{"id":21398,"date":"2024-06-17T11:13:23","date_gmt":"2024-06-17T10:13:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/?p=21398"},"modified":"2024-06-17T11:13:41","modified_gmt":"2024-06-17T10:13:41","slug":"why-do-narcissists-love-bomb-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/why-do-narcissists-love-bomb-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do Narcissists Love-Bomb You?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Wow, I think I have met the world\u2019s most wonderful, talented, amazing, charming, loving person! I am sooo lucky!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh no. You fell for it, didn\u2019t you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The wit. The smile. The aura. The allure. It was all there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The narcissist came along, and swept you off your feet and now you barely remember your own name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This stage of any narcissistic relationship is known as the love-bombing phase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it were any other bomb – you\u2019d run a mile!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People fall for it because they want one thing – to feel loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But why exactly does <\/em>the narcissist love-bomb?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Narcissist and Their Cycle of Abuse<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

The phrase, \u2018what goes around, comes around,\u2019 can also be placed on the narcissist and how they create a cycle of abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No sooner are you feeling happy and loved, you are being forgotten. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As soon as you feel unwanted and discarded, they will return and start over again. Narcissists cannot maintain a happy, consistent relationship. They thrive on creating drama and watching it unfold before their very eyes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They do this because they themselves have never been given a consistent relationship with anybody important to them. Using what they know and are drawn to, they will always <\/em>prefer the highest and lowest of lows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But no matter where they are on that scale – nothing <\/em>will be their fault. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The cycle of abuse keeps their victims hooked. It creates pockets of moments where even the smallest gesture of warmth, and I mean the absolute minimum<\/em>, will be gobbled up and accepted because it\u2019s all they have been offered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you were starving and only offered one french fry, you\u2019d feast on it as if it were a five course meal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Cycle: Reminder<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember how it goes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Idealization – love-bombing, flattery, compliments, grand gestures, fake promises<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Devaluation -Ridicule, criticism, humiliation, mockery, insults<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Discard – Silent treatment, gaslighting, rejection, neglect<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hoovering – Fake apologies, more fake promises, lavish gifts<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wait a Second – Go Back to Love-Bombing!<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ah yes, Love-bombing. It\u2019s a contradictory term, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bombs are destructive. They displace people, start, encourage, and continue the war, devastate environments, and displace people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So why would the word \u2018love\u2019 come before it??<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To prove that actually, love-bombing is a dangerous act of manipulation created and mastered by narcissists, designed especially for victims to suffer in the end. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Narcissist and The Fakery<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Behind all love-bombing, lies a fake person intent on giving you what you want so you become emotionally attached to them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A narcissist can\u2019t go into a new relationship with the same vulnerabilities and emotions as the person they\u2019re sharing their time with. That doesn\u2019t mean those vulnerabilities don\u2019t exist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vulnerabilities don\u2019t sit well with narcissists, so they hide them and replace them with all the traits that eventually become toxic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6 Reasons Why Narcissists Love-Bomb<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s get down to the task at hand and look at the direct reasons a narcissist will use love-bombing on you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To Lure You In<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Initially, the narcissist needs a good reason for you to fall for them. They aren\u2019t charismatic by nature, so they tend to fake it until they make it. LOve-bombing a metaphorical way of fishing. They will hook the bait, cast the line and wait for you to nibble. As soon as you do, they will reel you in and keep you close to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Out of water, you are theirs to control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To Keep You Hooked<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

What a great catch you were! You Shower them with love without getting any back. You cook for them even though it\u2019s never quite right. You work and contribute even though you could earn and do more (do these sound familiar to you?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the love bombing, the devaluation will make you feel all of the above, yet the love bombing is so strong that you\u2019ll tolerate it all and more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They landed on their feet with you! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you\u2019re hooked, they don\u2019t want you to get away. If they can feel you slipping away, they will pull you back in with more fake love, and more fake promises. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To Create Positive Memories<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Anything you do together that\u2019s good, will be another notch on your positive memory list. The narcissist will invite you to a huge concert you\u2019ve always wanted to attend. They will get those VIP seats. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want those shoes, the narcissist will get them in three different colors. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to go away for the weekend, just say the word. You don\u2019t need to see your friends or family when you can spend so much time making memories with the narcissist.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Red flag alert).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Positive memories will make you feel loved and wanted – and most importantly very <\/em>special. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To Refer to at Later Dates<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Those positive moments are important to create because when the proverbial mess hits the fan, you are going to be reminded of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the wonderful things we did.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That beautiful vacation.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the promises I made!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How I feel about you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Positive memories come from love-bombing, and that\u2019s exactly what creates and forms a very strong attachment between the narcissist and their victim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To Create a Persona<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s just as important for the narcissist to impress other people when love-bombing than it is to impress you. You\u2019ll find them tagging themselves on social media whenever they do something romantic with their new love interest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You will also hear them at the bar telling anyone who listens how romantic they are and how thoughtful a partner they can be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every time they love bomb, it acts as a stamp in their book of good deeds. They waved the book around, showing everybody they were a wonderful person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is where the next point is the most important\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. To Prepare You For What\u2019s Next<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    What comes after <\/em>the love bombing is the shocking and saddening, not to mention painful, act of devaluation. It will feel as though they have totally changed personalities. The loving, charming person you once knew has faded into oblivion and left you with somebody cold, callous, and calculating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Desperate to find that person again, you\u2019ll do anything to get back what you had. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    An extended period of time will be spent trying to do that before you finally feel it\u2019s all over. That\u2019s when they will swoop back in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If the love-bombing hadn\u2019t initially happened, you\u2019d not be inclined to stick around for a fraction of that time waiting for the love to return. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And that <\/em>is why the narcissistic cycle of abuse exists. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Seeing Through The \u2018Love\u2019….<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    If you are experiencing this cycle of absolute devastation, it\u2019s  important to equip yourself with the knowledge and wisdom of what love-bombing is. As glorious as it feels, it isn\u2019t real. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Wow, I think I have met the world\u2019s most wonderful, talented, amazing, charming, loving person! I am sooo lucky! Oh no. You fell for it, didn\u2019t you? The wit. The smile. The aura. The allure. It was all there. The narcissist came along, and swept you off your feet and now you barely remember your … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21466,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21398"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21398"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21468,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21398\/revisions\/21468"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}