{"id":20517,"date":"2024-03-25T11:58:56","date_gmt":"2024-03-25T10:58:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/?p=20517"},"modified":"2024-03-25T11:58:57","modified_gmt":"2024-03-25T10:58:57","slug":"dont-fall-prey-to-a-narcissists-false-promises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/dont-fall-prey-to-a-narcissists-false-promises\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Fall Prey to a Narcissist’s False Promises"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When you\u2019re in a relationship with a narcissist, you\u2019ll quickly realize that they tend not to follow through on their promises. They may act like they care for you and want to give you the world, but it\u2019s all an act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below, we\u2019ll dive into reasons not to fall for a narcissist\u2019s promises, even if they seem genuine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Narcissism and Future Faking<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re realizing that the narcissist doesn\u2019t follow through with what they say they\u2019ll do, it\u2019s time to learn about future faking. This concept explains a lot of the narcissist\u2019s failed promises. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Future faking occurs when narcissists talk about wanting a future with you. They may discuss getting engaged, marrying, buying a house, or having children together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Typically, these future-focused discussions happen early in the relationship. The narcissist makes promises about the future, to give the impression that they are committed to the relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimately, future faking is a form of manipulation. By making promises about the future, the narcissist convinces you that they are highly invested in the relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you perceive them as being highly committed to you, you\u2019ll be more willing to devote your time and attention to them. Additionally, you won\u2019t be taken aback when they take advantage of you, such as by borrowing money or living with you rent-free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through future-faking, the narcissist gets exactly what they want: you devote all your time and attention to them, which you\u2019ll be willing to do, because you\u2019re convinced you\u2019ve met your lifelong partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Role of Love Bombing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Another way that narcissists hook people at the beginning of the relationship is through a tactic called love bombing. This involves showering you with affection, attention, and promises for a blissful relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, these promises will never come to fruition. By showering you with affection at the start of the relationship, the narcissist succeeds in getting you to fall head-over-heels in love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll probably think that you\u2019ve found your perfect soul mate, and the relationship will feel like the fairy tale romance you\u2019ve sought. As time goes on, you\u2019ll realize that the narcissist can\u2019t really live up to their promises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After they\u2019ve hooked you, they will begin to change their behavior. They may start to insult you, disappear for hours or even days, and act as if you don\u2019t mean anything to them. This is part of a cycle, in which they initially shower you with love, only to devalue you as time goes on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since you fell for the love bombing, you\u2019ll simply work harder to win the narcissist\u2019s affection back. If you still believe the promises they made during the love bombing phase, you\u2019ll convince yourself that you must have made a mistake, and that you\u2019re responsible for returning the relationship to the blissful romance it once was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is exactly what the narcissist wants: for you to believe the promises they made at the start. As long as you believe these promises, you will allow them to continue to take advantage of you and break your heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must understand that the narcissist can\u2019t keep their promises; it\u2019s just a manipulation tactic. They may return to the love-bombing phase from time-to-time, but the toxic cycle will continue, and they\u2019ll be back to devaluing you before long. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Narcissistic Fantasies<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Also crucial to understanding that you should never trust a narcissist\u2019s promises is the contribution of fantasies. People with narcissistic traits tend to fantasize about ideal love, power, and beauty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the start of a relationship, they may believe you are their ideal match. As such, they will put you on a pedestal, convinced that you are their perfect lover, perhaps sent to bring them happiness finally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They will promise you the world since they see perfection in your eyes. They\u2019ll quickly talk about settling down, building a family, and spending their life with you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The unfortunate truth is that this is just a fantasy. No one is perfect, and as soon as the narcissist realizes you\u2019re a human with your own flaws and quirks, the fantasy will come to a screeching halt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once the narcissist no longer views you as their perfect soul mate, they will begin to treat you differently. They may become cold and callous, or perhaps discard you for someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll be left shocked, wondering what happened to the promises the narcissist made to stay committed to you for life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Narcissism and Lack of Empathy <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists, by definition, are self-centered and lacking in empathy. This is another reason it\u2019s a huge risk to believe any of their promises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A narcissist may promise you a happy life together, but only because it serves their needs. They don\u2019t truly intend to be a supportive, loving partner to you. They just want to play on your desire for loyalty and commitment so they can get what they want from you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sadly, this has nothing to do with them actually wanting to keep their promises to you. The narcissist\u2019s motivations are entirely self-centered, and they aren\u2019t particularly concerned about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because the narcissist lacks empathy, they won\u2019t care about hurting you. When they break their promises to you, they\u2019ll be unable to identify with your hurt feelings or negative emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Master Manipulation <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Finally, narcissists are master manipulators by nature. They are willing to exploit you to get what they want out of you, which requires some degree of manipulation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone with manipulative traits cannot be trusted to follow their promises. They will tell you what they think you want to hear, so you will comply with their demands. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since a narcissist is such an expert manipulator, they may deny ever making promises to you. For instance, if they talked with you about wanting to get married, they may later deny ever having that conversation when you bring up a proposal a year later. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Signs the Narcissist is Making False Promises<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re still not convinced the narcissist is untrustworthy, consider the following signs their promises to you are false:<\/p>\n\n\n\n