Narcissists ignore you for many reasons, all of which have to do with power, control, and self-preservation Most of the time, they ignore you when you haven\u2019t even done something wrong.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Their ignoring behaviors have so little to do with you and nearly everything to do with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s get into what you need to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
- 9 Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore You<\/a><\/li>
- What Do You Do When a Narcissist Ignores You?<\/a><\/li>
- Can Professional Help Support You in Dealing With Narcissistic Ignorance?<\/a><\/li>
- Before You Go<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
9 Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore You<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, it\u2019s not a matter of if <\/em>they will ignore you. It\u2019s a matter of when. <\/em>And the more connected you are, the more they oscillate between coming close and pushing away. <\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"9](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/9-Reasons-Why-Narcissists-Ignore-You-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nThat said, being ignored hurts, and it can feel confusing, especially if you don\u2019t understand why they\u2019re doing what they\u2019re doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here are the top reasons why narcissists ignore people: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#1 They Want You to Chase Them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Narcissists often get a rise from playing games, especially when it comes to romantic partners. They love the thrill of knowing someone wants them, and they enjoy being chased. <\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/They-Want-You-to-Chase-Them-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nSo, if they ignore you all of a sudden (especially if it\u2019s during the love-bombing phase), it could be a sign that they\u2019re starting to feel too attached. They want to turn things around and have you <\/em>pursue them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unfortunately, by that point, you already tend to be hooked. The narcissist is skilled at charming others, and once they have you enchanted, it\u2019s hard to see the reality for what it is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#2 They Want to Start a Fight <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Although it may seem strange, narcissists don\u2019t necessarily dislike conflict the same way most people do. In fact, many of them thrive in it- they find it interesting and even, at times, enjoyable.<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/They-Want-to-Start-a-Fight--1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nThe truth is that narcissists are skilled in ensuring that they make win-win situations for themselves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They know how to oscillate between various manipulation tactics to ensure they get the final word (and say) in most arguments. And they tend to strategically pick people who will cosign their toxic behaviors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, if you did something that upset them (even if it was a long time ago), they may start ignoring you as a way to \u201clure you in\u201d to their explosive behavior. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#3 They Want You to Feel Remorseful<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s no secret that narcissists often exaggerate even the smallest mistake into a massive crisis. So even if you did one small thing <\/em>wrong, they tend to act like it\u2019s the biggest deal in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/They-Want-You-to-Feel-Remorseful--1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nTheir silent treatment is a way to punish you. They want you to feel incredibly guilty over what you did to them. They want you to come back groveling and begging for their forgiveness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course, this is a one-way street. As you probably know, narcissists rarely, if ever, hold themselves accountable for their actions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They don\u2019t experience remorse in the same way others do. When they apologize, it\u2019s a fake apology<\/strong><\/a>, and it\u2019s only stated because they want you to forgive them and move on quickly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite what they might tell you, most narcissists aren\u2019t necessarily interested in changing their ways<\/a><\/strong> for the better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#4 They\u2019re Focused on Someone Else<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The narcissist might ignore you if they have their sights on a new narcissistic supply<\/strong><\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Narcissistic supply refers to any person or thing that temporarily satisfies the narcissist\u2019s ego and reinforces their delusions of superiority or grandiosity.<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They\u2019re](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Theyre-Focused-on-Someone-Else-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nNarcissists, in many ways, have an addiction to approval, attention, and admiration. They depend on it to feel validated. It becomes as essential as food or water. Because they don\u2019t have an intrinsic concept of self-worth, they need to borrow it from other people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The problem with narcissistic supply is that it\u2019s never enough. When it comes to using people as a source of supply, they may think <\/em>they\u2019ve found the perfect person who fulfills their every fantasy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But once that person\u2019s real humanness starts to show, the rage sets in. They start turning their efforts elsewhere to see what else might be out there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#5 They Want to Pretend Like They Don\u2019t Care About You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Some narcissists ignore people because they want to act more distant or aloof than they really are. This is all about maintaining an image. The narcissist doesn\u2019t want to come across as eager or clingy. <\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/They-Want-to-Pretend-Like-They-Dont-Care-About-You-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nAnd so, they ignore you to act as if they\u2019re more important than they really are. They don\u2019t want you to know how much they care about you. This keeps you <\/em>feeling more anxious in the relationship, and that\u2019s exactly how they want the dynamic to be. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you confront them about this behavior, they won\u2019t readily admit it. Instead, they might gaslight you and act as if everything is completely normal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This can sound like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nWhat do you mean? I\u2019ve just been a little quiet, but I already told you I\u2019ve been really busy at work. I need you to not make this about yourself!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
#6 They Want to Make You Feel Jealous<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Narcissists may ignore you by pretending that they\u2019re overly busy when they\u2019re really not.<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/They-Want-to-Make-You-Feel-Jealous-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nThis is to make it sound like they have a more glamorous or important life than they actually have. And they want you to feel jealous<\/strong><\/a> of all the cool things they \u201callegedly\u201d have going on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In that same vein, they\u2019ll also usually be guarded or vague about who they spend their time with. This is all about trying to make you feel confused and trying to \u201cget you\u201d to act needy around them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This type of ignoring is often a direct reaction to their own jealousy. If they feel threatened by something or someone in your life, they\u2019ll act out before you have any potential chance of hurting them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#7 They\u2019re Devaluing You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Narcissistic relationships<\/a><\/strong> tend to fall into predictable patterns. It starts with the idealizing or love-bombing phase, where they shower you with attention and adoration. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is the most euphoric part of the relationship, and both parties tend to feel like the relationship can and will satisfy their every need.<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They\u2019re](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Theyre-Devaluing-You-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nBut at some point, the perfection fades. You can\u2019t do everything right all the time, and as you make mistakes, the narcissist starts taking them personally. You\u2019re now a flawed person and that makes the narcissist frustrated, threatened, or even bored altogether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point, the devaluing begins<\/strong><\/a>. Devaluing can consist of many abusive behaviors<\/a><\/strong>, such as verbal abuse, humiliation, threats, smearing, and ignoring. The narcissist does all this while the other person wonders what they did wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Devaluing leads to discard, and this happens once the narcissist no longer gains value from their narcissistic supply. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They choose to replace them with another new partner. The discard is almost always temporary, as narcissists love to hoover people to keep tabs on them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#8 They Just Want Attention <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes the narcissist isn\u2019t ignoring you for any specific reason beyond wanting attention. And if you call them out on this, they\u2019ll usually respond with, Oh, sorry, I\u2019ve just been busy! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or, they might continue ignoring your texts and calls- only to like something you share on social media. <\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/They-Just-Want-Attention--1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nNone of it makes sense, and it\u2019s frustrating. But this is how they stir the pot to keep you on your toes. They\u2019re simply interested in playing mind games and seeing what happens as a result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Keep in mind that if they have gotten away with ignoring people in the past, they\u2019ve learned that this obnoxious tactic works. And the more you enable the behavior, the more inclined they will be to keep doing it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
#9 They\u2019re Only Pretending to Ignore You<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Silent treatment<\/a><\/strong> feels like a pretty obvious type of ignoring. But just because the narcissist isn\u2019t talking to you, it doesn\u2019t mean they aren\u2019t keeping tabs.<\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"They\u2019re](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Theyre-Only-Pretending-to-Ignore-You-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nIf you\u2019re in a relationship with a narcissist, they love knowing what you\u2019re doing at all times. So even if they refuse to speak, that doesn\u2019t mean they aren\u2019t lurking on your social media, asking friends what you\u2019re doing, or stalking your whereabouts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What Do You Do When a Narcissist Ignores You?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\nThe best reaction to a narcissist ignoring you is doing nothing at all. In other words, you should basically ignore the ignoring<\/strong><\/a>. But stand your ground because the narcissist is absolutely banking <\/em>on you giving in first. <\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Even if you feel comfortable, try to hold your limit and remind yourself that they\u2019ll eventually get so frustrated that they\u2019ll explode in some other way. <\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"What](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/What-Do-You-Do-When-a-Narcissist-Ignores-You-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nSo, don\u2019t give their ridiculous behavior any attention whatsoever. Don\u2019t try to find the logic in the situation. Don\u2019t try to seek re<\/strong><\/a>venge<\/strong><\/a>. Don\u2019t even try to get them to apologize to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To give a better picture of what to do, it might be helpful to imagine a toddler who\u2019s in the middle of a full-blown meltdown. