It’s happened. You met somebody you really think you click with and can see a future with.
There’s no feeling quite like it, only there’s a catch.
The key is to untangle that catch before this new person reels you in and keeps you around for a very long time.
Wait, what sort of person would do that?
Oh, that’s right. Narcissists. And here are 5 ways they expose themselves early on.
It’s not too late to run!
#1 They call all their exes crazy
The narcissist is with you right now, but they have a past, just the same as anybody else.
Their past consists of a group of exes who are now firmly getting on with their lives.
Those people had to tolerate an awful lot from the narcissist, just like you.
Suddenly, these people are crazy. I mean, think about it. It paints the perfect picture, doesn’t it?
It makes everybody else look like they’re insane, and the only person left being somewhat normal is the narcissist.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this classic narcissistic behavior? Isn’t it really telling that the only person without fault is the one person who is relaying their accounts to you? And you’ll never know the truth, but I will say this…
If there are problems with lots of people, the far more believable truth is the one common denominator in it all.
That happens to be the narcissist.
Exes of narcissists are usually damaged by the abuse, but can heal. What they are not, is crazy.
I think that really makes them look like the ones to avoid, and then of course, you’re left as the new flame trying to find all the ways in the world to not end up like them.
So you work even harder to please them.
Manipulative? Very much!
#2 They overreact at the smallest criticisms
While the narcissist is working hard to not expose themselves, you happen to see them overreact at the smallest of criticisms.
You try to push past it, but something is nibbling away at you. You feel that their reactions aren’t valid, even though they’ll make excuses such as being tired or stressed with work.
But no. What you’re seeing are red flags being waved directly at you, and choosing to ignore them will only lead to more nasty surprises and overreactions.
Narcissists can lose it if you:
- Comment that they’re late for something important
- Not listening to you
- Being a little short or curt in conversation to people at a dinner party you were both invited to
- Tell them that the tap they tried to fix is now leaking worse than before
These aren’t full-on criticisms, are they? More like observations you want to get across to them.
But it’s in how they react you will see a narcissist peek out from behind their mask of charm.
Imagine if the tables were turned, and you were the one who overreacted. As it stands, you aren’t likely to be like this currently, yet you’re probably gaslighted into thinking that you are.
An overreaction is essentially a way that somebody proves they’re incapable of meeting your comments with a fair, regulated response.
There’s nothing emotionally regulative about a narcissist’s character, so a huge tell tale sign you’ve exposed one is when you see their boiling point bubble over at the smallest of criticisms.
#3 They’re master projectors
Narcissists spend so much time perfecting their image. They will craft themselves to the max, both online and in person, to be the package they want to sell to the world.
And most people will buy what they’re selling because, why wouldn’t they believe it’s real?
We all take people for face value, so if you’re seeing a certain person, you’ve no reason to question them.
It’s time to really start questioning them the moment you notice how well they project.
Not just how well, but how often. They do something wrong, and the first thing that happens is you getting the blame.
What’s fair about that? The reason this is a way of narcissists exposing their true character is down to one thing: image.
They can’t have their hard-worked image ruined if they’re found to be troublemakers of some kind, can they? So it’s you. It’s your fault. You’re the reason. If not you, then somebody else.
Look out for this, and if you notice it, don’t walk, but run away from them!
#4 DARVO
Deny. Attack. Reverse Victim and Offender.
Welcome to DARVO! If you’ve never heard of it before, it is the top way a narcissist manipulates, and trust me, they do it all the time.
It’s the kind of action that once you’ve noticed it, you can’t unsee it. The good thing about that is you get to be a step ahead of their games, but let me tell you, you’ve got to be open to this level of exposition!
When you hold a narcissist accountable, or when they’ve done something wrong that you mention, prepare for DARVO.
They will deny they ever did anything wrong. They will attack you for even suggesting it by saying things like, “You’re just trying to ruin my reputation!”
Then comes the reverse victim and offender. “You’re just trying to bully me!” They’re the victim.
And it can confuse everybody witnessing it. It prevents you, the victim, from speaking out. It shifts attention away from the person who is truly suffering.
When a narcissist acts like this, they’re exposing their true, toxic self. It’s time to leave, no excuses.
#5 They exaggerate stories
Just when you think you’ve heard something amazing, the narcissist keeps going and going with their story.
It becomes more like the reading of a pantomime than what could actually be real. But this is what they do.
If there is an audience, the narcissist wants to impress and make that first impression one to remember.
They will exaggerate any story so that they look more important or famous or rich than they actually are.
It works because people get hooked on a great story, and for those who don’t suspect, they’re just enjoying a moment.
For you, something is amiss. This happens too often for it to be a coincidence.
You see them ham up every part of the story. They’re the savior, the hero, the one people go to, the one who knows the celebrities, the one who can make everybody laugh.
The narcissist is firmly in their element with wide eyed people looking back at them. And you are seeing a very strange level of self-exposition at work.
Sure, we all have tales to tell. But it’s how much the narcissist draws in the crowds that’s the most disturbing part.
I was there, it was amazing.
I saved the dog. If I hadn’t, it would have drowned for sure.
I met them and we’re practically friends now.
Whatever. Step away from people who need the spotlight this obsessively. It’s not healthy, and once you spot these stories, they will just end up making you more and more frustrate the more you hear them.
