Last Updated on June 28, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
You and a guy went out to eat, and you had a great date, and now you expect the guy to call you. He has not reached out to you afterward.
Most times, a girl would interpret it to mean something negative. That he lacks interest in her or is inconsistent. It is a bad look for a guy just meeting a girl and getting to know her.
The girl is most likely to lose interest since she hasn’t known him for so long. So what are the reasons why guys don’t call when they like you?
13 Reasons Why Guys Don’t Call When They Like You
What does it mean when a man doesn’t call you? It could be anything from shyness to something much more sinister. Here are 13 reasons why guys don’t call when they want you:
#1 He is a Shy Guy
He is the “shy type” and gets nervous speaking to you over the phone. Guys like this usually avoid anything that has to do with talking for long periods.
This is because he is shy and may even stumble on his words. That is not a good look for a guy who wants to seem friendly and attractive.
Some people are more on the quiet side by nature. This trait pairs well with texting and not over-the-phone conversations.
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#2 He is Socially Awkward
He is not a social person and finds it difficult to talk to people in person. He is awkward, so although he likes you very much, he might have anxiety about calling you.
Overthinking what can go wrong is something a lot of people do. So, his fear of the conversation being awkward is a deterrence.
This is why it is good to talk to your guy about his preferred way of communication. The benefit of telling that to your significant other is that you wouldn’t feel ignored. You shouldn’t feel unimportant because he doesn’t communicate your way.
#3 He is a Catfish
You and a guy have been texting for a while and haven’t met yet. It could be because of long-distance. Yet, every time you ask him to call you, he doesn’t want to and gives excuses.
You should be aware of this kind of behavior because it could be that this person is catfishing you. It might not even be a guy that you are talking to. Social media is becoming ever so popular. So, it is wise to know the dangers that social media platforms bring.
#4 Lacks Confidence
If a guy lacks self-confidence, he may not want to call you. This could be because of a lot of things.
He might not know what to say over the phone, so he can’t lead the conversation. Many guys are afraid to mess up the conversation because he is into you.
#5 He has a Weird Voice
His voice sounds more feminine than masculine, making him feel ashamed. Men feel self-conscious when they have attributes that they consider less than manly.
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So if he likes you, he would try to hide his flaws from you so that he wouldn’t chase you away. It may be because you have just met and he is not comfortable showing you his true self. It might come across as him not showing interest, and you might feel hurt.
#6 Prefers Texting over Calls
Over-the-phone conversations aren’t a preference for everyone. Some people hate calling and talking to others. Texting may be his favorite means of communication, so he doesn’t call. It is wise to know your partner’s way of communicating.
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#7 He Always Calls You First
You and this guy have been dating for the longest time ever, and you have never called him first. He has always been the one to do so, and because of that, he stopped calling you.
It becomes frustrating when a person feels that they’re the only one putting in the effort. It takes two to tango.
If he is always attentive to you and doesn’t get back that same energy from you, he might give up pursuing you. Women need to know how long they should play hard to get.
Not texting back and not calling him at all can be a big turn-off to men. Like women, men need reassurance that the work they’re putting in is doing some good.
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#8 He is Busy
He is an active fellow and does not have time to call you. Men are not as literal as women, so he might not have time to contact you if he gets busy at work.
He is not thinking of the clock, but when he does, he’ll call and make it up to you. Don’t let down his efforts if he is trying.
#9 He is Ignoring You
When a guy you like starts ignoring you, it can feel like your world is falling apart. You begin to question why and may even trace back through your every move to see where it is that you went wrong. Was it something you said or did? Sometimes it could be him.
It may sound like it’s an easy task to express interest in someone. You ask the person out, they say yes, and there starts the beautiful story of how you two met and fell in love. Well, that is not the case anymore. People are becoming more deceitful with hidden motives.
You go on a date with a guy and end up sleeping with him the first night. He never called you after. Has this ever happened to you?
Then you may have fallen for a guy who was looking for a quick hookup. This is why many women play hard to get the first couple of dates. They try to avoid having men use them for sexual pleasure.
#10 He has Lost Interest in You
For whatever reason, he no longer finds you attractive. That physical connection is somehow no longer there. He might have found someone else that has grabbed his attention.