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They\u2019re upset something didn\u2019t go their way, and now they\u2019re kicking and screaming and have lost all sense of control. What should you do? Intervene with them? Try to make it all better? Attempt to argue or scream back at them? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Most of the time, no! Those responses won\u2019t work, and they\u2019ll only escalate the chaos. The toddler will likely become even more defiant and angry. And just like a toddler, most narcissists aren\u2019t capable of integrating logic and reason. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember that negative attention is still attention, so if a narcissist senses their actions get under your skin, they\u2019ll continue engaging in their abusive tactics. Doing nothing at all and revealing no emotion is the best reaction of all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Can Professional Help Support You in Dealing With Narcissistic Ignorance?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
If you continue finding yourself in toxic narcissistic patterns, it may be beneficial to seek professional support. Unfortunately, if you have experienced narcissistic abuse<\/a> in the past, you\u2019re more likely to experience it again. <\/p>\n\n\n
\n![\"Can](\"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/02\/Can-Professional-Help-Support-You-in-Dealing-With-Narcissistic-Ignorance-1024x1024.jpg\")
<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\nTherapy can help you cope with narcissistic abuse in many ways, including:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Building Your Self-Esteem<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re in a relationship with a narcissist, you probably have a diminished concept of self. You may have not had great self-esteem even before you met them, but whatever confidence you did have has probably long eroded. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Therapy can help you build a better relationship with yourself. When you value yourself and your own needs, you\u2019re less likely to tolerate abusive dynamics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Supporting You Unconditionally (Without Bias)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
There\u2019s nothing inherently wrong with confiding in friends and family members. But you want to be especially mindful of mutual relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If your narcissistic partner is closely connected to the people in your life, there\u2019s a good chance they\u2019ve tricked other people into believing they\u2019re much different than they really are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A therapist, on the other hand, doesn\u2019t know who your partner is. They haven\u2019t been charmed or deceived- they only have the information you present to them, and they can remain more impartial when they talk to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Practicing Healthier Coping Skills<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Abusive relationships can be incredibly stressful, and therapy offers a safe environment to learn new ways to cope with these challenging emotions. Remember that self-care is never selfish, although narcissists might try to convince you that it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Helping You Stand Up For Yourself<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t be surprised if the narcissist freaks out if you tell them you\u2019re going to therapy. That\u2019s because, on a fundamental level, narcissists feel threatened by the idea of you changing and building your emotional resilience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They don\u2019t want you to truly recognize the magnitude of their abuse. They don\u2019t want you to see reality for what it genuinely is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But a good therapist can help you stand up for yourself and honor your values. This is important if you decide that you want to set healthy boundaries or leave the relationship altogether. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before You Go<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s frustrating and confusing being ignored. But when a narcissist ignores you, the feelings tend to be even more intense. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember that their actions have nothing to do with you. It\u2019s all about how they want to maintain their status quo and meet their own needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\nContinue Reading<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
- \n
- How do you ignore a Narcissist?<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Do Narcissists like spending time alone?<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
- Can a Narcissist be faithful?<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Is the narcissist in your life ignoring you? If you feel frustrated by their immature actions, you\u2019re not alone. Narcissists are notorious for manipulating people, and ignoring is just another strategy they use to trigger emotional reactions. Narcissists ignore you for many reasons, all of which have to do with power, control, and self-preservation Most … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17436,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[655],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17390"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17390"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17390\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17436"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
- Do Narcissists like spending time alone?<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n
- What Do You Do When a Narcissist Ignores You?<\/a><\/li>