women do it to each other all the time, and the first question we ask ourselves is, “What did I do?” You really didn’t do anything. You were yourself.
The problem isn’t with you. It’s with him. In fact, when a guy ghosts you, he’s actually doing you a favor. Can you imagine being in a relationship with someone that emotionally immature?
Think about it for a minute, please…EXACTLY! It would be an absolute nightmare. There are several reasons why guys ghost women.
I don’t even like using the word ‘reasons’ because that almost lets them off the hook. I prefer to use the word ‘excuses’ because that’s exactly what it is.
There’s not really any justifiable reason for a guy to pull a magic trick on you and just disappear.
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Nevertheless, the best way to deal with ghosting is to understand that you’re dealing with an emotionally immature man who has zero communication skills.
Additionally, as mentioned in the introduction, ghosting appears to be most common with dating apps, so you might want to avoid them from now on.
How To Make A Guy Regret Ghosting You?
Ghosting is one of the most cowardly things a man can do, but they do it all the time and feel no shame about it.
There are several ways you can make a guy regret ghosting you, including two can play that game, not contacting him, and stepping your game up.
It’s a horrible feeling when a guy just decides to stop dating you without telling you why. The good news is, you can make him regret it, keep reading to find out how.
#1 Two Can Play That Game
Even if he hasn’t blocked you, block him on all platforms. How dare he ghost you! Men who ghost women expect her to turn into an emotional wreck.
He’s literally waiting for his phone to start blowing up so he can continue playing the ghosting game. Don’t give him the satisfaction.
By ghosting him too, he’ll start wondering what he did wrong that you’re so unbothered about him ghosting you.
#2 Don’t Contact Him
Once you realize you’ve been ghosted, your first instinct will be to contact him to find out what’s going on.
Don’t! Restrain your fingers from texting, emailing, sending him a DM, or calling.
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He ghosted you because he doesn’t want to explain why he no longer wants to see you, so don’t make a fool of yourself by reaching out to him.
#3 Step Your Game Up
Whatever goals you had before you met the ghoster, start working on them with urgency. Whether it’s weight loss goals, financial goals, or career goals, determine that you’ll achieve every goal you’ve set for yourself.
You see, men love women who know what they want out of life, but they go out and get it. When he hears how well you’re doing and realizes how much of a great catch you were, he’ll start planning how he can get back into your good books.
#4 Date Other Guys
Life is too short to pine over a man with zero respect for you. So put your Tinder profile back up and start dating again.
There are plenty more fish in the sea, and a lot of them are waiting for someone just like you.
But this time, make sure you only go on dates with men who are better looking, make more money, and drive a nicer car than the guy who ghosted you.
Hopefully, he’ll see you being chauffeured around in a Porsche, and he’ll feel like an idiot for letting you go.
#5 Move On Completely
Move on, and don’t look back! Whatever that looks like to you, do it.
You may have been thinking about leaving town until you met him but changed your mind when you thought the relationship was going somewhere.
Now you know that it isn’t. It’s time to pick up where you left off, pack your bags and go!
#6 Don’t Take It Personal
Getting ghosted can make a woman feel really insecure, but it has nothing to do with you. The problem with dating these days is that men have too many options.
Back in the day, when there was no internet and online dating wasn’t a thing, men were less picky. When they walked into a bar, they had to choose from the women who were in there.
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Now, if a man walks into a bar and thinks he can do better, he’ll log onto one of his dating apps and see what else is available.
Unfortunately, that’s what he’s done with you, he’s found a woman he thinks is better, and he’s moved on.
#7 Act Like You’re Not Bothered
You’re bound to see him again if you live in the same town as this guy. When you do, act as if you’re not bothered, and that doesn’t mean ignoring him. It means being cordial.
Out of embarrassment, he’ll probably try and avoid you but go out of your way to greet him. Walk up to him, say “hello,” ask how he’s doing and keep it moving.
There’s no need to have an elongated conversation with him, just say “hi” and go on your way.
The point is that he won’t be expecting that, he’ll be expecting you to ask why he ghosted you, but since you didn’t, he’ll be slightly intrigued.
#8 Be Kind To Yourself
It’s really easy to be unkind to yourself when someone is unkind to you because you internalize what’s happened to you and convince yourself that it’s your fault.
Or that your inner critic was right after all. We all have an inner critic. That voice constantly tells us we’re not good enough, and we’re always fighting to silence.
But when we get rejected (which is what ghosting is), those negative voices scream louder than ever, and it becomes difficult to drown them out.
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Therefore, after you’ve been ghosted, you’ve got to be kind to yourself to remind yourself that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you and he’s the one with the problem.
You can be kind to yourself by quoting positive affirmations that build your self-confidence, taking yourself on a spa date, or going shopping.
