Having an Affair With a Married Narcsissist

Q: What if you are having an affair with a married person who has NPD? This seems like it could be a pretty common situation, and one that a person would try to avoid. I’d like to hear what you have to say about affairs with married narcissists. Thanks! Wonderful insights in your writing – irresistible subject.

A: Married (and unmarried) NPD people are prone to having many affairs. The affair will last as long as you have value to him or her; be forewarned–the devaluation phase will be hurtful. They frequently discard the extramarital affair on a whim, often with no explanation. As they only care about their own needs, married or unmarried doesn’t change things much for them. They will promise you the moon (and probably say they are going to leave their wives or husbands but chances are they will not) but deliver only heartache. If an individual is just looking for a brief, exciting affair and is fine with being dumped unceremoniously, then he or she probably has a good chance of meeting with success. All “relationships” with NPD individuals should be avoided, whether they are affairs or the façade of something more.

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