Most of the time in life, less is more. Silence can be more powerful than screaming at the top of your lungs and trying to make yourself heard and seen.
When it comes to narcissists, you will get the opportunity to destroy them without even opening your mouth. Trust me when I say, that’s a great place to be.
And the way you destroy them will forever leave them weakened to your narcissistic radar.
Let’s start from the beginning!
#1 I know how hard it is to keep your cool
When you’ve kept your cool for as long as you have, I appreciate that a narcissist will dig and dig your sanity out of the ground and leave you wanting to scream and shout.
Then it will be your fault, right? You’re the one who caused the scene by doing what you did in reaction to thor constant abuse.
And so who always ends up getting destroyed?
You!
You’re the one they point the finger at, telling you what a terrible person you are, and leaving you with feelings of guilt and shame.
You apologize, because it seems like the only right thing to do, and suddenly their initial behavior gets swept under the carpet.
None of it seems fair, yet here you are on a cycle of repeat.
In truth, your reactions cause them to gain full control over all situations, and learning to keep your cool can prove incredibly challenging.
#2 You want to destroy them? Do this!
When it comes to flipping the script and destroying the narcissist, I am in full support of it.
Anything that gets you out of the passenger seat, and behind the metaphoric steering wheel of your own life, I will encourage.
So then it becomes your turn to destroy the narcissist.
But knowing you without even knowing you, I’d hazard a guess that you are done trying to do that using your voice and words.
After all this time, they’ve been proven ineffective.
So how do you do it instead? This is where I want to remind you of my favorite saying.
The best revenge is success.
Success doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a continuous movement that you have to push in order to be the best version of yourself possible.
But when you succeed, even in the smallest of ways, you are destroying the narcissist each and every time.
There will be nothing they can do to stop you once you get into the groove of refusing to allow them access to your success, and it will be the death of their control over you.
And that will destroy them!
#3 No words are necessary!
The best part about implementing success in your own life, is that you don’t even have to speak a word to the narcissist.
There doesn’t need to be conflict, you don’t need to react to their manipulative ways, and you can carry on shooting for your goals without a word to them.
After all, they’re your goals. Nobody else needs to even know what they are!
Remember this:
Words are the narcissist’s best friend.
Think of all the times you’ve gone to them saying:
What’s wrong?
Did I do something to upset you?
Why won’t you talk to me?
I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.
Please talk to me.
What was it all for? Giving yourself away to them like that has only moved you further away from your own truth; your own goals.
#4 Your destruction is the start of their demise
Now is a good time to put out that a narcissist is happy when you are in pain, miserable, and not living a life anywhere near as good as it can be.
They love it. Why? Because a narcissist will only look good against those who are truly falling apart.
They know they’re onto something good when you’re struggling, and it’s only going to end up making you feel worse, too.
Destroying them by being successful, by showing up, by loving your life, by saying yes to opportunities, by looking after yourself, will be the start of their demise.
As long as you are shining, the light of the narcissist is dimming and dimming to almost nothing.
They hate it, even more so because the control they may have once had over you doesn’t exist any more.
You’ve decided you want to be in control of your own destiny, and you won’t be swayed by a comment, behavior or action they take to try to dent your progression.
It’s in the way you defy their abuse that makes them feel significantly smaller than they’ve ever felt.
You might hear their attempts to pull you down, but you don’t listen to a word of it.
It no longer holds that power over you, and it can then feel like you are a bird set free from the shackles of abuse forever.
#5 Watching them squirm
There’s really no better way to look at the narcissist than seeing them squirm and fidget in the discomfort of your gaining of strength.
They long to see you fail, to stumble and regret trying to make something of yourself.
It doesn’t work though, because your determination to prove them wrong is the fuel that keeps you going.
I see it so frequently with the people that I work with, and over the course of my career so far,
I have been blessed to help so many of them realize not just their worth, but how to use it as the ultimate destruction.
And the best part about it is, you don’t actually have to be horrible.
You’re just succeeding, right?
#6 Coming away a winner
Don’t you think you earned that right? I do!
All this time you’ve lived in the shadow of the narcissist, when you could be stepping into your light and making the most of the time you have here.
Far be it from me to tell you what that directly looks like, as it will differ for all of you. But let me say this:
The only way you will know what you’re capable of in life is if you try it all.
It’s the only way you can come away a winner.
#7 Why silence is the best way to deal with narcissists
This doesn’t need arguments. It doesn’t need conflict, or drama, or explanations, or even validation.
Silence means you give the narcissist nothing, and in return for that, you offer yourself the gift of something valuable for you.
Your first job is to understand the power behind silence. You might have previously mistaken it for keeping quiet, not speaking up or having a voice, but this time, rather than be told to be quiet, you’re choosing to.
That’s where you get control, and you get to determine what happens next.
That’s a great place to be, isn’t it?
Destroying the narcissist will prove that you had that power all along, and now you’re finding out how to use it wisely, and to your own advantage.
In the movies, they have leading ladies, and leading men.
It’s time to be the leading person in your life.
