You know how the story goes, and sadly, it isn’t unfamiliar.
The narcissist is in your life – and they are not making it pleasant.
What do you do?
Do you tell the world how unfairly you’re being treated?
Do you confront the narcissist?!
You begin to feel like you’re going crazy but…
Let’s backtrack.
The only crazy person is the narcissist themselves.
Let’s take a look at why they make you feel so cuckoo!
Narcissists and Projection
Have you ever felt like that narcissist was accusing you of something you absolutely didn’t do?
Maybe they are blaming you for their own flaws?
I hate to break it to you, but it’s what they do. Narcissists have such a covert way of projecting their insecurities and flaws onto people like you. Good people.
You feel like you’re the problem, when it’s really them.
I know that this is a classic narcissistic trait, and I want you to learn that too.
When the narcissist feels insecure, they will pass those feelings onto you. If that isn’t enough, they will accuse you of what they’re guilty of.
Oh, no… but they ‘Aren’t lying…”
It’s you who is the dishonest one.
This tactic does two things.
Number 1, it diverts attention from the narcissist’s faults and failures.
Number 2, it keeps you on the defensive.
It’s a twisted way of maintaining control, isn’t it? They’re hardly going to reflect either (not that they can do that, anyway!)
A narcissist will always project if they can, it’s the center of how you end up feeling crazy.
The Gaslight is Always On
Anything a narcissist does t o make you feel confused and like you’re going crazy, is a form of gaslighting.
If there’s ever been a time you’ve questioned your own memory, perception, or even sanity after a conversation with a narcissist – you’ve fallen victim. It’s their favorite tool, and they use it daily in small, subtle ways.
Gaslighting is complete and utter psychological manipulation. The truth is twisted, the lies are magnificently sold as truth, and you’re left doubting yourself more than ever.
Imagine this:
You clearly remember agreeing on dinner plans, but the narcissist insists that’s not the case.
Over time, this manipulation example is repeated, and it erodes your confidence in your memory. You then start to feel increasingly reliant on the narcissist’s version of events, because you are too uncertain in yours.
The gaslight is always on. It never dims.
Sadly, this constant state of confusion and self – doubt is right where the narcissist wants you, and they hope you stay there.
When you’re disoriented like this, it means one thing:
The narcissist is in control.
How You Go From Thriving to Surviving
You don’t have to always feel crazy. You can find yourself again.
I get it, though. One minute, you feel on top of the world. Next, you wonder what went wrong. It’s the worst feeling, which many of you will be familiar with.
Dealing with a narcissist can take you from thriving to just about surviving, often without you even being aware of that shift in existence. It happens gradually, like a slow leak in your gas tank, until you find yourself with nothing left.
Narcissists will erode your self-esteem without so much as any guilt. They start by showering you with affection and admiration so that you feel special. Once you’re hooked, that mask slips. The compliments turn to criticisms.
The support becomes sabotage.
Narcissists will undermine your achievements and dismiss how you feel. They will isolate you from your support system.
Before you know it, you’re walking on eggshells. You are sidestepping them through fear of igniting their rage.
What you’re doing, though, is constantly trying to please someone who will ultimately never be satisfied. It’s why so many people come to me with zero energy. Their confidence is shattered, and they feel like they are going crazy.
You aren’t.
You’re dealing with a narcissist.
Waking up to that will help you start to heal.
Ways a Narcissist Can Make You Feel Crazy
Believe me, if it’s possible, they’re going to do it.
You’re Never Good Enough
Narcissists have an uncanny ability to find fault with everything you do. No matter how hard you try, it’s never good enough. They’ll pick at every aspect of your life.
Your appearance.
How you act.
What you like.
Your job.
Your driving skills.
It’ll leave you feeling so low, but it is a relentless act of the narcissist to chip away at you. This constant criticism chips away at your self-confidence and will make you question your worth.
You’ll feel like you’re going stir crazy, as nothing is good enough.
Boo-Hoo For Them…
Narcissists are experts at flipping whatever script there is. If you try to address their behavior, they will twist the situation to make themselves the victim.
Suddenly, it’s you who is being unreasonable. You’re so unkind! You might even be accused of being abusive yourself!
This cleverly thought-out role reversal can leave you doubting your opinions and feeling guilty for standing up for yourself.
Heaven forbid you do that!
They Will Pit You Against Somebody Else
In the narcissist’s playbook, triangulation is top of the list.
They will bring a third person into the game, just to add to conflict. This can easily be a friend, or somebody from your family.
If they unfavorably talk about you to others or bring them into your disputes, they create confusion in you – and even competition. This is a tactic known to keep you off balance.
It’s all done purposely, with an aim to make you feel crazy.
Hot and Cold
Hot.
Cold.
Hot.
Cold.
Where is the in-between?!
This change in temperature works through the giving and withdrawing of affection. One moment you’re showered with praise and attention, the next it’s as if you don’t exist.
This is a real emotional rollercoaster that keeps you in a high state of anxiety. It’s unpredictable and designed to make you feel crazy and unsettled.
“This is All YOUR Fault!”
Whenever a narcissist makes a mistake or something goes terribly wrong, you can bet one thing – it will be your fault.
They have such a toxic ability to twist anything and everything so that you’re always the one to blame.
They love to be able to blame you – much to your understandable frustration.
This constant passing over of responsibility keeps you on edge, and leaves you send – guessing everything.
Your sanity is not safe at this point.
Remember: This is Not You!
You aren’t losing your mind. You’re not crazy.
You’re dealing with a narcissist.
There’s so much you can do from this point onward, but one thing is for sure:
You can now stop thinking this is you!