The guy who ghosted you probably won’t see you being kind to yourself, but when you finally bump into him, all that tender love and care you’ve been giving yourself will radiate off you in such a powerful way, it will blind him!
What To Do When A Guy Ghosts You
There’s not much you can do when a guy ghosts you apart from getting on with your life by finding a new hobby or going on vacation.
Making yourself feel better is the best thing to do when a guy ghosts you.
#1 Find A New Hobby
Did you know that hobbies are good for your physical and mental well-being? If you don’t have a hobby, now is the perfect time to get one.
According to research, hobbies can help lower blood pressure, lose weight, and improve your mental health.
In addition, hobbies give you the chance to take your mind off the stresses of life and focus on nothing apart from the hobby. It gives you a break, but you’re still fulfilling a purpose.
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If you really want to take your mind off things, find a hobby involving participating in group activities such as a creative writing group, knitting circles, or golfing rotations.
Not only will you have fun indulging in your hobby, but you’ll also have a much-needed support network.
#2 Go On Vacation
Do you have a group of girlfriends you can go on vacation with? Now’s the time to book that cruise you’ve been thinking about.
When was the last time you got to unwind for more than a couple of days totally? Of course, the weekends are not a vacation.
You’ve still got to do stuff around the house like laundry and shopping. But a vacation allows you to take a break from the norm, forget about work and home life, and let your hair down.
If you do decide to take that trip, be sure to take loads of pictures and post them on social media so he can see how much of an awesome time you’re having without him.
Do Guys Come Back After Ghosting?
Unfortunately, yes, they do. But I would never advise that you take a guy back after they’ve ghosted you.
As I’ve mentioned several times throughout this article, there’s no excuse for ghosting, and if he did it once, there’s a high chance he’ll do it again.
So here are twelve reasons why a guy will come back after ghosting you.
#1 He Wants To Prove A Point
So, you’ve taken all the steps mentioned above. You’ve blocked him, stepped up your game, and started dating guys better than him.
Before, he didn’t appreciate you and treated you as something unworthy. But now he sees you’ve completely moved on, and you appear to have no interest in him whatsoever.
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You’ve become a challenge. But all he’s concerned about is whether he can take you from that hunk of a guy you’re now dating.
He’ll pull out all the stops trying to impress you, don’t fall for it!
#2 He Can’t Find Anyone Better
He’s wasted thousands of dollars taking women out on dates, but none of them appeal to him.
So he ghosted you because he thought the grass was greener on the other side. The woman was a looker, just his type, but when they met, she had zero personality and expected him to treat her like royalty just because she knew she was attractive.
Now he realizes he’s made a mistake and that you were actually really nice after all and someone he could have settled down with.
#3 He Thinks He’s God’s Gift To Women
This guy is an arrogant prick and thinks he can treat women any way he wants, and they’ll keep coming back for more! Unfortunately, because he’s so good-looking, that’s what he’s used to.
Even before there was such a thing as internet dating, he always had a flock of women. Because of his track record with females, he assumes that you’ll come running when he calls.
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#4 He’s Bored
After swiping through hundreds of profiles, he hasn’t found anyone that interests him. Even though he didn’t contact you again, he still has your phone number and those flirty text messages you used to send each other.
He goes through your messages and remembers that you two had some really good banter. He’s lying on his couch, reminiscing about how much you made him laugh and how cute you were.
It’s at this moment he realizes he messed up, but it’s too late now!
#5 Someone Ghosted Him
Now that he’s had a taste of his own medicine, he knows how it feels. He really liked the girl who ghosted him, and now he feels insecure.
He doesn’t like the pain of rejection, so he’s shut down all his online dating profiles, and now he’s thinking about you again.
He knows how much you liked him, and even though he knows there’s a chance you’ll say no when he comes back.
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It won’t burn as much in his mind because you’re rejecting him because he ghosted you, and you probably don’t trust him anymore, not because you’re not attracted to him.
#6 He Actually Did Like You
I know you’re probably thinking, “Well, why would a guy ghost a woman if he liked her? The answer is because he’s confused.
An ex-girlfriend may have come back into his life and started talking about getting back together.
A few years back, he was in love with this woman and would have given his right arm to be with her.
But she dumped him and broke his heart, but shortly after he met you, she came back, and all his old feelings resurfaced, and he didn’t know how else to handle it but to ghost you.
But now that his head is clear, and he’s realized that his ex-girlfriend is still the same evil old witch she was when she dumped him, he’s now learned that it’s you he really wants and not her.
#7 He Wants Sex
Did you make the mistake of sleeping with this guy, and then he disappeared a couple of days later?
