Ever wondered what triggers Narcissists and makes them upset?
We asked people from our Facebook group, “What do narcissists hate the most?” and these are the answers that followed.
How many did you recognize? Or which ones are missing? Here are 16 Things that Narcissist absolutely hate when it happens to them.
#1 Being Criticized:
Any criticism can infringe upon their inflated self-image, inducing feelings of humiliation.
When you criticize a narcissist, even constructively, it can often shatter their inflated self-image and lead to feelings of deep humiliation. They’ve built a self-perception fortress, and your words can feel like a wrecking ball.
It’s not that they can’t handle feedback – they just can’t handle anything that doesn’t paint them as the best. It’s not about improvement for them, it’s about maintaining the illusion of perfection. This sensitivity to critique can make relationships challenging.
You can’t bring up issues without them feeling attacked. You’re walking on eggshells, fearing their emotional backlash. You’re left doubting yourself, your words, and your actions.
#2 Being Ignored
Narcissists demand constant attention and validation. Being ignored strikes a severe blow to their exaggerated self-esteem.
Often, narcissists crave the spotlight and demand constant attention, so being ignored can feel like a direct assault on their inflated self-esteem.
Imagine you’re someone who’s built a world where you’re the center. You’ve convinced yourself that you’re exceptional, superior, and deserve constant admiration. Now, picture someone you’re interacting with just not giving you the attention you deserve. It’s a blow.
This lack of attention doesn’t just hurt. It infuriates. It’s as if they say you’re less important than you think. It challenges the grandiose self-image you’ve created. So, you react with anger and hostility. That’s what being ignored means to a narcissist. It’s more than a slight; it’s a declaration of war.
#3 Losing Control
They seek to control both situations and people around them. Loss of control can lead to feelings of discomfort and agitation.
While narcissists are notorious for their need for attention, they also have a desperate desire to control situations and people around them. Imagine having a puppeteer’s mindset, wanting to direct every move and every decision. That’s how a narcissist operates.
But what happens when the strings are cut when they lose control? It’s like a punch in the gut for them. They panic, they get agitated, they feel discomfort. Why? Because control is their security blanket. It’s what makes them feel superior and invincible.
So, when you stand up to them, when you refuse to be manipulated, you’re essentially yanking away their power. And nothing stings more for a narcissist than feeling powerless. They hate losing control.
#4 Being Exposed
Narcissists fear exposure of their true persona or manipulative behavior, as they want to maintain an illusion of perfection.
Just as the thought of losing control sends a narcissist into a frenzy, so does the fear of being exposed for who they truly are. This isn’t just about their flaws or imperfections but the unveiling of their manipulative behavior and false persona.
They’ve built an illusion of perfection around themselves, and anything that threatens to shatter this image is seen as a grave threat. Narcissists are masters of deceit, using charm and charisma to keep you in the dark. But when they’re exposed, their carefully constructed world begins to crumble.
They’ll do everything possible to deflect, deny, or shift blame. But remember, you’re not at fault. They’re just afraid of facing their reality.
#5 Independent Thoughts and Opinions
They dislike when others think independently and not according to their narrative.
Narcissists can’t stand it when you voice your own opinions or think independently, especially if it disrupts their carefully crafted narrative.
They crave control, and your independent thoughts threaten their perceived dominance. They’d love nothing more than for you to nod agreement to their every word, no questions asked.
It’s like an affront to their authority if you dare to disagree. Narcissists detest those who aren’t easily swayed and often try to belittle or dismiss your views to assert their superiority.
#6 Being Confronted
They feel threatened when confronted about their behavior because they fail to see their faults.
When you confront a narcissist about their behavior, they often react defensively, unable to acknowledge their flaws. They perceive this confrontation as a threat, an attack on their perfectly constructed self-image. In their minds, they’re infallible, superior beings who can do no wrong.
So, when you point out their faults, it’s like you’re trying to shatter this illusion. They’re not about to let that happen. They’ll likely deflect, blame you, or twist the situation to make themselves victims.
It’s crucial to remember that it’s not you, it’s their lack of self-awareness and inability to take responsibility.
They’re trapped in their world, where they’re always right and everyone else is wrong. It’s a tough spot, but understanding this can help you better handle their behavior.
#7 Facing the Truth
Whether it’s about themselves or a situation, narcissists tend to detest facing the truth as it may shatter their illusions.
In the distorted mirror of a narcissist’s reality, the truth can often be their most feared enemy. But why’s that? You see, narcissists thrive on illusions and exaggerations.
They’ve built a grandiose self-image that’s far from who they truly are. When the truth threatens to shatter this illusion, they’ll do everything they can to resist it.
Think about it, if you’ve spent your life believing you’re superior, how would you feel if someone showed you evidence to the contrary? You’d likely deflect, deny, or even lash out.
That’s exactly what they do when confronted with the truth. They’d rather live in their make-believe world, where they’re always the best, than face the harsh reality. This is why they detest facing the truth.
#8 You Standing Up To Them
Narcissists do not appreciate when others, particularly their victims, stand up for themselves, as it defies their control.
Believe it or not, the moment you start standing up for yourself is the moment a narcissist’s control begins to crumble.
They’re used to having the upper hand and manipulating situations to their advantage. But you’re challenging their perceived authority when you declare boundaries, assert your worth, and refuse to be treated poorly.
It’s not that they’re unaware of your rights, it’s that they intentionally disregard them.
Your defiance is a direct threat to their ego and sense of superiority. They hate this because it disrupts their control and exposes their true nature, which they’d rather keep hidden.
