Do you think you’re able to see a narcissist’s manipulative tactics? 

I want you to think again, because they are always a step ahead! 

Narcissists are masters of subtlety, and they use passive-aggressive moves that can leave you wondering if you’re finally going mad. 

There are five passive-aggressive tactics you need to know about – and how the narcissist uses them against you will leave you speechless!

So, buckle up, as we are about to decode everything.

Passive-Aggressiveness and Narcissism

Not all aggressiveness is going to be overt. People shout, but when they don’t, they can still leave scars of worry and deflation in the person who they aim for. 

Your character can be broken by regular bouts of passive-aggressiveness sent by narcissists, and just because they aren’t breaking the sound barrier with their rageful voice, that doesn’t mean they aren’t causing damage. 

Narcissists use passive-aggressive behavior as a way to control you. It comes from their inability to talk to a person with the right emotion, words, or frame of mind.

Instead, they see it as another opportunity to punish you and inject further anxiety into you. 

Don’t mistake it – narcissists love to do this. When you react with the ‘paranoia’ as they will call it, you will be the problem, not them.

This is not the case at all!

Why Narcissists Use Passive – Aggressiveness

Narcissists are a big fan of passive-aggressive behavior as it means they can act accordingly without making a scene.

Narcissists are good at making scenes, but they will use passive-aggressive attempts to get under your skin if they want to protect their character.

The 5 Passive-Aggressive Tactics to Watch Out For

#1 Sarcasm

Lovely car. I always did see you in something big and bulky.

Wow, this chicken is definitely cooked, isn’t it? Did you forget it was in the oven for a little while?

You’re so sensitive today – I’m sure it has nothing to do with your hormones this time of the month.

Enough, already, right? You want to yell at them to stop, but you know if you do, they will look at you with those wide, ‘trying to be innocent’ eyes. 

Narcissists know exactly what to say to make every moment worse, and it can be sarcasm toward any kind of your personality or character. 

They do it because that part of you shines. You’re probably an amazing cook, and your car is newer than theirs.

And yes, so what, your hormones fluctuate through each month because that’s what happens and as a result you feel actual emotions (that they can’t feel) – but narcissists make every little thing you do a problem. 

#2 Backhanded Compliments

You look younger than you usually do.

It’s a nice dress. It’s giving off really boring librarian vibes.

You have one of those voices that could send people right off to sleep.

You know the kinds of comments I mean, but those are a few golden examples of how narcissists can be completely passive-aggressive while trying to maintain that they’re being kind.

No, I didn’t mean it that way!

Yes they did! Don’t ever get sucked into the lies that follow. They will try and create an innocent bubble around themselves, but that’s really for self-preservation.

When you become the problem by being offended, the attention goes to you, and not their original, unkind statement made to you. 

This is standard narcissistic behavior, and they all get off so badly on dropping daily backhanded compliments to whoever they will work for. 

#3 The Silence

The most wrongly assumed form of conflict is shouting. 

Yes – it’s horrible to hear raised voices. Nobody wants to engage in slanging matches, and they are not good for our mental or physical health. But what about silence?

The silent treatment is a ploy narcissists use to draw in their victims and make them feel on edge, anxious, and guilty. The tactic works by undermining any level of empathy the victim may have, and using it as a tool of abuse. 

It’s wrong – and that’s why it’s such a popular way to punish and control victims.

If you have ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you’ll know how minutes can feel like hours.

You’ll understand how your mind can race, and bounce from incorrect to incorrect assumptions – mostly about yourself. 

There will be times you will replay what happened just before the narcissist went silent on you, in the hope you can piece together exactly what you did that was so wrong; so terrible. 

None of this will help you. Nothing will give you the answers you need. 

The narcissist knows what they’re doing, and they will continue because they know they’re not “shouting” or “making a scene.”

Silence is just as damaging, folks. 

#4 Subtle Insults

I love how comfortable you are just going make-up free. It must be really liberating for you. 

I didn’t invite you to the theater for that show because you don’t strike me as somebody who would appreciate the finer arts. 

Any kind of comment that seems to derive from a compliment or a concern is a huge way to be passive-aggressive to another person.

Narcissists perfect this and know how to start that inner fire of frustration inside you, don’t they? 

Have you ever noticed how they do this in secret, too? Sometimes they can even just pass you comments right before you enter that family event.

They want to ensure you have a miserable time, because then they can appear happy, carefree while you have to force the outer desire to be there. 

These kinds of insults are cruel, and not only do they get you to feel like you’re in a certain frame of mind, but they’re also widely known to decrease your self-esteem.

#5 The “Joking”

Oh my goodness. You know, this is what I actually hear the most. Victims of narcissistic abuse are forever telling me that their abuser used to joke all the time.

It pretty much gave them free reign to say whatever they wanted to say, while trying to disguise it as light-hearted fun or jest.

There’s nothing jestful about being outright mean. You cannot just say a hurtful thing to somebody you love, watch their face fall, and then pat them on the back and blame them for not being able to take a joke.

No.

I’m sorry. This is where – yes of course – the narcissist’s greatest tactic is to get you to a mental place of feeling total worthlessness about yourself.

But pretending it was a joke when they intended to shift your mood from confident to couldn’t-care-less-about-yourself…

…It’s the highest form of passive-aggressiveness. 

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!