{"id":17977,"date":"2023-07-03T09:56:20","date_gmt":"2023-07-03T08:56:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/?p=17977"},"modified":"2023-07-03T09:56:21","modified_gmt":"2023-07-03T08:56:21","slug":"unintentional-gaslighting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/unintentional-gaslighting\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83e\udd10 Is Unintentional Gaslighting a Thing? How Do You Stop It?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-ultimate-post-table-of-content ultp-block-ab1ef0\"><div class=\"ultp-block-wrapper\"><div class=\"ultp-block-toc\"><div class=\"ultp-toc-header\"><div class=\"ultp-toc-heading\">Quick Links<\/div><div class=\"ultp-collapsible-toggle ultp-toggle-collapsed ultp-collapsible-right\"><a class=\"ultp-collapsible-text ultp-collapsible-open\" href=\"javascript:;\">[Open]<\/a><a class=\"ultp-collapsible-text ultp-collapsible-hide\" href=\"javascript:;\">[Close]<\/a><\/div><\/div><div class=\"ultp-block-toc-style1 ultp-block-toc-body\" style=\"display:none;\"><ul class=\"ultp-toc-lists\"><li><a href=\"#What_Is_Unintentional_Gaslighting,_And_Is_This_a_Thing?\">What Is Unintentional Gaslighting, And Is This a Thing?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#Are_Gaslighters_Aware_They_Are_Gaslighting?\">Are Gaslighters Aware They Are Gaslighting?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#Is_Unintentional_Gaslighting_a_Form_of_Abuse?\">Is Unintentional Gaslighting a Form of Abuse?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#What_Are_the_Effects_of_Unintentional_Gaslighting?\">What Are the Effects of Unintentional Gaslighting?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#Examples_of_Unintentional_Gaslighting\">Examples of Unintentional Gaslighting<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#How_to_Deal_With_Unintentional_Gaslighting?\">How to Deal With Unintentional Gaslighting?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#How_to_Stop_Unintentional_Gaslighting?\">How to Stop Unintentional Gaslighting?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#FAQ\">FAQ<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Even though someone may not engage in this behavior consciously, unintentional&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/what-is-gaslighting-in-narcissism\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">gaslighting<\/a>&nbsp;is real. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It refers to denying, dismissing, or distorting someone\u2019s sense of reality. It can be considered emotional or psychological abuse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anyone can become an unintentional gaslighter- even a white lie or strong exaggeration may fall under this category. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But when someone constantly gaslights- even when unaware- they can hurt others and seriously erode their relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\ud83e\udd10 Is Unintentional Gaslighting a Thing_ How Do You Stop It\" class=\"wp-image-17989\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It-600x600.jpg 600w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/\ud83e\udd10-Is-Unintentional-Gaslighting-a-Thing_-How-Do-You-Stop-It.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide has-base-3-color has-accent-background-color has-text-color has-background has-medium-font-size\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<p>In this article, I will talk about Unintentional gaslighting and how it occurs when someone unknowingly manipulates others, causing them to doubt their reality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can be harmful and have significant effects on relationships and personal well-being.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"What_Is_Unintentional_Gaslighting,_And_Is_This_a_Thing?\">What Is Unintentional Gaslighting, And Is This a Thing?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s no specific term for unintentional gaslighting, but it\u2019s a thing. Some people may call unintentional gaslighting \u2018mild gaslighting,\u2019 \u2018shadow gaslighting,\u2019 or \u2018unconscious gaslighting.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Others lump it in with gaslighting without differentiating whether the gaslighter is\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/narcissistic-liar\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">voluntarily lying<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gaslighting allows people to maintain control over a situation or person. In abusive relationships, gaslighting can distort someone else\u2019s reality so much that they second-guess their motives, relationships, and overall values.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Lying sets the stage for mind games, denial, and covert agendas.\" class=\"wp-image-18001\" width=\"700\" height=\"933\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>In milder situations, gaslighting can help people avoid accountability or sidestep shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Are_Gaslighters_Aware_They_Are_Gaslighting?\">Are Gaslighters Aware They Are Gaslighting?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes gaslighters have insight into their behaviors. It\u2019s a misconception that abusers or narcissists are oblivious to their actions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many people know what they\u2019re doing is wrong, but they consider the validation and control they receive worth it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some gaslighters may not recognize the true nature of their manipulation. They may have excellent intentions (lying to protect someone else or presenting themselves more positively as a way to seek approval), but the delivery can still be harmful.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Is_Unintentional_Gaslighting_a_Form_of_Abuse?\">Is Unintentional Gaslighting a Form of Abuse?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Unintentional gaslighting can become abusive, even if the patterns aren\u2019t explicit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lying sets the stage for mind games, denial, and covert agendas. This hurts other people and can destroy relationships. It leaves a victim feeling disrespected and unappreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-4.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-4-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-17999\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-4-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-4-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-4-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-4.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"What_Are_the_Effects_of_Unintentional_Gaslighting?\">What Are the Effects of Unintentional Gaslighting?