#9 When Manipulation Tactics Fail
It frustrates them if their regular manipulation techniques stop working on their victim.
Continuing to assert your boundaries can lead to another situation narcissists detest: their manipulation tactics failing.
When you no longer fall for their mind games, they become frustrated. They’re used to getting their way and controlling the narrative. When this control slips, they feel threatened.
Narcissists hate feeling powerless and insignificant, which is exactly how they feel when you don’t succumb to their manipulation. They may try harder, employing new, more sinister tactics.
However, if you stay firm in your resolve and reject their manipulation, you effectively deny them the validation they crave.
This is a blow to their inflated ego, which they can’t handle. Therefore, one of the things narcissists hate most is when their manipulation tactics fail.
#10 Your Friends and Family
Narcissists often hate the close relationships you have with friends and family because they see them as threats to their control over you.
Despite your best efforts, narcissists can’t stand your close bonds with friends and family, viewing these relationships as threats to their control over you. They’re not content with you having a support network outside their sphere of influence.
It’s not uncommon for them to isolate you, subtly or overtly discouraging contact with those who care about you.
They fear your loved ones might expose their manipulation and deceit, thus breaking their hold on you. They might even try turning you against your friends and family, painting them as enemies.
#11 Being Caught in a Lie
As truth threatens their contrived world, narcissists despise being caught in a lie.
In the world of a narcissist, nothing shatters their carefully constructed facade quite like being caught in a lie.
This moment exposes their false image, the one they’ve spent so much time perfecting. Suddenly, they’re not the flawless individual they’ve led you to believe they are.
Their lies, often told to manipulate or control, become their downfall. They’re forced to face a reality they’ve long ignored or skewed to fit their narrative.
They despise this because it threatens their contrived world. It challenges their superiority and shatters their grandiose self-image.
#12 Feeling Inferior
Narcissists consider themselves superior and dislike anything that challenges their perceived superiority.
Within the bubble of a narcissist’s self-perception, they stand tall as superior beings, and any hint of inferiority is a bitter pill they refuse to swallow.
When you dare to challenge this delusion, they react not with humility but with disdain. They can’t stand being overshadowed or outperformed. It’s like a direct assault on their self-esteem.
They’re not used to handling defeat or criticism and despise those who make them feel any less than perfect. These bruisings to their ego are intolerable. They’re always the best in their minds, and you’re just an obstacle in their path to maintaining their inflated sense of self.
#13 Others’ Success:
They often get upset witnessing others’ success, especially when it outshines their own.
Beware, as the narcissist’s ego can’t stomach the sight of your success, particularly when it outshines their own. They cannot handle the reality that you’re doing well, especially if it’s better than they’re doing.
It’s as if your success is a personal affront, a direct jab at their self-worth. They’ll likely respond with jealousy, masked as criticism or dismissiveness. You’ll notice them downplaying your achievements, making snide remarks or even resorting to outright sabotage.
They can’t stand the thought of you outshining them. Understand this isn’t about you; it’s about their fragile ego and inability to accept that others can be successful too.
Don’t let their bitterness overshadow your accomplishments. Keep shining. You’ve earned it!
#14 Setting Boundaries
Narcissists see personal boundaries as a direct attack or as limitations on what they want.
While dealing with their inability to stomach your success, you might also encounter their disdain for personal boundaries, which they often interpret as a direct attack or a limitation on their desires.
Narcissists can’t stand it when you set healthy boundaries. They view it as a challenge to their power and control.
It’s common for them to react with anger or manipulation when you draw the line. They’ll often try to gaslight you, make you feel guilty, or even use various forms of intimidation to get you to back down.
However, you must stay firm. Remember, your boundaries reflect your self-respect. Don’t let a narcissist’s discomfort discourage you from maintaining them. It’s their issue, not yours.
#15 Lack of Special Treatment
They see themselves as superior and expect preferential treatment. If they don’t get it, they become very upset.
Narcissists, viewing themselves as superior beings, often expect a red-carpet treatment in every aspect of their lives, and they don’t take it lightly when this expectation isn’t met.
You’ll see them getting upset, even outraged, when they’re not the center of attention or feel they’ve been treated like an ordinary person.
It’s not just about wanting the best seat in a restaurant or the front row at a concert. It’s an insatiable need for validation and acknowledgment of their self-perceived greatness. They crave adoration; they feel slighted and disrespected when they don’t receive it.
This lack of special treatment can lead to a narcissistic rage, a volatile reaction that’s difficult for others to handle.
#16 Empathy
As narcissists often struggle with empathizing, they resent displays of empathy which they see as signs of weakness.
Often, you’ll find that narcissists struggle with understanding and sharing the feelings of others, viewing empathy as a sign of weakness that they deeply resent. This lack of empathy can be a significant barrier to their relationships.
You’ll notice they’re quick to dismiss others’ feelings, showing little to no interest in understanding viewpoints different from their own. They can’t or won’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes, seeing it as beneath them. They may even mock or belittle displays of empathy, presenting a hard, unfeeling exterior.
This isn’t because they’re incapable of empathizing but because they see empathy as a threat to their self-image, a crack in the mask they wear. They’d rather be seen as strong and unfeeling than empathetic and vulnerable.
Before You Go
So, you see, narcissists loathe criticism, being ignored, and losing control. They’re afraid of being exposed and detest independent thinking.
They can’t stand others’ success, and boundaries irk them. Lacking special treatment and displays of empathy upset them.
Remember, understanding these triggers can help you navigate interactions with those who display narcissistic tendencies, allowing you to communicate more effectively.
