This is your official challenge!
Whenever you meet a narcissist, your challenge is to not see these 11 things in their character.
I bet you can’t, and if you can, I want you to tell me in the comments your experiences.
We need to share, we need to get the message out there that these things are what make them narcissists in the first place.
Knowing them all can help keep us away from these people.
So let’s go – the challenge begins!
#1 Causes drama wherever they go
Life is boring without conflict if you’re a narcissist. Peace and quiet are the enemy, and only allow their inner voices to become louder and louder:
You are horrible.
You’re useless.
People hate you.
You’re so insecure.
You’re fearful of more than you’ll ever admit.
The narcissist wants so badly to drown these dark, deep thoughts from their mind, so they seek to create drama.
They seek to pull others down. They seek to make life loud so they never have to deal with what makes them narcissists in the first place.
Drama to them is like a long slurp of supply, and every time they watch people fall out, lose contact, fail, cry, or show fear, they know they’ve won.
#2 Always falling out with friends
Do you ever notice that the narcissists you know don’t actually have real friends?
Sure, they can have a thousand acquaintances, but real, solid, lifelong, trusting friends? Not a chance.
It’s perfectly common for these people to fall out with who they do know.
One fallout is always somebody else’s fault, and never theirs.
Soon enough, the narcissist will find a new best friend even just for a short time, and that eventually will implode, too.
The fallouts usually occur when the so-called friend starts to catch on that they’ve been hanging out with a narcissist.
When that lightbulb goes on, dynamics change, and the narcissist is so quick at catching onto this that it’s almost always the first sign of the friendship breaking down.
They can’t hang onto anything for long, and boy do you hear about it. In fact, it’s so common that you can barely keep up.
#3 Obsess over money
Money means everything to the kinds of people who are obsessed with material life, instead of focusing on what really matters. You know, love, friendship, trust, kindness, being a good person…
…Narcissists have no idea what any of this means! For them, money is their friend.
They want as much of it as they can possibly get so they can show off how much they’re worth to the world.
They think money equates to being a good person, but they really have no idea. Money can come and go, but kindness lives forever.
You know you’ve met a narcissist when they’re obsessed with showing people how their money makes up their status.
#4 Gives the silent treatment
Silent treatment isn’t normal. What’s normal is talking about your feelings, showing others that you care and are capable of talking and communicating when you need to.
The silent treatment is a tool used by manipulative people who enjoy playing games and feeling as though their silence is their control over you.
If you suffer with somebody like this in your life, you’re absolutely dealing with a narcissist, and you will never meet one who isn’t a fan of turning their back on you for no reason.
#5 Demands attention 24/7
From the moment you wake up, to the moment you go to bed, and even through the night if you’re really unlucky, narcissists want your attention.
You could be at work in a meeting and see constant calls or texts coming through on your phone from them.
When they want you, you have to drop everything. When they need your supply, they will stop your whole world just to get you to look at them.
If you’re not doing those things, prepare to see a side of the narcissist that you don’t necessarily like seeing.
They are all the same.
#6 Takes over conversations
You’re talking normally, just getting along with people, or telling the narcissist about your day, and they butt in.
Not just once, but several times. And when they aren’t verbally butting in, they’re doing something to draw attention to themselves and make the conversation about them.
It’s infuriating how often this happens, and I’m afraid to say, there’s no way you’re going to not notice it about all narcissists.
It makes you feel like you’re invisible, and to them, you may as well be.
#7 Steals people’s thunder
I knew a person once who announced her pregnancy at the reception of her own sister’s wedding.
I will never forget hearing about it and thinking that this was the height of narcissism.
Stealing thunder is just a way to bring the attention back on them, but it also shows just how much intolerance narcissists have for others when it comes to success, achievements, or good news.
#8 Steals your identity
There isn’t a narcissist alive who won’t take your identity from you over the course of knowing them.
They want you to be a certain version of a person they can control and manipulate.
They want you to act and be and dress a certain way because it fits with their dynamic they’re building around them.
And so, you are left without that core part of yourself.
#9 Sabotages your confidence
Where you once had the confidence to go for that job, or speak publicly, or wear that dress or believe you have what it takes to start that fitness class, it’s all been taken away from you.
The narcissist can’t bear to see you flourish so the one thing they love to do is strip you of what you were born with.
This is the kind of narcissistic abuse that can take some time to heal, but let me tell you, all narcissists do this.
#10 Makes you fearful
A certain amount of fear is healthy, but to fear so much and have it interrupt and alter your life in huge ways is not helpful to you.
It can be frustrating to want so much, yet be too scared to go for it because you’re fearful.
Narcissists make you fearful by the way they act toward you, and by making the world seem like a scary place unless they’re a big part of it.
That’s why so many victims stay for so long.
#11 Uses guilt as a weapon
You only ever think of yourself.
After all I’ve done for you, this is what you do.
Wow, I guess my feelings don’t matter at all to you.
I wouldn’t act this way if you didn’t push me.
You can see why narcissists love to use the guilt card, and how it can work on the most people-pleasing of victims.
Using it as a weapon like this is guaranteed to bring the narcissist unnecessary apologies and altered behavior in order for their victim to conform and fall in line.
And this is the case for all narcissists.