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Unintentional gaslighting can make people feel ashamed,&nbsp;<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/do-narcissists-feel-guilt\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">guilty<\/a>, afraid, or confused. It can also trigger someone to think a certain problem is their fault, even when that\u2019s not true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unintentional gaslighting also blocks trust. It\u2019s hard to rely on someone if you feel like they\u2019re constantly manipulating you or making you out to be the bad guy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might find yourself withdrawing from the relationship and supposing resentful. This can lead to increased feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. It can also exacerbate issues like substance use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Examples_of_Unintentional_Gaslighting\">Examples of Unintentional Gaslighting<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people engage in unintentional gaslighting from time to time. Here are some ways people can gaslight without even realizing it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Example_\">Example 1<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Invalidating someone\u2019s feelings or experiences:&nbsp;<\/strong>This can sound like a parent telling their toddler during a tantrum, \u201cYou\u2019re just tired\u201d (even if they feel upset or hungry). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can also sound like a partner saying, \u201cIt\u2019s a good thing you didn\u2019t get that job. You would have ended up hating that commute.\u201d Even if some of the statement is true, assuming a universal truth can be a type of gaslighting.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Example_\">Example 2<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Being overly positive:&nbsp;<\/strong>Toxic positivity may sound good in theory, but saying cliches like, \u201cIt\u2019s all going to turn out okay!\u201d or \u201cEverything happens for a reason\u201d sometimes comes across as dismissive or even callous. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The reality is that difficult things happen, and pretending they don\u2019t invalidates someone\u2019s actual experience.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Example_\">Example 3<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Telling white lies:&nbsp;<\/strong>White lies (\u201cI love your dress!\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry I was late- I thought the party started an hour later!\u201d) may seem harmless, but they can be a form of unintentional gaslighting, particularly if the other person discovers the truth.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Example_\">Example 4<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Being adamant about the definitive truth:&nbsp;<\/strong>Life can be so subjective, but when people assume they always know what\u2019s best, they disregard other people\u2019s needs and feelings. This can be a form of gaslighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Believing in all-or-nothing extremes:&nbsp;<\/strong>Phrases like, \u201cYou never listen to me!\u201d or \u201cWe always do what you want on the weekends\u201d are overly rigid and often untrue. This type of gaslighting often comes across as judgmental and can cause deep resentment in relationships.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group alignwide\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Example_\">Example 5<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Accusing someone of being too emotional\/sensitive:&nbsp;<\/strong>Dismissing someone\u2019s internal state can be a form of gaslighting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You may disagree with how a person responds to a specific situation, but outright demeaning their reaction isn\u2019t considerate.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"How_to_Deal_With_Unintentional_Gaslighting?\"><strong>How to Deal With Unintentional Gaslighting?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-5.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-5-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-18000\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-5-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-5-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-5-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-5.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Gaslighting ranges from feeling mildly uncomfortable to infuriating. Chronic gaslighting becomes a form of abuse- you\u2019re no longer emotionally safe in the relationship. It\u2019s like the other person holds disproportionate power and control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some ways to manage and respond to unintentional gaslighting:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Give_Someone_the_Benefit_of_the_Doubt\">Give Someone the Benefit of the Doubt<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes gaslighting can be annoying, but you might recognize it as fairly harmless.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, your neighbor might tell you the street cleaning is canceled next week. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re pretty sure that\u2019s not true, but he is adamant that it is. Instead of assuming that you know what\u2019s best, giving someone the benefit of the doubt means checking their beliefs for accuracy. They might still be wrong, but it\u2019s worth being open-minded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Ignore_It_When_It_Doesn\u2019t_Affect_You\">Ignore It (When It Doesn\u2019t Affect You)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t always have to respond to unintentional gaslighting. When it doesn\u2019t directly involve you, stepping in can cause other problems.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, you might feel frustrated that your coworker often lies about getting stuck in traffic when you know she chronically runs late. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it may not be appropriate for you to confront her or talk to your boss about it. The situation will run its course, and it\u2019s probably best if you avoid getting involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Identify_the_Gaslightingnbsp;\">Identify the Gaslighting&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want to address gaslighting, you must plant your feet in the truth and let the other person know what\u2019s going on. If you want someone to&nbsp;<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/can-a-narcissist-change\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">change their behavior<\/a>, they need to know how their behavior impacts you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s say you want to order dessert, and someone snarkily says, \u201cYou surely can\u2019t be hungry after that big dinner!\u201d Instead of ignoring them or reacting passive-aggressively, you could respond by saying, \u201cI love the cake here, and my appetite isn\u2019t up for discussion.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Set_Firm_Boundaries\">Set Firm Boundaries<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Boundaries protect your integrity and can stop or reduce gaslighting. Boundaries require you to identify your truth and set limits with others.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In that same example above, a boundary might sound like, \u201cPlease don\u2019t talk about what I eat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I find it uncomfortable. If you do it again, I will leave this dinner.\u201d Remember that you are entitled to have boundaries at all times and in all relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If someone can\u2019t respect them, it\u2019s worth reevaluating the parameters within that dynamic.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Change_How_You_Communicate\">Change How You Communicate<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You might notice that specific topics trigger gaslighting in your relationships. For example, whenever you try to talk to your mother about how your father\u2019s drinking bothers you, she becomes defensive and accuses you of being too judgmental and critical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want to keep a positive relationship with your mother, you might decide it\u2019s best to avoid the topic altogether. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While you may wish for a different outcome, focusing on safer and less emotionally-reactive subjects may be more beneficial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"How_to_Stop_Unintentional_Gaslighting?\"><strong>How to Stop Unintentional Gaslighting?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-2-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-17997\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-2-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-2-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-2-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/1-Set-boundaries-2.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>If you recognize that you gaslight others, you\u2019re certainly not alone. Insight is the first step toward change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can improve how you respond to others, but holding yourself accountable in your relationships is important.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some ways to avoid unintentional gaslighting in relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Consider_Why_You_Gaslight\">Consider Why You Gaslight<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Why do you lie or try to control a situation? Answering those questions can be painful, but they may uncover essential truths about yourself.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people gaslight to maintain their image or feel a sense of power. They may have complex histories of abuse, and they learned to gaslight as a coping mechanism. Whatever the case, knowing your why is an essential step toward change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Pause_Before_Responding\">Pause Before Responding<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you feel angry, upset, or let down by someone else, pause. Don\u2019t react just yet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In those heated moments, you\u2019re more likely to try to hurt someone else in response. Think about the healthiest way you could respond, and try to commit to following through with that action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Listen_Deeply_to_Other_People\">Listen Deeply to Other People<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Empathy sets the foundation for honesty and connection. When you can empathize with someone else\u2019s feelings, you\u2019re more likely to care about their integrity. That, in turn, makes you want to be a better person for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you struggle to listen, commit to practicing more mindfulness during conversations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t interrupt or focus on what you want to say next. Pay attention to what they\u2019re saying, and remember that their needs and emotions are valid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Accept_Different_Truths_and_Realities\">Accept Different Truths and Realities<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>There are no universal truths about how people should live their lives. And assuming there is only creates tension within relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, try to focus on being more curious and open-minded. Learn about other people\u2019s experiences. Practice embracing a more tolerant approach when meeting new people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Apologize_and_Hold_Yourself_Accountable\">Apologize and Hold Yourself Accountable<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you notice yourself slipping back into gaslighting behavior, acknowledge it and aim to repair it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s no need to go over the top with your apology, but you should label what happened and ask the other person how to make it right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"FAQ\"><strong>FAQ<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"What_Is_Shadow_Gaslighting?\">What Is Shadow Gaslighting?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Shadow gaslighting is a type of unconscious gaslighting where people use more indirect or covert strategies to manipulate others. Usually, this entails one person trying to evoke doubt about what\u2019s occurring in someone else\u2019s life.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, if one partner doesn\u2019t like their partner\u2019s coworker, they might keep dropping comments like, \u201cHe just seems so sketchy,\u201d or \u201cHe\u2019s always flirting with you, and it\u2019s so obvious.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Over time, these comments can cause the other person to feel guilty and distance themselves from their coworker.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Why_Do_People_Unconsciously_Gaslight_Others?\">Why Do People Unconsciously Gaslight Others?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Gaslighting allows people to maintain control over a situation or person. In abusive relationships, gaslighting can distort someone else\u2019s reality so much that they second-guess their motives, relationships, and overall values. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In milder situations, gaslighting can help people avoid accountability or sidestep shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Is_Gaslighting_Common?\">Is Gaslighting Common?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Occasional gaslighting is common, but more chronic patterns of it are indicative of abusive relationships or narcissism. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are less typical, but they can still occur in intimate relationships, workplace dynamics, and between family members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"Do_You_Tell_a_Gaslighter_They\u2019re_Gaslighting?\">Do You Tell a Gaslighter They\u2019re Gaslighting?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Some gaslighters- mainly if they\u2019re oriented towards introspection and growth- might respond well to your feedback. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if they are generally more hostile or defensive, there\u2019s a good chance they\u2019ll respond poorly or gaslight you even more.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even though someone may not engage in this behavior consciously, unintentional&nbsp;gaslighting&nbsp;is real. It refers to denying, dismissing, or distorting someone\u2019s sense of reality. It can be considered emotional or psychological abuse. Anyone can become an unintentional gaslighter- even a white lie or strong exaggeration may fall under this category. But when someone constantly gaslights- even &#8230; <a title=\"\ud83e\udd10 Is Unintentional Gaslighting a Thing? How Do You Stop It?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/unintentional-gaslighting\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about \ud83e\udd10 Is Unintentional Gaslighting a Thing? How Do You Stop It?\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17989,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[599],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17977"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17977"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17977\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17989"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}