You can reveal so much to a narcissist, and they will love you for it.
From vulnerabilities to admissions that aren’t yours to admit – you’re going to be the narcissist’s best friend if you hold your hands up from time to time.
There is one thing you must never reveal – unless you want to change your relationship with them forever.
What is it?
Well, funny you should ask, because I’ve got the answer right here.
The Narcissist Already Doesn’t Like You…
I know it’s not what you want to hear, but if truth be told, the narcissist already has you (and everybody else) down as the enemy.
It’s just how they work and play you that makes you think otherwise.
There is one thing you can say to a narcissist to ensure everything thereafter changes. It’s not a thought, or even an opinion.
What you’re offering them is a fact, and you’re shining it far into their eyes so they can’t avoid it.
And when you do, they’re dislike for you will quickly turn to hatred.
The One Thing To Never Reveal…
If you ever say:
“You tick all the boxes of a narcissist”…
Prepare for all hell to break loose.
Narcissists are never prepared for such a direct hit on their personality and everything that’s wrong with it. They’re never prepared for you to be so courageous that you speak the truth.
They’re never prepared for you figuring them out.
What Happens When You Do?
Narcissists like a certain dynamic in relationships, and they work hard to carve that out.
That can look like cutting people off when they need to, or pretending to be somebody else’s best friend. If it means it gives them what they want, they’re all in.
And to the unsuspecting, they just seem like nice people when they want to spend time with you. Little do those people know, there’s a plan being hatched, and they’re a huge part of it.
So – when those dynamics start to break down, the narcissist panics. It’s a little bit like a crumbling house…
“I built this from scratch, and now it’s falling apart and I’ve got nowhere to live!”
The house of toxicity falls when you admit you’re onto them.
No longer can they manipulate you, because you’re not falling for their lies or games. You don’t believe them when they speak, and you see how they cause trouble wherever they go.
You have figured out that the common denominator in all the drama and pain – is the narcissist.
They panic.
They rage.
They may even discard you altogether (after all, what use are you now you know the truth?)
I’m not going to promise you a garden of roses if you speak up so bravely and honestly, but I am going to promise a shift in your own healing.
Personal Smear Campaigns
They’re very common!
A smear campaign is a purposeful attack on you and your name, to anybody who will listen.
Prepare for the spread of lies and gossip about you, and your innermost secrets and vulnerabilities becoming public.
Suddenly, you’re the problem. You’re the crazy one…
…You’re the narcissist.
It’s hell for those on the receiving end, but it’s done to punish and deflect.
All the toxicity must be shone onto you, and not the narcissist. They cannot allow anybody else to figure out who they really are.
It’s known that victims of narcissistic abuse lose people they thought cared about them during the smear campaign process. It hurts, and there will always be those who surprise you with who they choose to side with.
You must never let that stop you from standing your ground, and giving your reality the time it deserves and needs.
They Can Go “No Contact” — but Not in the Way You Might Want
If you have tried reading in the past how to handle a narcissist, you’ve probably come across the term, no contact.
This means avoiding contact with the toxic person in question and blocking them wherever possible to avoid future communication potential.
If you are a narcissist, be prepared for your no contact to not affect how they paint you to other people.
In fact, while it does you the world of good to not hear from or see them, they’re busy telling everybody else how much of a victim they are and how much you are punishing them for something they didn’t do.
It’s a total power play to make you feel helpless and to get revenge on you for your ‘crass comment’ of calling them a narcissist.
The Best Revenge Is… Keeping Your Cool
It’s always the best revenge! Keeping your cool is how you get through the difficult times the narcissist has lined up for you.
All the ways they want to make you squirm and regret crossing them will come to light, but you must do your best to rise above it.
What they want is a reaction, but they need to receive a smile and you not caring any less.
The last thing you want is for the narcissist to feed off your emotions – so give them nothing. That’s how you stay empowered.
Protect Your Reputation by Playing It Smart
When you’ve dropped the I know all about you bomb on the narcissist – it’s too late to take it back. My advice would be – play it smart. Knowing what to do next means you can go some way to protect yourself.
I’d start by maintaining your composure. Don’t react – no matter how tempting that might be.
Remember – the narcissist is going to want to make you look crazy or unstable – and it’s up to you to prove them wrong. Keep being you, and you will confuse those who have been told lies about you.
Exposing a narcissist isn’t going to make them realize the error of their ways; they’re always going to be a narcissist.
It’s time to preserve your peace of mind and avoid throwing fuel onto their narcissistic fire.
Remember… Narcissists Are Experts at Playing the Victim
Narcissists are going to always try to play the victim wherever possible. It’s not up to you to prove that they aren’t – sometimes they can do that by accidentally allowing their mask to slip.
If this happens – you watch from a distance with a smile.
Narcissists want empathy after you’ve accused them of something – especially something as big and accurate as calling them a narcissist!
Don’t ever let them make you think, “Wow, Maybe I was a little harsh.” No – you were not harsh. You were being honest, and in being honest, you panicked the narcissist into forcing a dynamic shift.
Narcissists want people to care about them, and ask if they’re okay. These moments can lead to the narcissist being given the perfect opportunity to play their violin and talk about how unfair you are.
Let them, I say!
How To Outsmart The Narcissist?
Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.
Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?
Wrong!
You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!
Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.
So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?
Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask
Narcissists!
You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!
Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!
You know it well, I’m certain!
Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be.
They’re also incredibly convincing at it.
But don’t be fooled.
Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.
They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at.
Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you.
Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen.
This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them.
Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.
They Think They’re So Clever!
Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally.
They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.
They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you?
It is to so many people, sadly.
The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword.
Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all.
Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!
What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others.
Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.
Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.
You? Really? …
Yes! Really!
You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?
Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.
If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind.
You’re so not alone.
Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively.
The key?
Outsmart them!
Let’s get to the good bit…
How to Outsmart a Narcissist
#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!
Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!
The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.
Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back.
Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.
Composure is key, just like consistency.
#2 “Gray Rock”
The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist.
The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.
You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.
Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.
Bingo!
When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.
Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.
You’ve become so boring!
No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…
#3 Deflection – Master It!
Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable.
One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.
Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.
I’ll give you an example.
They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?)
Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?”
It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks.
#4 Information is Preparation!
Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else.
You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up.
Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points.
This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.
This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?
#5 Gather Your Support System
It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.
You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.
Encouragement is also heavily advised here!
Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to.
Let’s start unlock that potential!
