How do narcissists end relationships? While the first and second stages of a narcissistic relationship<\/a> play out in a familiar way, the third and final one, the breakup, isn\u2019t quite so textbook. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes the narcissist will drag things out, scraping together every last crumb of Narcissistic supply that they can, but others make a clean break as if you never even mattered. As with all relationships involving narcissists, it\u2019s all about what they need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Table of Contents:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists follow a familiar pattern with their relationships; usually, it\u2019s a three-step process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n the narcissist is completely in love with you, wanting you and the rest of the world to know about it. This is when you\u2019ll be showered in gifts and compliments(Love Bombing), often being told that the narcissist has \u201cnever felt like this before\u201d. This initial phase is what the narcissist\u2019s partner is chasing for the rest of the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n When the love bombing stops, the devalue phase<\/strong> starts. A complete 180 from the initiation phase, the devaluing period is filled with criticism, gaslighting<\/a>, and withdrawal of intimacy and affection. The narcissist is making you question where you went wrong and why they\u2019re not treating you the way they used to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n following a long period of devaluation, the narcissist has no further use for you, casting you aside as if they never loved you in the first place. It\u2019s true, the narcissist never really feels love or affection for their partner, just for how their partner makes them feel. Once that feeling wears off, it\u2019s time to move on to the next possible partner. <\/p>\n\n\n So how do narcissists end relationships? If the narcissist is the one ending a relationship<\/strong>, it\u2019ll more than likely be a sudden and perhaps unexpected affair. Unfortunately, it rarely involves a mature conversation, one that would provide closure and a bittersweet ending. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ll more than likely encounter bizarre events that make you question your worth as a partner and your sanity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Plenty of non-narcissistic people start affairs at the end of a relationship, but a narcissist will gladly reveal it to you. Narcissists consider themselves quite the catch and will try to make you jealous by flaunting how attractive other people find them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists will openly flirt<\/strong> with others and then tell you it never happened or that your jealousy is clouding your judgment. This type of gaslighting is also a classic sign of being in a relationship with a narcissist<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestion:<\/strong> How to Make a Narcissist Come Crawling Back?<\/a><\/mark><\/p>\n\n\n\n Slightly different from the first option, the narcissist will openly flirt and entertain an affair, but without the courtesy of breaking up with you. They\u2019re planting the seed for a backup relationship should anything go wrong with you, but they\u2019re also letting you know what they\u2019re capable of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestion:<\/strong> Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists love conflict when they\u2019re in control of it. At the end of a relationship when they\u2019ve grown tired, they\u2019ll find the most dramatic way to end it. Often they\u2019ll use the fight to force your hand into breaking up with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Since you\u2019re seen as the aggressor, they have no qualms about exacting revenge on you (trashing you to mutual friends, keeping your personal property, or running up a bill under your name). All is fair since it looks like you broke their heart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Similar to the above fight, this version makes the narcissist out to be the victim in the relationship<\/strong>. They will tell you how much love and effort they put into the partnership, without getting anything back. While this is patently untrue, narcissists groom their victims<\/a> to question what they could have done wrong at every turn. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For a narcissist, just because you broke up doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s over. Narcissists sometimes stalk their ex-partner to check on how their new life compares to life with the narcissist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Most of the time this behavior doesn\u2019t lead to violence or even confrontation. The intent is to intimidate you and make you feel afraid of moving on from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists have a nasty habit of returning to their previous relationships<\/strong>, even when it seems like they\u2019ve burned that bridge with a fight or affair. This cycle of breakup and makeup is referred to as hoovering<\/a> – one they\u2019ve got you, they can suck you back in at will. Narcissists hoover to boost their ego, getting a massive self-esteem boost whenever they persuade you to take them back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n If you leave things up to the narcissist, they\u2019ll probably hoover for quite a while. It\u2019s hard for them to give up a source of supply until they\u2019ve got another one fully committed. A better option is to take action and cut the narcissist out of your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you don\u2019t answer their calls and you avoid them in-person, they\u2019ll move onto their next source of supply. It\u2019s not a comforting fact, knowing that your ex will treat their partner the same way they treated you. But at the very least, they\u2019re out of your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The grandiose style is typically what we think of when imagining a narcissist: big personality, big ego, and an unending supply of self-esteem. Vulnerable narcissists<\/a> are much more introverted, neurotic, and contemplative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A vulnerable narcissist is more likely to want you to break up with them. They\u2019re used to feeling sorry for themselves and aren\u2019t fans of confrontation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Grandiose narcissists<\/a> love the spotlight and are happy to jump in for a good fight. They\u2019re also more likely to flirt with potential partners in your presence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Knowing which type of narcissists you\u2019re with can help to understand their actions and predict where they\u2019ll go next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ending a relationship with a narcissist is almost the complete opposite compared to when they\u2019re the one breaking it off. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If they see it coming, they\u2019ll do everything in their power to demean you, and if it\u2019s a surprise, they\u2019ll almost certainly lash out in anger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are a few techniques though that can help to smooth out the last stage of a narcissistic relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists turn on the charm or wrench sympathy from your heart as you break up with them. At the end of a relationship, they want to end it on their terms and will do anything to get back in your good graces. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Know that it won\u2019t last – they just don\u2019t like the feeling of being dumped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you tell a narcissist you\u2019re thinking about leaving them, there\u2019s a good chance they\u2019ll do something to ensure you stick around. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This might be through threats, loving gestures, or pleading, but none of it is actually sincere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestion:<\/strong> How Dating a Narcissist Changes You<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists are experts at gaslighting; they can convince you of an alternative past where everything was your fault and they have been a perfect partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Keep a diary of everything you\u2019ve endured and turn to it whenever you\u2019re unsure of your emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists prey on the vulnerable and attempt to isolate their partners. This leaves the victim feeling desperate for love and validation from their abuser. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t be afraid to reach out to people that you\u2019ve been cut off from during the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether it\u2019s because you\u2019re genuinely concerned or because you want to know if they\u2019ve moved on, checking up on your narcissistic partner is a bad idea. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists can flit in and out of people\u2019s lives with ease, they just need another source of new supply to hold onto. <\/p>\n\n\n\n To prevent yourself from falling back into a relationship with the narcissist, it\u2019s better to go no-contact after the break up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists typically end their relationships once they get bored<\/a> with a partner. They\u2019re much more concerned with the chase and later the conquest that comes with controlling a partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once they have that, the relationship doesn\u2019t provide them with anything, since a narcissist is almost wholly incapable of forming an intimate relationship<\/strong> based on trust, love, and mutual respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As such, you\u2019re unlikely to find a narcissist in a relationship for more than six months, and almost never more than a couple of years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s always a new supply<\/strong> of partners who will shower them in admiration without requiring the intimacy that a long-term relationship would.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perhaps you\u2019ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or are hoping to avoid one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe you\u2019ve wondered what could have drawn them in, and at least for a brief moment, made them love you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These are a few of the traits narcissists value<\/strong> most in their partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists are nothing if not controlling. They have their own rules for life and the best partner is someone that will follow along and stay out of their way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While a narcissist expects you to be on time for every date, they expect forgiveness when they\u2019re an hour late.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They love to be reminded of their positive traits and have their negative ones overlooked. The worst partner to them is someone that\u2019s critical. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A narcissist will never take responsibility<\/a> when they\u2019ve done something wrong. Thus they appreciate a partner who is conscientious, cleaning up their mistakes and shouldering the blame whenever possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists have no time for other people\u2019s wants and needs. The whole reason for entering a relationship is to reap the benefits of an adoring partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If their partner has needs of their own, they\u2019ll be called selfish and demanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s much more difficult to keep a partner if they can find happiness outside of this toxic relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists look for people to control, divvying out love and affection when it\u2019s beneficial to them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Given that narcissists are prone to ignoring or mistreating their partners, it\u2019s only logical that they would end up alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Though they\u2019re able to make friends quickly and attract fresh romantic partners, the charm of a narcissist wears off<\/a> within a few months. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Most find that they can\u2019t sustain a friendship or long-term relationship; usually, they don\u2019t particularly want to either. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends of Narcissists<\/a> <\/a>and partners serve a purpose – providing an initial burst of narcissistic supply,<\/strong> but in return, those same people ask for intimacy, vulnerability, and compassion that the narcissist isn\u2019t capable of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So to those who have endured a relationship with a narcissist, know that they get their comeuppance in the form of loneliness – an emotion they do not tolerate well<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Being left by a narcissist is never a pleasant experience. Sometimes theres name calling, other times it\u2019s an abrupt end with no explanation. Either way, the non-narcissist always walks away feeling worse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve just realized that you might be in a toxic relationship, exit as quickly as possible without bruising the narcissist’s ego enough to retaliate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve been in a relationship with one for a long time, it\u2019s best to enlist a group of support first, as the narcissist\u2019s first move will be to separate you from friends and family. Then calmly extricate yourself from the relationship as quickly as possible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n It starts with a whirlwind romance – flowers every day, a level of intimacy that feels like you\u2019re soulmates, and a partner that seems to worship the ground you walk on. The early stages of dating a narcissist are intoxicating, but in a few weeks or a few months, the mask begins to slip and … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4852,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}What Does a Narcissistic Relationship Look Like?<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"What](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/What-Does-a-Narcissistic-Relationship-Look-Like.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nInitiation Phase<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Devalue Phase<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Discard Phase<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
![\"how](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/How-Do-Narcissists-End-Relationships-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n5 Dirty Ways How Narcissists End Relationships<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"5](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/How-Does-a-Relationship-with-a-Narcissist-End.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n1. Find a New Partner, New Supply:<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Moves On to Someone Else, With You in Tow<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Start a Fight To End a Relationship<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Blames It On You<\/em>:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Stalking<\/em>:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How Do You Know if the Relationship is Over?<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"How](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/How-Do-You-Know-if-the-Relationship-is-Over.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nBreakup Styles of Vulnerable Narcissists vs. Grandiose<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"Breakup](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Breakup-Styles-of-Vulnerable-Narcissists-vs.-Grandiose.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nHow to End a Relationship With a Narcissist?<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"How](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/How-to-End-a-Relationship-With-a-Narcissist.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n1. Don\u2019t give second chances<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Don\u2019t drag it out<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Write down their transgressions<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Strengthen ties with friends and family<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. Don\u2019t check up on them<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How Long Do Narcissistic Relationships Last?<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"How](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/How-Long-Do-Narcissistic-Relationships-Last.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nWhat Does a Narcissist Want in a Relationship?<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"What](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/What-Does-a-Narcissist-Want-in-a-Relationship.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n#1 They Want Someone who\u2019s accommodating<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
#2 They Want Someone with a favorable view of them<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
#3 They Want Someone who will take the blame<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
#4 They Want Someone who puts them first<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
#5 They WantSomeone who looks to them for happiness<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Do Narcissists End Up Alone?<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"Do](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Do-Narcissists-End-Up-Alone.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nAvoiding a Painful Breakup With The Narcissist<\/h2>\n\n\n
![\"Avoiding](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/Avoiding-a-Painful-Breakup-With-The-Narcissist.jpg\")
<\/a>![\"\"](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/How-Does-a-Relationship-with-a-Narcissist-End_-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"