Table of Contents:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists have an inflated sense of ego and prioritize their needs and desires above anyone else\u2019s. They consistently perceive themselves as important, superior, and entitled to have what they want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Subsequently, they often have little disregard for emotion, and they can become quickly reactive and even hostile when things don\u2019t go their way. Let\u2019s review some of the other telltale signs of narcissistic mothers<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n Rather than relate to their children as independent individuals, narcissists see them as mere extensions of themselves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Therefore, you are more likely to be punished rather than celebrated if you have unique thoughts or needs.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissistic mothers may live vicariously through you by forcing certain ideals or expectations onto you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, they might make you dance if they loved to dance. They might dress you up in girly outfits even if you identify as more tomboyish.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n Because narcissists want others to admire them, they often love showing off their child\u2019s attributes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Even though they might be critical of you at home, they tend to relish in other people\u2019s approval of your skills, appearance, or accomplishments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many narcissists will turn to social media to brag about their children. However, this approach isn\u2019t about praising you- it\u2019s about showcasing their <\/em>excellent job in raising you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why are you so sad? There\u2019s nothing to be upset about right now!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n You shouldn\u2019t get angry over that.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t see what the big deal is. You\u2019ll get over it.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n Narcissists are not mindful<\/a> of other people\u2019s thoughts or feelings. Instead, they only reflect on themselves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They often perceive other people as objects, accessories, or competitors- not as whole people with varying needs and emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a result, they cannot validate you for your experiences. Instead, they often shame you for thinking or feeling differently from them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can\u2019t move there. It\u2019s too far away!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I can\u2019t live without you. I need you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I sacrificed so much for you when you were a child. The least you can do is give me a little money now. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n Many narcissists want their children to take care of them emotionally, financially, or physically for the rest of their lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a result, they may attempt to manipulate you into making unrealistic sacrifices to meet their needs.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some narcissistic mothers are so self-absorbed with their own lives that they have no emotional capacity for authentic child-raising. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of taking care of you, they may have devoted most of their time to their career, friends, hobbies, or intimate relationships.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissistic parents sometimes engage in smear campaigns<\/a> when their children fail to meet their expectations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Smear campaigns are intentional plans to humiliate you in attempt to compromise your reputation. If your mother smears you, she might:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists frequently gaslight<\/a> their victims to maintain power and control over them. Gaslighting can be challenging to detect, making you question your reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hate is a far-fetched, misguided term, and narcissists don\u2019t usually hate their children. Instead, they often view them as either objects to control or competitors to beat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, narcissistic love is conditional, meaning it has strings attached. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you act favorably, they tend to internalize your positive behavior as a tribute to their successful parenting. They bask in your success and often take responsibility for it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n The opposite effect is also true. When you disrespect or embarrass them, there are enormous consequences. They may become rageful, possessive, or completely dismissive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Each child internalizes their childhood experiences differently. That said, there are several traits daughters may develop due to her relationship with her mother. <\/p>\n\n\n\n daughters of a narcissistic parent are not allowed to have personal boundaries. Their parents determine everything, and the rules often change without notice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n As a result, they struggle to identify or implement boundaries in their adult life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For one, they may not even recognize the benefits of having limits. They may be so accustomed to catering to other people that they don\u2019t understand the importance of honoring their own needs.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Moreover, a lack of boundaries also tends to come from an inherent desire to appease others through people-pleasing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Daughters spend so much time trying to satisfy their narcissistic mother. It often feels easier to just \u201cgive in\u201d than try to compromise or stand up for yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Healthy parents validate and love their children unconditionally. Healthy parents also know that mistakes are an inherent part of childhood. Even if their child misbehaves, they discipline the behavior without shaming them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissistic parents rarely- if ever- validate their children. Instead, they attempt to control, change, or suppress behavior that doesn\u2019t fit within their belief system. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead of exploring their own identity, their children grow up trying to cater to their parents.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n The daughters of a narcissistic mother have little say in anything <\/em>during childhood. They\u2019re used to someone making all the executive decisions for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As an adult, you may struggle even to know what you want. You may have been criticized for having your own opinion or needs, so you learned to disregard your needs automatically. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When you need to make a choice, you may require excess approval from others before proceeding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Children in narcissistic homes are often gifted in interpreting body language and other nonverbal communication. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After all, they had to grow up trying to understand their mother\u2019s behavior and attune to her <\/em>needs- rather than the other way around.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n As an adult, you may be overly prepared to anticipate danger. This can affect your interpersonal relationships. Trusting other people is often hard because you fear being manipulated or hurt.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some children of narcissists become narcissistic themselves. Narcissistic mothers tend to be overly preoccupied with external accomplishments and status. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They lack empathy and cannot attune to their child\u2019s inherent needs. While many daughters struggle with low self-esteem due to their upbringing, others move in the opposite direction.