Sometimes I come into these topics a little more casually than others…

…This is not one of those times.

Narcissists are known for being placated all the while you say or do the right thing, and even that doesn’t last forever.

But then there’s the flip side of that coin. The side where you should never speak or say what you might want to say.

Why?

Because it’ll never end well.

So, what are those things? Well, I’ve got 10 for you, and I’m ready to dive in.

Now, You Can Say A Lot…

As long as it’s what they want to hear!

You could sit all day with a narcissist and gossip with them. You could leave at the end of that day thinking you really got on and gelled, but the reality is – they don’t think that about you at all.

In fact, they will come away from that day thinking, “I’ve got so much information from this pathetic person, and they fell for my charm and pseudo-interest in them.”

It’s a constant false sense of security, which leaves people feeling so disappointed when they realize it was all a big lie.

Compliance is Their Happy Place

If you’re doing as they want, they’re happy, even if you’re not.

The trouble begins when you start saying things you should never say to a narcissist – and some of those statements will be what the narcissist wants to hear!

Let’s start looking at some examples.

The 10 Things You Should Never Say To a Narcissist

1 “I Accept Your Apology”

Accepting the narcissist’s empty apology means they automatically have permission to do whatever they did all over again.

Did they come home late and not tell you where they are?

Well – good! You said it was okay, so expect more of the same!

Do you see how damaging it is to allow them to hurt you, and for you to say, “Don’t worry about it”?

While the narcissist is laughing, you’re left feeling even more unhappy than you were to begin with, and it’s all because you want the narcissist to be happy.

You’ve learned that as long as they have a smile on their face, there will be peace in your home.

What about you?

2 “You’re a Narcissist!”

Ouch. Even as I type those words, I can hear a pin drop right now.

Telling a narcissist that they’re a narcissist is going to cause so much trouble, and nothing will be the same after that.

Narcissists thrive all the while you are ignoring their games, but the second you latch onto reality – there’s no going back.

You can expect a complete discard from the narcissist in your life if you tell them that they’re a narcissist.

They will know they can no longer control you, and will deem you useless to them. They may even resort to denial, or projecting your thoughts back onto you, making you appear to be the toxic one.

Whatever happens – it won’t be pretty.

3 “I Know Your Game”

Predicting what the narcissist is going to do next means you’ve spent a long time studying them and getting to know how they operate.

If you were to put this across to the narcissist, they will have a hard time continuing to do what they’ve previously gotten away with.

From that – you can expect them to up their game severely, and switch gears to be an even more destructive force.

4 “You’re So Insecure Underneath it All”

Ouch.

Narcissists have such fragile egos, I don’t think any of them are going to tolerate you being so direct and honest with them. This is a case of the truth hurts, and spotting the narcissist’s insecurities is one thing.

Telling them what you think is quite another.

Not only does this phrase prove you’ve figured them out, it proves you’re willing to actually go one step further and tell them.

5 “You Don’t Love Me”

Saying you don’t love me to a narcissist does several things – and not all of them are to do with them.

For starters, you’re giving them total control in how they male you feel. Yes, you’re likely right.

They don’t love you. But that’s not because of anything you’ve done wrong. Knowing you’re bothered by their treatment of you leaves them feeling somewhat proud that they can successfully manipulate you.

But also – for you – this phrase is a reminder that you deserve better.

6. “I’m Going To Tell Everybody What You Did”

Well, if you’re going to do that then let me prepare you for a huge fallout.

It’s not going to be pretty, but I think you already know this.

When a narcissist feels threatened, they react. When they are threatened, they will react even more so.

This can be via rage, denial, the silent treatment, starting a smear campaign about you, or discarding you altogether. Whatever happens – there will be a punishment.

Narcissists being found is their worst nightmare.

7. “It’s My Fault”

No!

This is a constant reminder I have to throw out to all of you so frequently.

It’s not your fault.

Narcissistic abuse is the fault of the abuser, and that’s all there is to it.

Never ever hand over your power to the narcissist in this way. Not ever.

8. “You’re Right”

Can I yell no again?!

In what world are narcissists right?

There are two options.

One is where they’ve convinced you they’re right.

The other is where you tell them they’re right just to keep the peace.

Neither is right.

Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to tell them anything to keep the level of conflict down!

9. “Whatever You Want”

This is usually the point the victim is so keen to please the narcissist that they will literally say anything to make it happen.

Whatever you want is another phrase that hands the controls to the narcissist.

Not only can you not blame them if it all goes wrong (you told them to do it, remember?), you also don’t get a say as it wasn’t your original preference.

Whatever you want is exactly what the narcissist wants.

10. “I Love You No Matter What”

If this isn’t permission to treat you however they want, with no consequence or boundary in place to protect you, then I don’t know what is.

Never tell a narcissist that you will love them no matter what they say or do, or how they treat you.

Not only is it the worst kind of way to give your heart to somebody, it shows you have no real morals when it comes to toleration.

It’s something to really think about the next time you decide to drop your guard for somebody who thinks very little of you in return.

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists!

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be.

They’re also incredibly convincing at it.

But don’t be fooled.

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at.

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you.

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen.

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them.

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally.

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you?

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword.

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all.

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others.

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind.

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively.

The key?

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist.

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable.

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?)

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?”

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks.

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else.

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up.

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points.

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to.

Let’s start unlock that potential!

You Must Never Say These 10 Things to a Narcissist