He ghosted you because he got what he wanted, and he’s probably got a few females on rotation for sex, and he’s added you as one of them.
So he’s calling you back for nothing other than a booty call.
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#8 You Were His Back-up Plan
Some men are ruthless when it comes to dating, and they know exactly what they’re doing. They will date several women at one time and decide who fits where.
They’ll know who they want a serious relationship with, who might be good enough for a serious relationship, and who they would have a one-night stand with.
There are typically a few women in each category, so they can move on to the next when things don’t work out with one.
#9 He Doesn’t Understand The Rules
Some men simply don’t understand the rules when it comes to dating. He might be insecure and uncertain about what to do and how to act.
This is especially true if this is his first experience with online dating. So instead of communicating with you, he gets overwhelmed and buries his head in the sand.
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He will feel bad about ghosting you, and his guilty feelings will lead him to get some advice from a friend who will explain how the online dating world works, and once he feels a bit more confident, if he’s got enough courage to contact you again, he will.
#10 He Was Afraid Of His Feelings
Men are known to pull away when they start developing feelings for a woman. It can scare them so much that they’ll just disappear.
Since men are not the best at communicating their emotions, they can come across as insensitive, but they do care.
They just don’t know how to express themselves. So he’ll withdraw from you for a while until he figures out what’s going on in his head.
He wants to make sure his feelings for you are genuine, and once he decides, he’ll come back and tell you all about it. Nevertheless, if you’ve just started dating this guy, you will want to be cautious of behavior like this.
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Communication is key in a relationship, and if he can’t get it right initially, there’s a high chance you’ll have problems later on down the line.
#11 He’s A Narcissist
Narcissists are true believers that the rules of life don’t apply to them. As far as they’re concerned, they can do what they want, when they want, and that includes ghosting you and then returning as if nothing has happened.
Narcissists are known to disappear without warning and then resurface without a care in the world. In fact, they will act as if they’ve done nothing wrong and convince you that you imagine things.
If you say, “You haven’t called me in three months,” he’ll respond with, “What are you talking about? I spoke to you last week!” The narcissist is such a good liar.
They manage to convince themselves of the lie, but they also convince you of the lie.
#12 He’s Curious
Some men live with their heads in the clouds, and they’re extremely insensitive about other people’s feelings, although this is not done intentionally.
Men like this don’t really think things through, and they’ll bounce around without having any real game plan about anything in life, let alone dating.
For example, him taking you on a few dates was just for fun, and he didn’t feel obligated to keep in touch with you.
But one day, you popped into his mind, and he called because he wanted to know how you were doing.
How To Get Someone To Stop Ghosting You
Men are going to do what men are going to do, so there’s no way you can get men to stop dating you, but you can definitely minimize the risk by putting the breaks on online dating, setting boundaries, and giving them a time limit.
#1 Stop Online Dating
As mentioned, the majority of ghosting takes place online. Men have got so many options that women have become disposable.
Men were a lot more tolerant back in the day and wouldn’t even consider dumping a woman because she sneezed at the dinner table.
But men have become so picky that if a woman does one thing he doesn’t like, he’ll dump her and start looking for someone else. As harsh as it sounds, it’s the reality of 21st-century dating.
So if you want to avoid getting ghosted, you may want to shut down your online dating profiles and consider meeting someone the traditional way.
Perhaps ask friends and family if they know anyone you might be interested in. A man is less likely to ghost you if you’ve been introduced to him by someone you know.
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He’ll have his reputation to uphold and won’t want to run the risk of being labeled as the ‘bad guy.’
Even if things don’t work out, he’ll end the relationship as amicably as possible in the hopes that you won’t go bashing him to everyone.
#2 Set Boundaries
Boundaries are the invisible lines you place around yourself that let a person know how far they can cross.
You should always have consequences attached to your boundaries, and if a person violates them, make sure they’re enforced. Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
When you start dating, always set an intention. Ask yourself what you’re getting into this for? Do you want a one-night stand?
Are you looking for a relationship? When do you think it’s the right time to sleep with a guy?
Whatever your boundaries are, discuss them with your guy friend, and if he violates them, enforce the necessary consequences.
#3 Give Him a Time Limit
If you’re looking for a relationship and it doesn’t seem as if this guy is putting in any effort, give him a time limit.
But don’t let him know you’re giving him a time limit. You can set your time limit to whatever you want it to be. A time limit is how long he can go without contacting you.
For example, since you’ve just started dating, you might want to set it to two weeks since you’re both probably still playing hard to get at this stage.
But after two weeks, if you haven’t heard from him, send a message saying something like, “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in two weeks.
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I’d rather call it quits at this stage.” If he doesn’t respond, block him. If he does, you can consider picking up where you left off.
How Does The Ghoster Feel After Ghosting?
