You can reveal so much to a narcissist, and they will love you for it.
From vulnerabilities to admissions that aren’t yours to admit – you’re going to be the narcissist’s best friend if you hold your hands up from time to time.
There is one thing you must never reveal – unless you want to change your relationship with them forever.
What is it?
Well, funny you should ask, because I’ve got the answer right here.
The Narcissist Already Doesn’t Like You…
I know it’s not what you want to hear, but if truth be told, the narcissist already has you (and everybody else) down as the enemy. It’s just how they work and play you that makes you think otherwise.
There is one thing you can say to a narcissist to ensure everything thereafter changes. It’s not a thought, or even an opinion.
What you’re offering them is a fact, and you’re shining it far into their eyes so they can’t avoid it.
And when you do, they’re dislike for you will quickly turn to hatred.
The One Thing To Never Reveal…
If you ever say:
“You tick all the boxes of a narcissist”…
Prepare for all hell to break loose.
Narcissists are never prepared for such a direct hit on their personality and everything that’s wrong with it. They’re never prepared for you to be so courageous that you speak the truth.
They’re never prepared for you figuring them out.
What Happens When You Do?
Narcissists like a certain dynamic in relationships, and they work hard to carve that out.
That can look like cutting people off when they need to, or pretending to be somebody else’s best friend. If it means it gives them what they want, they’re all in.
And to the unsuspecting, they just seem like nice people when they want to spend time with you. Little do those people know, there’s a plan being hatched, and they’re a huge part of it.
So – when those dynamics start to break down, the narcissist panics. It’s a little bit like a crumbling house…
“I built this from scratch, and now it’s falling apart and I’ve got nowhere to live!”
The house of toxicity falls when you admit you’re onto them.
No longer can they manipulate you, because you’re not falling for their lies or games. You don’t believe them when they speak, and you see how they cause trouble wherever they go.
You have figured out that the common denominator in all the drama and pain – is the narcissist.
They panic.
They rage.
They may even discard you altogether (after all, what use are you now you know the truth?)
I’m not going to promise you a garden of roses if you speak up so bravely and honestly, but I am going to promise a shift in your own healing.
Personal Smear Campaigns
They’re very common!
A smear campaign is a purposeful attack on you and your name, to anybody who will listen.
Prepare for the spread of lies and gossip about you, and your innermost secrets and vulnerabilities becoming public.
Suddenly, you’re the problem. You’re the crazy one…
…You’re the narcissist.
It’s hell for those on the receiving end, but it’s done as a way to punish and deflect.
All the toxicity must be shone onto you, and not the narcissist. They cannot allow anybody else to figure out who they really are.
It’s known that victims of narcissistic abuse lose people they thought cared about them during the smear campaign process. It hurts, and there will always be those who surprise you with who they choose to side with.
You must never let that stop you from standing your ground, and giving your reality the time it has deserved and needed.
They Can Go “No Contact” — but Not in the Way You Might Want
If you have tried reading in the past how to handle a narcissist, you’ve probably come across the term, no contact.
This means to cut off all contact with the toxic person in question, and blocking them wherever possible to avoid future communication potential.
If you out a narcissist, be prepared for your no contact to have no affect on how they paint you to other people.
In fact, while it does you the world of good to not hear from or see them, they’re busy telling everybody else how much of a victim they are, and how much you are punishing them for something they didn’t do.
It’s a total power play to make you feel helpless, and to get revenge on you for your ‘crass comment’ of calling them a narcissist.
The Best Revenge Is… Keeping Your Cool
It’s always the best revenge! Keeping your cool is how you get through the difficult times the narcissist has lined up for you.
All the ways they want to make you squirm and regret crossing them will come to light, but you have to do your best to rise above it.
What they want is a reaction – but what they need to receive is a smile and you not caring any less.
The last thing you want is for the narcissist to feed off your emotions – so give them nothing. That’s how you stay empowered.
Protect Your Reputation by Playing It Smart
When you’ve dropped the I know all about you bomb on the narcissist – it’s too late to take it back. My advice would be – play it smart. Knowing what to do next means you can go some way to protect yourself.
I’d start by maintaining your composure. Don’t react – no matter how tempting that might be.
Remember – the narcissist is going to want to make you look crazy or unstable – and it’s up to you to prove them wrong. Keep being you, and you will confuse those who have been told lies about you.
Exposing a narcissist isn’t going to make them realize the error of their ways; they’re always going to be a narcissist.
It’s time to preserve your peace of mind and avoid throwing fuel onto their narcissistic fire.
Remember… Narcissists Are Experts at Playing the Victim
Narcissists are going to always try to play the victim wherever possible. It’s not up to you to prove that they aren’t – sometimes they can do that all by themselves by accidentally allowing their mask to slip.
If this happens – you watch from a distance with a smile.
Narcissists want empathy after you’ve accused them of something – especially something as big and accurate as calling them a narcissist!
Don’t ever let them make you think, “Wow, Maybe I was a little harsh.” No – you were not harsh. You were being honest, and in being honest, you panicked the narcissist into forcing a dynamic shift.
Narcissists want people to care about them, and ask if they’re okay. These moments can lead to the narcissist being given the perfect opportunity to play their violin and talk about how unfair you are.
Let them, I say!
