\u2026Yet you don\u2019t want the drama. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Is that even possible<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, yes and no. You can shut them down without drama, but not always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I want to offer you ways to do so that promotes peace (after all \u2026 you deserve it for what you tolerate!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists. Don\u2019t. Listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Beyond the fact that they don\u2019t <\/em>listen, they can\u2019t <\/em>listen. They don\u2019t know how to. But also just to clarify, they don\u2019t want to hear what you say. It\u2019s either going to be wrong or boring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When a narcissist is physically told to listen to you, to them, you\u2019ve stepped way out of line. You can be considered crass, abrupt, or even petulant if you dare assert yourself this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In truth – it will <\/em>shut the narcissist down, because they simply won\u2019t know what to do with themselves when you take charge this way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The beauty here is, the longer the narcissist plays up and protests, the longer they will have to wait. Wanting to converse with you in this kind of heated moment usually means they have a lot <\/em>to say about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cutting them off in their tracks means they get nothing from you. No rise, no supply, nothing to fight against. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And guess what? You\u2019re in control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018No\u2019 to a narcissist is one of the worst things they like to hear. You\u2019re cutting them from something they want. If it\u2019s you answering back, they won\u2019t get it. They’re left with nothing if it\u2019s wanting you to do something you don\u2019t want to do.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists are entitled – they expect everything they want handed to them on a plate. It\u2019s an almost automatic assumption that this will be granted, and when it isn\u2019t, they\u2019re left stumped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shutting a narcissist down with no means you get to end something on your terms, not theirs. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Watching a narcissist cuss and criticize you, or mock you for something can lead to a great deal of sadness and frustration. You caught them in a certain mood, and you\u2019re the one having to tolerate it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n What if you dug a little deeper to really find out what\u2019s going on? Stopping the narcissist from the game they\u2019re trying to play by asking them to cut to the chase will shock them. With shock usually comes the inability to know what to say or do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They know you have them figured out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Knowing your worth reminds the narcissist that they can\u2019t determine it. It\u2019s a power we all have, but rarely find the confidence and self-worth to exhibit. Narcissistic people sometimes run others down to the point where they can barely stand. If you were to speak in alignment with what you deserve – you\u2019ll certainly shut them down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I <\/em>would know that you aren\u2019t trying to sound better than the narcissist, but they <\/em>won\u2019t. They will assume you are trying to annoy them, but let\u2019s think logically. You\u2019re simply changing how you respond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The narcissist will be used to speaking to you how they want, regardless of how it makes you feel. This <\/em>way, you get to remind them that you won\u2019t put up with it any more. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists love <\/em>to go over and over the same thing, because they know how effective it is to run you down with repetitive behavior. The enjoyment they get from watching your frustration grow is second to none – but you can stop this, and shut them down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Refusing to repeat what has already been said is good. It leaves room for new discussion that the narcissist may not be keen to have. That\u2019s the whole point!<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a real boundary to apply when you say you\u2019re unwilling to continue engaging. It tells the narcissist you think the conversation is a waste of time and completely rips them of all power.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Even though they won\u2019t like to hear it, reminding them you know how you feel will do a few things.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n First, it\u2019ll send them the clear message that you will not be a victim<\/em> to gaslighting. They can try and shift your reality to suit them – but it won\u2019t work – and you will let them know it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The second is that you <\/em>will be reminded that you feel how you feel. Confirming it out loud will give your feelings strength – something the narcissist hates<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Healthy people know that differing opinions are good. If we all thought and acted the same, the world would be a dull place <\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists, however, like you to dance to the beat of their drum. They want you to change your mind or agree with them because by agreeing, you\u2019re complying.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n By reminding the narcissist you don\u2019t share something, it reiterates that you are your own person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Exactly as you should be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Uh-huh is really golden to use when communicating with a narcissist. You\u2019re there, you\u2019re in the room, you\u2019re responding – but minimally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists don\u2019t like minimalism – they want loud. They want tears. They want drama. They want to gossip. They want to lap it all <\/em>up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019es nothing to lap up with a \u2018uh-huh.\u2019 By default, you\u2019re completely shutting them down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Say something!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Um, how about no?<\/p>\n\n\n\n The silent treatment, when used by the narcissist, is extremely cruel, don\u2019t get me wrong. But if you <\/em>are the person being silent, it\u2019s for different reasons. Let them moan and groan and whinge about you or their day. You <\/em>carry on doing what you\u2019re doing. If need be, a little nod to let them know you aren\u2019t totally trying to antagonize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists want you to be on their side, agree with them, tell them they\u2019re right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They also love <\/em>it when you answer back, so they can put you in your place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n By staying quiet, you\u2019re giving them no supply at all. Without it, they cannot function properly, so you end up leaving them high and dry\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026And one hundred percent shut down. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Shutting a narcissist down seems like fun, right? Imagine that one overly inflated person who has got under your skin for so long now. You want to wipe the smile off their self-centered faces\u2026 \u2026Yet you don\u2019t want the drama. Is that even possible? Well, yes and no. You can shut them down without drama, … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21153,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21079"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21079"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21079\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21155,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21079\/revisions\/21155"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/What-to-Say-to-a-Narcissist-to-Shut-Them-Down-1.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\u201cI Need You to Listen to Me\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe Will Talk When You\u2019ve Calmed Down\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat Exactly is it You Want Me to Know?\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI Don\u2019t Deserve to be Spoken to This Way\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI Have Said What I Want to Say, and I am Not Longer Willing to Discuss This.\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI Know How I Feel\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am Aware We Don\u2019t Share the Same Opinion\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUh-Huh\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\u2026Nothing at All\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n