On your last date, something may have happened that chased him away and made him lose interest. Whatever it is, is he no longer pursuing you, so that is why he has not called.
According to Glamour Magazine, “When a guy likes a girl, he wants to hear her voice.” Texting is not an easy way to communicate; it’s an easy way to avoid communication,”
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So look out if you went on your first date with him and after that, he doesn’t try to reach you again. He may have lost interest, and so the next date you’ve been priming for doesn’t happen.
It doesn’t have to be that you did something terrible on the date. It could be that you are not what he is looking for.
#11 He is Afraid of Forming a Romantic Connection
Maybe he had a bad breakup or lousy relationship in the past, and now it is affecting his dating life. Although he is in love with you, he finds it difficult to show it because he doesn’t want anyone to hurt him again.
Many people ruin the chance of having a healthy relationship because of past trauma. This is why talking to your partner about what you have been through is very helpful. It helps your significant other be aware of what you are afraid of or don’t like to do.
#12 He’s Married or in a Relationship with Someone Else
If the guy is in a relationship with someone else, he wouldn’t be able to focus on you. His time is being split into two. Be aware of the signs, and one of those signs is if he doesn’t call you.
Every time you ask him to call, he says no, or if you call him, he declines. You need to ask yourself, “what is he hiding?” He wouldn’t be able to contact you every time you want him to because he could be with his wife or girlfriend.
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#13 He is Afraid of Being Clingy or Needy
If he is always calling you and you notice he stops, it could be that he doesn’t want to appear clingy or needy. So he chose not to contact you for a while to avoid you getting annoyed with him.
So to prevent himself from coming off as a clingy person, he might not call you much at all. Many people’s behavior comes from previous opposite behaviors that got ridiculed.
In a past relationship, it could be that he used to call a lot. His former girlfriend may have called him annoying or clingy for doing so.
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Why Do Guys Say They’ll Call and Don’t?
Why didn’t he call when he said he would? What is the reason behind this? When a man doesn’t call when he says he would, he is either pulling away from you or ghosting you.
Ghosting is a mean-spirited way to end a relationship with one’s partner. The ghoster withdraws all communication with no form of explanation.
Many women are victims of ghosting, which may be why we so often jump to that conclusion when a guy doesn’t keep his word.
According to The fab20s Magazine, “There are many different reasons why he might not call when he says he will, and the best way to deal with this is to not jump to conclusions.”
Women prefer men who honor their commitments and do what they say they’ll do. Here are some reasons why guys say they’ll call and don’t.
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He Wants to See how Much you Want Him
If a guy says he is going to call and he doesn’t, it could be that he wants to know if you would care. Although women are usually are the ones to play hard to get, some men do the same.
Sometimes if a guy feels like you’re using him, he might use this strategy. It’s a way to see if you like them as much as they like you.
Guys don’t usually ignore a woman, especially when they like her. Unlike women, it is not as easy for a guy to play hard to get. Often, guys like to toy with girls’ feelings, and no one wants to have to go through that.
According to Hasty Reader Magazine, “Simply texting a guy first will never make him like you less. On the contrary, being the first to send a message will make him even more interested in you.
This is because guys often feel they have to read between the lines to figure out if the new girl they’re going on dates with likes them or not.
Calling or sending a text message first is a clear signal that you like him. This will make him excited because now he knows there’s something there if he plays his cards right.”
He Prefers to Talk in Person
If you are dealing with an old-fashioned guy, calling over the phone might not be his style. He might choose to speak in person, so he doesn’t call you. Instead, he comes to see you.
Body language and facial expressions are important. He might like to see those things when speaking to you. Talking over the phone conceals these feelings because it is not seen.
He might not know how to work the phone too well if he is older. A phone conversation might be difficult and frustrating for him. So, he prefers talking to you in person.
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He is not Serious About You
He’s not going to put in hard work to keep you if he doesn’t see a future with you. Calling you every chance he gets is nowhere in his mind because he doesn’t love you.
You provide him with something he likes, for instance, sexual satisfaction. Your time is precious, so you shouldn’t let any man waste it. You need to notice when a guy is not serious about you. One of those signs is when he doesn’t reach out to call or even message you.
Is he only calling you when he wants to come over to have sex? Then he is not treating you like a girlfriend. You are being treated more like a hookup.
