{"id":100,"date":"2020-08-06T16:35:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-06T15:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/?p=100"},"modified":"2023-08-14T06:42:33","modified_gmt":"2023-08-14T05:42:33","slug":"what-is-narcissistic-rage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thenarcissisticlife.com\/what-is-narcissistic-rage\/","title":{"rendered":"What is Narcissistic Rage?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Narcissistic rage is an episode of intense anger, aggression, and manipulative behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist feels out of control or senses they’re losing power. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Their rage can occur quickly or gradually. Although it often feels unpredictable, some people can spot patterns within a narcissistic rage cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A raging narcissist is nonsensical and only focused on protecting their own ego. They will do whatever it takes to reestablish a sense of safety for themselves, even if that comes at the expense of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"What<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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This article will discuss what triggers narcissistic rage, common narcissistic rage examples, and how you should respond if you feel caught in the crossfire.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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What is Narcissistic Rage?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"What<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Narcissistic rage happens when a narcissist faces a real or perceived threat to their self-image. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When their own behavior is confronted (or their false self is exposed), they have no defense. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because they can’t easily control their emotions, they implode on themselves or explode on others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Narcissistic rage comes in many forms, but angry outbursts are the most common reaction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a narcissist’s inflated sense of self-worth is attacked, they project their fear, shame, or guilt onto others. They often become indignant in their efforts to “be right” or “win” in a particular situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Consider reading:<\/strong> How to deal with Narcissistic Rage?<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Signs of Narcissistic Rage<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What does narcissistic rage look like? There isn’t a single image for it. Narcissistic rage comes in various forms, including any type of physical or verbal abuse<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes it doesn’t even look like direct anger- this type of rage can look like extreme jealousy<\/a>, controlling behaviors<\/a>, shame spirals, or even intense sadness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suddenly Withdrawing<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The silent treatment<\/a> is a typical sign of passive narcissistic rage. You can tell that something is wrong, but you may not know what, and the narcissist won’t give you the satisfaction of telling you the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This kind of stonewalling is by design. The narcissist wants you to feel anxious and guilty, and they will seemingly enjoy you checking in on them to ensure they’re okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some of the most common narcissistic rage signs:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Blaming You for Everything<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"Blaming<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It’s all your fault! You don’t love me. You never understand what I need. You’re the sick one here!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the narcissist is directing all blame onto you<\/a>, that’s a sign they’re in a narcissistic rage episode. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They can’t think rationally or consider their part in their dynamic. Instead, it’s easier for them to focus on why you’re causing issues (even if you haven’t done anything wrong).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mean Sarcasm<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists will sometimes disguise their rage by trying to be funny. This sets up a perfect stage for gaslighting<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you get offended, they can gaslight you by saying that you don’t know how to take a joke or that you always take things too literally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Threatening You<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"Threatening<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I’m not even sure I want to stay with you anymore.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I need to leave the house and spend some time thinking about whether this relationship is working for me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m going to tell your mom who you really are.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some narcissists will rage by threatening to leave you, hurt you, or otherwise cause problems. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a way to induce fear and maintain a sense of power<\/a>. They want you to feel threatened, and they also want you to quickly apologize for whatever they think you did wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Calling You Names or Criticizing You<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It can seem like a narcissist has no filter when they’re in the middle of an angry outburst. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They’ll attack your moral character and emotionally hit you where it hurts the most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’ve ever opened up about something vulnerable (like mental health issues), you can expect that sensitive topic to be the target of the narcissist’s rage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Narcissists love to learn other people’s weaknesses and vulnerabilities to later exploit them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-Harm or Substance Use<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"Self-Harm<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Some narcissists turn their narcissistic rage inward. If they struggle with addiction (as many narcissists do), this is when they’re most likely to engage in their habit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s how they have learned to cope with their emotional dysfunction and unstable sense of self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This poses significant problems for loved ones. They often feel responsible for preventing the narcissist from getting upset, and then they sometimes blame themselves when a relapse occurs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cutting Someone Off Completely<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

During a moment of explosive rage, a narcissist might decide to end a relationship altogether. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes they go back on their word later, but other times, this represents their final discard<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you pay close attention, you’ll see that most people with pathological narcissism have a history of unstable relationships and estrangements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Physical Aggression<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"Physical<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Some narcissists react to losing control by becoming physically dangerous toward other people or objects. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, they might throw their phone across the room if they come home to their child crying. Or, they might push their spouse after having a bad phone call with their mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Physical aggression is always dangerous, and it generally escalates. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That means, even if they aren’t being physically aggressive toward you yet, <\/em>there’s a good chance they could reach that point if provoked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Passive Aggression<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

I’m fine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m not angry. I’m perfectly calm.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many narcissists become passive-aggressive when experiencing narcissistic rage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is another way they maintain a sense of control in a situation. Instead of acknowledging their feelings or needs, they create situations where other people have to guess what’s going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Smearing Your Reputation<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"Smearing<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A narcissist might react to being angry by trying to ruin your reputation<\/a>. This is a form of sophisticated bullying, and the narcissist’s main goal is to convince other people that you’re <\/em>the bad person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They’ll go to your friends, family members, or coworkers to lament about everything you’re doing wrong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes they’ll even go online and try to tarnish your reputation virtually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Withholding Behaviors<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A narcissist might try to withhold affection, money, or other resources in a fit of rage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This creates an especially problematic dynamic if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist who has full control over certain domains of your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over time, this can lead to you feeling entirely dependent on the narcissist (which is always <\/em>a serious red flag).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dramatic Self-Deprecating Statements<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\"Dramatic<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Nothing I do is right!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m just worthless. Nobody loves me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many narcissists have a victim mindset, so they’ll use these statements as a way to seek empathy and validation from others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you rescue their feelings, it only reinforces narcissistic behavior.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Narc Rage Vs Normal Rage<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Everyone experiences anger, but people with personality disorders often have extreme rage that affects their everyday life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they feel angry, it’s like they have no ability to control their mood or behavior. Like a toddler, they melt down without thinking about the consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normal rage usually has a specific, reasonable trigger. For example, someone might get angry finding out that their partner cheated on them or that they lost their job. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are perfectly valid reasons to feel angry. In these cases, the frustration doesn’t escalate to verbal or physical aggression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone with typical anger may use healthy coping skills to help them regulate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They usually feel embarrassed by their actions, so they make more of an effort to work on their emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But narcissistic rage transcends normal emotional responses. When a narcissist is angry, it’s like they feel blinded by their own needs and emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They don’t consider other people. They don’t really even think of the consequences of their aggressive behavior- they need to attack.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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What Makes a Narcissist Angry and Triggers a Rage?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"What<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A narcissist’s self-esteem never feels solid or secure. Even though they act confident, they experience low self-esteem that can be threatened by seemingly any trigger. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anger acts as their primary defense mechanism- it’s how they simultaneously keep people close (because they feel scared) while also pushing them away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anything can trigger narcissistic rage, but some of the common triggers include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n