![\"\"](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/03\/Copy-of-NEW-POSTS-3.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\nKeeping You Hooked<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nAs narcissists are so highly skilled at lying – they will do what it takes to keep you hooked. Keeping you hooked means you cannot swim to safer shores where you feel more appreciated and loved. Instead, they\u2019ve got you right where they want you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They will tell you everything you want to hear when they sense you pulling away. They want you near so you can keep telling them how wonderful they are and how you\u2019ll do anything for them.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember – you aren\u2019t the only person they lie to. They also lie to themselves daily when they convince themselves they aren\u2019t the problem. This is a huge cover-up for the truth- something you should know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Money Over Time<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nThe classic sign that you are enmeshed with a narcissist is the money that comes your way. Whether they treat you to a fancy dinner, take you on a beautiful vacation or offer you money to spend how you please – they use it to replace love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Love for them simply doesn\u2019t exist <\/em>as it does for everybody else. They can\u2019t give time because they don\u2019t want to. They much prefer to say, \u201cHere\u2019s something I can hold against you later, and you will take it because it is the most tempting currency I have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\nTo the narcissist – money is <\/em>love. Reality is fake, and fake is reality – they don\u2019t know the difference, and they don\u2019t expect you to either. <\/p>\n\n\n\nReeling Excuse After Excuse<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n\u201cI had such a hard time growing up.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cI do this because of my past.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cI am who I am, and I\u2019ll never be any different.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nHeard it all before? I bet you have. It\u2019s the same spiel from all narcissists because they all operate in the same way. Once you spot one – you can spot them all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Their excuses come from what they want you to think is a painful place. They use them to do, say or act however they want with you, but act as though it\u2019s all coming from a place of love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If a narcissist is feeding you excuses, they are doing it to convince you that they aren\u2019t the problem and over time, you will start to use those same excuses to defend them when you are being questioned. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is a long-standing tactic used, but one that helps manipulate you and keep you the person who never sees them for who they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This isn\u2019t love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Limitless Lies<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nLies are used to get people out of trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nAccompanied by the innocent shrug – who isn\u2019t to believe that if it is dished up with a side of slight smiles and pitiful eyebrow furrowing? The narcissist knows exactly what they\u2019re doing, and how to do it most effectively. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They will lie, and if they are really <\/em>clever, they might actually remember <\/em>some of their lies. However – when it comes to love – no lie is off bounds. This is to glaze over their mistakes or ill timed comments to make you think they love you because they don\u2019t want to lose what you offer them.<\/p>\n\n\n\nTheir Past is \u201cWhat Led Them To You\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n\u201cNobody has ever accepted or loved me the way you do.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cYou understand me like nobody else.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cOnly you get me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cI can\u2019t lose you, not after everything I\u2019ve been through.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cThis connection is amazing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cI\u2019ve never felt this way before.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cYou\u2019re my soulmate.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThe list goes on and on – but the words all boil down to one motive:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The narcissist refuses to let you go, and will use their past to pretend, like some huge, grandiose love story, that you were destined to meet and understand each other as deeply as you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is fictitious, and a story they love to tell to garner sympathy and pity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If they feel pitied, they have successfully placed themselves in the victim role. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Trauma Bond<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nNarcissists are experts at creating trauma bonds. This is because trauma bonds are inconsistent, and narcissists thrive on inconsistency. They play up to it like it was a fuel to their minds, and as a result, you can suffer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In a healthy relationship, bonding happens over time, with honesty and empathy intertwined. Trauma bonds stem from unhealthy dynamics – usually involving an abuser and a person abused – but it will appear as love to those who seek any form of attachment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Attachment isn\u2019t love, and the idea of \u201cbeing unable to live without somebody\u201d isn\u2019t love. We can all live without people, but how they make us believe we can\u2019t forms the foundations of a trauma bond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Infatuation in the Moment<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nA narcissist is very infatuated by their new supply at the start of a relationship. Everything is new, and they have a brand new source of supply. Someone who hangs off their every word, and believes whatever they say. It\u2019s a wonderful time to carve out the person the narcissist wants to be with (little does the victim know\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You will be convinced that this person loves you more than anybody, but everything changes once the infatuation phase wears off.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t Fall For The Love Bomb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nUsing gifts, words, physical affection or gestures are all included in ways the narcissist can love bomb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019ve been love-bombed, you\u2019ll know how intense it feels to be caught up in such exhilarating moments of pure heaven. You feel like you\u2019ve been saved by an angel and swept off your feet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You might be off your feet, but you weren\u2019t swept – you were pushed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Love bombing is addictive, just as much for them as it is for you, which means you fail to see the bad moments for what they truly are because you will be too busy falling for their flowers, chocolates, and empty promises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pulling you in and making you feel adored through excessive flattery and praise, constantly sharing feelings, and showering you with gifts you neither want nor need is how they pull you in and bond with you tightly. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Getting involved with a narcissist is a dangerous game. Some people compare it to swimming in a pool of water, and the longer you swim, the deeper you get. Suddenly, you\u2019re in a place you don\u2019t recognize, tired and nowhere near the shore. The tricks narcissists have up their sleeves are endless, and many of … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20597,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20586"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20586"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20599,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20586\/revisions\/20599"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