How a man feels after he’s ghosted a woman depends on the man. He might not feel anything, he may feel guilty, or he might feel relieved.
Keep reading to find out how a man feels after he’s ghosted you.
#1 He Doesn’t Feel anything
To some guys, ghosting is the norm, especially for the online dating pros who spend their lives on the internet looking for women.
He may have felt guilty the first time he did it, but now that he’s ghosted over twenty women, he’s become immune to the feeling of guilt.
#2 He Might Feel Guilty
Unless he’s a complete psychopath, everyone knows when they’ve done something wrong because they feel guilty about it.
But although he feels guilty, he does not plan on rectifying the situation because he wanted out, and now he’s out, he plans on staying out.
#3 He Feels Relieved
If he wasn’t feeling you, he could have just said so without ghosting you.
Now that he’s pushed you out of his radar, he feels relieved and ready to move on to the next.
#4 He Feels Uncomfortable
He might not be a total douchebag and ghosted you because he’s never done internet dating before, and it just wasn’t sitting well with him.
Now that he’s ghosted you, he doesn’t feel good about it, he actually feels pretty uncomfortable, but it’s done now, so he doesn’t believe he can reverse the damage.
#5 He Feels Overwhelmed
If we’re not careful, online dating can become stressful instead of enjoyable.
If a guy has set up profiles on three different dating websites and he’s getting matched with hundreds of potentials everyday, he could end up feeling overwhelmed.
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After he’s got rid of you, he might feel slightly less stressed out, but he’s starting to get the impression that online dating isn’t for him, and he’s thinking about packing it in altogether.
How To Get Closure?
If you have the wrong perspective about ghosting, it can seriously damage your self-esteem.
You can get closure by accepting you don’t need an explanation, believing in yourself, and having the right mindset.
Keep reading to find out how you can get closure after being ghosted.
#1 Accepting You Don’t Need An Explanation
If a guy is too immature to contact you and explain why he no longer wants to date you, that’s his problem and not yours.
The bottom line is that you’ll never get closure from someone like that because there’s no excuse for ghosting. Picking up the phone or sending you a text message isn’t difficult.
Instead, he just vanished into thin air. He stopped answering your phone calls, stopped replying to texts, and then blocked you on all platforms! How rude is that?
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You only want an explanation that you think it will make you feel better when in reality, it will make you feel worse.
Accepting that you don’t need an explanation will empower you to move on and let bygones be bygones.
#2 Believe In Yourself
Getting ghosted can take a toll on your self-esteem. The first thing a woman thinks is that she’s not attractive enough, not slim enough, or that she said something stupid that put him off. It’s important to understand that none of this was your fault.
Whatever issues he’s got going on has nothing to do with you, so keep believing that you’re awesome, fabulous, and wonderful and that when the time is right, the perfect gentleman will come along and sweep you off your feet.
#3 Have The Right Mind-set
The right mindset in a ghosting situation refuses to get offended, take revenge, or self-sabotage.
Although you don’t wish him any harm, you understand that you believe in karma and trust that he’ll get a taste of his own medicine one day.
Getting ghosted is definitely not a pleasant experience, but there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist about it either. Unfortunately, stuff happens, and ghosting is one of them.
I don’t care what excuse he gives. In this day and age, there’s no justification for ghosting.
With social media and the fact that most people have a cell phone, there’s absolutely no reason not to contact someone.
So under no circumstances should you give the guy who ghosted you a second chance if he comes back!
1 thought on “How To Make A Guy Regret Ghosting You?”
Amazing article on ghosting, thank you, Alexander!
Well, you may not believe it, but I recently got a cruel form of progressive silent treatment by someone who is trained as a psychiatrist and is into ethics!
I first contacted him to show him some praise on his stances, he then involved me in one of his recent projects (reviewing a book), I found we had a sort of intellectual/spiritual connection. But when I made the mistake to tell him about that, he first orbited me only on social media, then he completely ghosted me without replying to my messages any longer. Only later did I realize everything he orchestrated was likely an illusion he was playing to construct the false idea to have greater power on me or any other female “friends.” I found his behavior twice disappointing and harmful than a standard ghoster because I believed we shared similar values due to his education, I felt betrayed with his silence and lack of guts. I realized that probably one day he’ll get what he deserves for leaving things so cowardly as I was getting attached to our exchange. The most important thing he swiped away from me, together with his communication, was TRUST. I cannot now believe he can be taken seriously in any other areas of life and bigger matters for acting so poorly and committing unhealthy omissions as a man.
We are not interacting as human beings in a healthy way at all, I am concerned by the cruelty and insensitivity some men have no shame to serve against women who just cared about them.
Anyway, thank you again for the brilliant article on this topic!