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Their narcissism almost acts as an act of rebellion- after an entire childhood spent submitting to their mothers, they become narcissistic as a way of covertly competing with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As mentioned, many daughters struggle with issues related to low self-esteem, boundaries, and trust problems. Any of these variables can affect dating and intimacy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some daughters subconsciously seek partners similar to their mothers. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They may find a partner who acts domineering and critical. Even though they may resent this person, it feels familiar and allows them to safely recreate what they know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Other daughters take the opposite approach. They may subconsciously seek submissive, weaker partners. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Therefore, they <\/em>tend to assume a more narcissistic position. This dynamic often responds to the daughter\u2019s need for power and control. If you spent your whole life feeling oppressed, it makes sense that you want a dynamic change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The narcissistic mother often has a front-seat ticket to her adult daughter\u2019s life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n She may meddle in the relationship, try to pit both partners against each other, and seek endless attention. If you two have children together, she will often attempt to control how you raise your child.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, some women keep their guards up and avoid dating altogether. They may feel so traumatized by their childhood relationships that they never want to trust anyone else again.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists thrive on power and control. They perceive anything that could potentially jeopardize power and control as an inherent threat. Therefore, when people give you attention, your mother might react by:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Reading Suggestions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n Your mother can be jealous of anything- your appearance, career, accomplishments, relationships (particularly if you have a good one with your father). Most jealousy stems from the conflicting message, make me look good, but don\u2019t do better than me. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n While growing up, this jealousy can feel incredibly confusing. Children naturally want to please their parents- when they\u2019re small, they tend to idolize them as god-like figures. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They don\u2019t feel like they are on equal footing as their mothers, so children can\u2019t understand why their mothers want to compete.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because low self-esteem is so synonymous with daughters of narcissistic mothers, there\u2019s a good possibility you don\u2019t see your own worth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Therefore, you probably can\u2019t imagine your mother would actually be jealous of you. Instead, you may just internalize that you aren\u2019t good enough.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Acknowledging your Narcissistic Mother<\/a> can be eye-opening, especially if you grew up unable to recognize why your relationship felt so troubled. <\/p>\n\n\n\n At the same time, this realization can be upsetting and discouraging. You may feel angry or sad when you reflect on your childhood. You might also feel unsure about how to move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A narcissistic personality disorder<\/strong> is a mental illness. The symptoms are chronic and pervasive. Your mother isn\u2019t choosing <\/em>to act this way- experts agree that genetics and neurobiology likely play a role in narcissistic traits. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Awareness is an essential part of your recovery process. You should educate yourself on the signs and symptoms of narcissism and consider how your mother\u2019s personality impacted you- both in childhood and in adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists don\u2019t readily change their ways. They do what they need to do to meet their needs- even if their behavior may seem downright appalling to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s why boundaries are so critical. You need to consider your physical, emotional, and financial boundaries when it comes to your mother. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Suggested Reading<\/strong>: Low Contact With Your Narcissistic Mother<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, let\u2019s say your mother criticizes your house every time she comes over. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a boundary, you may require that she leave if she engages in this behavior again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Or, let\u2019s say your mother bombards you with text messages when she doesn\u2019t hear from you after a few days. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As a boundary, you might respond with a simple, I\u2019m busy right now, but I will call you this weekend, <\/em>and leave it at that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember that your boundaries are only as powerful as your ability to implement them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you don\u2019t reinforce what you say, you send incongruent messages about your intentions. As a result, your mother will likely continue to manipulate you.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n If your mother disrespects you and your boundaries, you may need to step away from the relationship altogether. Of course, this is a personal decision, and you should consider this option carefully.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Taking the no-contact approach<\/a> means avoiding any interaction or engagement with your mother. <\/p>\n\n\n\n No contact<\/b> means you\u2019re saying no more Narcissistic Abuse, no more enabling, and no more toxic energy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This option is always available to you and might be necessary to preserve your mental health.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are You Interested in The Following Topics?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n These daughters often spend their childhoods feeling confused, alone, and frightened. As they grow up, their feelings may become even more intensified. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3392,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[598],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3295"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19304,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3295\/revisions\/19304"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3392"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}What Are the Signs of a Narcissistic Mother?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Living Vicariously Through You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"How](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/How-Do-Narcissist-Mothers-Affect-Their-Daughters_.jpg\")
<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nSuperficial Praising<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Lack of Empathy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Excess Dependency<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Neglect<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Smearing You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Consistent Gaslighting<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Do Narcissistic Mothers Hate Their Daughters?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What Are Some Common Traits of Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Lack of Boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Low Self-Esteem<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Indecisiveness <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Caution or Paranoia<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Narcissism<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Why Do They Have Trouble With Male Relationships?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Why Are Narcissistic Mothers So Jealous of Their Daughters?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Healing From a Narcissistic Mother<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Educate Yourself on Narcissism <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Establish Appropriate Boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Consider a No-Contact Approach <\/h3>\n\n\n\n