The classic sign that you are enmeshed with a narcissist is the money that comes your way. Whether they treat you to a fancy dinner, take you on a beautiful vacation or offer you money to spend how you please – they use it to replace love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Love for them simply doesn\u2019t exist <\/em>as it does for everybody else. They can\u2019t give time because they don\u2019t want to. They much prefer to say, \u201cHere\u2019s something I can hold against you later, and you will take it because it is the most tempting currency I have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n To the narcissist – money is <\/em>love. Reality is fake, and fake is reality – they don\u2019t know the difference, and they don\u2019t expect you to either. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI had such a hard time growing up.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI do this because of my past.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI am who I am, and I\u2019ll never be any different.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Heard it all before? I bet you have. It\u2019s the same spiel from all narcissists because they all operate in the same way. Once you spot one – you can spot them all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Their excuses come from what they want you to think is a painful place. They use them to do, say or act however they want with you, but act as though it\u2019s all coming from a place of love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If a narcissist is feeding you excuses, they are doing it to convince you that they aren\u2019t the problem and over time, you will start to use those same excuses to defend them when you are being questioned. <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is a long-standing tactic used, but one that helps manipulate you and keep you the person who never sees them for who they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This isn\u2019t love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lies are used to get people out of trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt wasn\u2019t me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Accompanied by the innocent shrug – who isn\u2019t to believe that if it is dished up with a side of slight smiles and pitiful eyebrow furrowing? The narcissist knows exactly what they\u2019re doing, and how to do it most effectively. <\/p>\n\n\n\n They will lie, and if they are really <\/em>clever, they might actually remember <\/em>some of their lies. However – when it comes to love – no lie is off bounds. This is to glaze over their mistakes or ill timed comments to make you think they love you because they don\u2019t want to lose what you offer them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNobody has ever accepted or loved me the way you do.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou understand me like nobody else.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOnly you get me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can\u2019t lose you, not after everything I\u2019ve been through.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis connection is amazing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve never felt this way before.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re my soulmate.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The list goes on and on – but the words all boil down to one motive:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The narcissist refuses to let you go, and will use their past to pretend, like some huge, grandiose love story, that you were destined to meet and understand each other as deeply as you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is fictitious, and a story they love to tell to garner sympathy and pity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If they feel pitied, they have successfully placed themselves in the victim role. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Narcissists are experts at creating trauma bonds. This is because trauma bonds are inconsistent, and narcissists thrive on inconsistency. They play up to it like it was a fuel to their minds, and as a result, you can suffer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In a healthy relationship, bonding happens over time, with honesty and empathy intertwined. Trauma bonds stem from unhealthy dynamics – usually involving an abuser and a person abused – but it will appear as love to those who seek any form of attachment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Attachment isn\u2019t love, and the idea of \u201cbeing unable to live without somebody\u201d isn\u2019t love. We can all live without people, but how they make us believe we can\u2019t forms the foundations of a trauma bond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Infatuation in the Moment<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n A narcissist is very infatuated by their new supply at the start of a relationship. Everything is new, and they have a brand new source of supply. Someone who hangs off their every word, and believes whatever they say. It\u2019s a wonderful time to carve out the person the narcissist wants to be with (little does the victim know\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n You will be convinced that this person loves you more than anybody, but everything changes once the infatuation phase wears off.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t Fall For The Love Bomb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Using gifts, words, physical affection or gestures are all included in ways the narcissist can love bomb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve been love-bombed, you\u2019ll know how intense it feels to be caught up in such exhilarating moments of pure heaven. You feel like you\u2019ve been saved by an angel and swept off your feet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You might be off your feet, but you weren\u2019t swept – you were pushed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Love bombing is addictive, just as much for them as it is for you, which means you fail to see the bad moments for what they truly are because you will be too busy falling for their flowers, chocolates, and empty promises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pulling you in and making you feel adored through excessive flattery and praise, constantly sharing feelings, and showering you with gifts you neither want nor need is how they pull you in and bond with you tightly. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Getting involved with a narcissist is a dangerous game. Some people compare it to swimming in a pool of water, and the longer you swim, the deeper you get. Suddenly, you\u2019re in a place you don\u2019t recognize, tired and nowhere near the shore. The tricks narcissists have up their sleeves are endless, and many of … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20597,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20586"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20586"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20599,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20586\/revisions\/20599"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Reeling Excuse After Excuse<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Limitless Lies<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Their Past is \u201cWhat Led Them To You\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
The Trauma Bond<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n