He Forgets to Call You
It is easy for someone to forget to contact you when they said they would. People forget to do things all the time. But, if he consistently fails to call you after he said he would, consider yourself less of a priority to him.
He Got Busy
According to Hack Spirit Magazine “Life gets busy, and schedules change. Everyone knows that. But there’s a huge difference between having to sometimes change plans or cancel a date and being constantly put on the backburner.”
Things happen that we cannot control. We don’t always get what we want. If he says he will call you tonight and doesn’t keep his word, don’t get mad and jump to conclusions.
It could be as simple as being busy or getting caught up with something. Yet, if he calls to apologize, or even lets you know before the fact, that would be a nice gesture. It shows the amount of respect he has for your time and emotions.
He said That so You’d Leave Him Alone
You and a guy meet at a bar and you ask him for his number. Instead, he asks for yours and says he’ll call you but then doesn’t.
As awful as it may seem, he may have said that to get away from you. Sometimes, people lie to others so that they don’t have to be mean and say no. Some people give out the wrong number. Others ask for the person’s number with no intention to call.
What to do When He Says He Will Call and Doesn’t
What should you do when a man breaks his word to call you? There is nothing worse than feeling invested in a man than finding out he is inconsistent.
There goes your hope of having a relationship with him! The anger, the disbelief, and the pain you feel when you are in this situation are horrible. What can you do to help yourself in such a painful and challenging situation?
First of all, you need to know that having a man commit to you depends on two things. What do you bring to the table? Are you the only person he’s seeing? Here’s what you can do when a man doesn’t keep his end of the bargain.
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Don’t Answer his Call Again
If he is playing games, then why can’t you? When he is calling, don’t answer your phone so that he’ll realize that you have a life as well.
Make it known to him that you are not dependent on his call. You shouldn’t keep talking to him whenever he wants to if he isn’t keeping up his end of the bargain. That isn’t fair to you, and that only shows him that you are in love with him more than he is in love with you.
Block and Forget About Him.
If he is not keeping his word about calling you, then you shouldn’t be with this guy. Something small as not calling you when he said he will is an indicator.
He will be inconsistent in bigger things as well. You shouldn’t be okay with a guy treating you like you have no value to him. You will live your life keeping your hopes up, and he will always disappoint you.
Communication is vital for any relationship to be healthy and last long. Jumping to conclusions without knowing the whole story is something most humans do.
As a guy, if you are busy and you know that you had to call her, send her a text letting her know. Reschedule the call with her or something. Being active is not the problem. Not communicating is.
Yet, even though you are busy, you need to set time aside for your partner. Your partner should be a priority to you as well, not only your job.
Most guys are not very verbal with their feelings. But, if he is in love with you, he should feel comfortable enough to tell you how he feels.
If you’ve have been together for a while, you may feel more comfortable calling him if he hasn’t called you first. This is because you have been around the guy long enough to know his intentions. Most women assess a guy’s every move during and after a date.
This is because they are trying to get to know the guy they just met. Jumping to conclusions never helped solve anything. If you want to see the truth about why he hasn’t called you after he said he would, contact and ask him.
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Should You Call a Guy First?
Women like it when guys chase them. It gives a feeling of being wanted. It’s also an indicator of the guy’s seriousness. For many guys, it prevents them from losing interest in the girl. But, if a guy feels unwanted for an extended period, the guy can lose interest.
Imagine the guy you are dating is sick, so he hasn’t called you all day. Instead of you calling him, you get mad about it.
Or even worse, he messaged you and told you he is sick and you don’t call. He tells you he is not well because he expects you to call him.
As a loving girlfriend, would you stop yourself from reaching out? Would you ignore his illness because you believe he should contact you first?
A relationship should not have issues on who should be the first to call. Both of you should be comfortable calling each other any time of the day. Why? Because you know that you both have a strong bond. Phone calls shouldn’t be a deal-breaker for anyone’s relationship.
It is okay for you, as a woman, to call a guy first. There is nothing wrong with that. Instead, it will cause him to love you even more. When you call him first, it makes him feel wanted in your life.
But, if you and this guy just had your first date, then you should wait to see if he would call you. This is so you don’t come off to him as too eager.
So to answer this question, yes, you should be comfortable calling a guy first. But, in the first few weeks of dating, let him do the reaching out to see if he wants you.
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